Casino Niagara Buffet Breakfast

Typical American tourist here (I suppose).
You know how it is with us, we come up from the States, check in to a hotel, get lost regular stuff like that.
Anyway, entering the country was not really all that great honestly. The customs guy was a complete and total prick. Traffic. Construction. That I expected, the latter half I expected though. The customs guy will get his one day, so I won't say any more on it unless asked.
After entering the country, we checked in and began progress towards the Niagara Falls. We found a place to park and all, but countless people before me have seen the Falls, and countless people after me will, too. What I want to say, as an American, and a first time visitor to Canada is that I never expected Ontario to be as large and as dense as it was.
Between the casinos, the general nightlife and downtown it reminded me of Las Vegas back stateside. Very, VERY packed city. I was taken off-guard, and I liked it.
A couple things are just insane, though. CAN$62 for breakfast for 2 and it seeming there's a MINIMUM of 6 IHOPs within a square mile.
TLDR, Canada was nice. Nice places and seemingly nice people (didn't talk to anybody), but man those prices are killer.

Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.)
S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans
S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine
S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery)
S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI
S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen)
S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though)
S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office
S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office
S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases)
S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street
S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office
S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it)
S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway
S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground
S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme
S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test
S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past
S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome)
S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving
S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood)
S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building
S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal)
S3E7: Creed sells office equipment
S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it
S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well
S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent)
S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall
S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head
S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them)
S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser
S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide
S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends
S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street)
S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit)
S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic)
S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer
S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress)
S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant
S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train
S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is)
S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition
S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it
S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger)
S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine
S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property)
S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well)
S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car)
S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee
S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room
S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller
S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them
S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight
S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer
S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage)
S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping)
S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car
S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics)
S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film
S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering)
S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal)
S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access)
S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive
S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight
S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son
S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building)
S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park
S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up)
S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office
S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency)
S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car)
S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime
S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron
S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment
S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty)
S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing
S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards
S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill)
S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish
S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment
S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder
S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David
S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone
S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim
S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot
S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield
S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump
S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally
S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump
S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back)
S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal
S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew
S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork
S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on
S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage)
S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft)
S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment
S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws
S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it
S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them
S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness
S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal
S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct)
S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house
S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly
S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past
S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs
S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office
S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot
S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager
S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office
S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points
S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper
S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan)
S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office
S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission)
S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch
S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL
S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot
S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on
S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy
S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox
S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving
S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard
S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face
S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith
S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection
S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car
S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall
S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot
S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail)
S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant)
S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her
S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it)
S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving
S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly
S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor
S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar
S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution)
S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin
S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half
S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects)
S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring
S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight
S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke
S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic
S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine
S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him;
S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes
S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar
S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs
S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office
S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency);
S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly
S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses

Lily woke up with a start. She tried to return to sleep, but the blaring of her alarm clock erased any chance of that happening. She picked it up and threw it at the wall. A loud clang resonated throughout the room, waking up Liberty. She was a loyal golden-doodle that had been with her for the past eight years. They had gone through this morning routine hundreds of times. Liberty bounded onto Lily's lap, making her sit up. "You ready for today Libby?" Lily whispered. Liberty barked in response.
The sun shined through the plexiglass windows of their spacious loft. Lily looked at the beauty that was Central Park as she sipped her hot chocolate. She looked at her feet to find Libby chowing down on her breakfast. She looked out into the New York skyline whilst finishing the contents of her mug. Liberty looked out as well.
A ring emitted from Lily's right pocket as she latched Liberty's collar. She didn't need to look at the screen to know who it was. She was expecting this call. "Hey Colin, I'm just taking Libby for her morning walk. I'll be there in an hour," she told him. She didn't wait for his response and hung up instead. Liberty led the way as they walked out of the apartment building and onto the street.
She had just dropped Liberty off at home and was now taking a seat at the round mahogany table of Meeting Room 3. She was browsing the news on her phone when Colin slid a folder across the table. "I'm sorry Lily, the algorithm can do things you can't and does what you can do faster," Colin said. Lily looked up and opened the folder. "An algorithm can't have conversations with clients, I can. An algorithm can't understand social cues, I can. You can hack an algorithm but you can't hack a human for God's sake, Colin!" Lily shouted. Colin stood up and took the folder.
"I'm sorry Lily, this has to happen," Colin replied. Lily sat up, straightened her jacket and walked out of the room.
She knew what was coming. There had been a rumour that the firm had acquired advanced software that could take their jobs. Her only problem was that the firm had fired her first. The email said the algorithm was only being tested for now. If it worked, she would be the first of hundreds of employees to be fired.
She spent the rest of the afternoon at home. She kept telling herself that everything would be okay. That she would find a job and that she would be able to make rent. She was scrolling through various job websites as she fiddled with the ring on her left hand. After hours of searching, she couldn't find a job with a high enough pay. If she took any of these jobs she would have to move out, and she was not doing that. The apartment was her dream. She decided that she had done enough job hunting for a day and poured herself a drink.
She didn't stop. It was 6:00 pm and her 3-litre bottle of scotch was nearly empty. She was thinking, and drinking helped her think. She needed a way out and finding another job was not going to work. She drank and thought. She did this until an idea struck her. An idea that worked in the movies and that could work in real life. An idea that seemed so unrealistic, it seemed possible. No, it would never work. It's 2019 and it would be impossible to get away with it. But they needed it. Ever since Lily's grandma had to go on life support, they lost all of their savings. She couldn't abandon her. It had to be done. She still remembers all those Sunday afternoons going out for ice cream after church. A singular tear dripped down her cheek. It was decided, they needed this. She called someone she knew could help. That person said yes. She hung up and lay down on her couch. She slept with a smile that night.
It was the next morning, and she was already on her laptop doing research. She needed to buy equipment. She needed to disguise them. She only stopped when she felt something on her right foot. She looked down to see Liberty lying down. Lily got up and filled Liberty's bowl with food and water.
She was on the phone when the package arrived. Liberty walked over as Lily flipped open its latches. She held it in her hands and looked down the barrel. She felt every indent and every bump on its metallic shell. She looked at Liberty and looked back at the weapon. She placed it back inside its case and took a seat on the couch. She turned on the T.V as Liberty took a seat beside her. She had all the tools she needed, it was only a matter of when.
It had been a week since they had come up with the plan. All the pieces were in place. All she had to do was step out of the cab she was currently in. Lily paid the driver, opened the door, stepped out of the cab, and waited for Libby to exit. She put on her sunglasses and gripped the leather leash in her right hand. As they crossed the street, she looked up and read the sign. The Bank of New York. She walked through the large glass doors and continued to the middle of the building. There were two elegant spiral staircases in front of her with booths to her left and right. There were only two security guards, one only armed with a baton, the other armed with a small handgun. This was not a problem. She waited a few seconds and soon one of the guards held their microphones close to their mouths. Soon both guards were no longer in the building. She looked over to booth 9 and found a man with his thumbs up. She transferred the leash to her left hand and reached into her pocket with her right. She pulled out her custom-fit 50 calibre Desert Eagle and fired a round into the ceiling.
She let go of Liberty's leash. As soon as that happened, Liberty ran towards the front exit and growled at anyone nearby. Everyone in the room instantly ruled out the front door as an exit. There was nowhere to go. Lily ran to the stairs and stood at the bottom. "Everybody listen up! I'm here for the money and nothing else! Nobody try to be a hero, 'cause nobody in this room can survive a shot to the head," Lily shouted. Liberty barked in response making everyone even more nervous. Lily pointed at two bank tellers and threw garbage bags at them. "Fill those up!" Lily yelled. The two scurried to opposite sides of the room and opened up the registers. They didn't have long. The police were probably on the way; the nearest station was 7 kilometres away. They had 3 minutes, and even that was pushing it. The tellers were fast, and soon Lily had the equivalent of a 420k in 4 trash bags. She whistled and Liberty ran over to her. Lily picked up her leash and they ran. Lily pushed open the fire exit and ran towards a dark blue Honda Civic. She pulled the door open and Liberty bounded inside. She sat in the driver's seat and was about to step on it when suddenly, the passenger door opened.
"About to leave without me, were you?" He said as he sat down. He was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants and a shiny plastic name tag that read 'Marcus'. He was a genius. He stole one of the guard's extra walkies and told them there was an emergency in another building. He told Lily when the traffic was worst in this area so that they could slow down the police.
He was also Lily's fiance.
She smiled and stepped on the gas.
It was 5:00 am the next day and the Civic was stopped at a Seven-Eleven just off Highway 81. Marcus was inside picking up some food as Lily stuck the gas pump into the dark blue Civic. She looked up and made sure no one was around or acting suspicious. Unsurprisingly, she saw nothing in the dark and deserted Seven-Eleven and shed off her worries convincing herself they had escaped.
It was nearly midnight when they arrived at Fallsview Casino. The valet parked their car and the duo proceeded to walk under the glass structure that arced over the entrance. Marcus held the door open as Lily walked through. They had gone through the painful process of creating a new bank account complete with a chequing account, a savings account, and debit and credit cards. The bank staff had been a bit suspicious but a thousand dollars had solved that problem. With their newfound wealth, they decided to spend a little to make a little. They had set aside a couple thousand dollars to have fun with the next day. But first, they needed rest. They had just committed a bank robbery and they needed sleep, desperately. Marcus checked them in and they brought their bags to the room. They set them down on the carpeted floor and collapsed onto the bed.
Lily woke up at around 6:00 pm to find a note on the bed. Marcus was out buying them some new clothes. He had left a ham sandwich and a salad on the bedside table for her. She sat up and Liberty bounded onto her lap. Lily ruffled her fur and Liberty lay down beside her. Lily grabbed the salad and turned on the T.V. It was set to a local news channel broadcasting a pie-eating competition. She watched until she finished her salad and put on a change of clothes. She walked through the halls with the sandwich in her hands. Waiting. Contemplating. Thinking. Waiting for the police to show up and rip everything she had worked for from her hands. Contemplating her choices leading up to this point. Thinking about what would happen if they got caught. She took a bite of the sandwich and looked out the window, seemingly looking for an answer to her questions. Looking for a way out of her thousand-piece-puzzle of a situation. Nobody understood. Nobody felt what she felt. She felt a tap on her shoulder as she thought all this. She turned around to see Marcus with Liberty at his feet. Nobody understood. Except for him. They walked back to the room, put away the clothes, and walked to the Casino floor.
Marcus played a few slot machines and made a couple of hundred dollars. Lily played blackjack and made a few hundred there. They were heading out for a few drinks when someone caught Lily's eye. He walked with arrogance, somehow enunciating every step he took. He wore clothes that suggested he was living an elegant lifestyle. Lily was not the only person to notice. People looked up from their games when they heard the jingle that resounded from his chain as he walked by. He took a seat at an empty poker table and reached into his pocket. Lily had already pushed her way to the table when he pulled out a metal sphere with a swiveling eye. He took it out and marvelled at it. He set it down and cleared his throat. "What I have here is a state of the art robot. However, this robot does not do what normal robots do. You know what it does?" He didn't even wait for a response and instead continued. "It plays poker!" He yelled. It was at that point that the casino security had reached the table. The stranger looked back and flashed his driver's license. That was all it took for the guards to back off. "I challenge anyone in this room to play against this robot!" he announced. He looked around to find the answer gith in front of him. Lily took a seat and rolled up her sleeves.
"Let's play."
They started slow, each only betting a couple of hundred dollars. Lily won a hand, and the robot won a hand. They traded until Lily had had enough. She lost her job to a robot. A robot had made her rob a bank. A robot was the last thing she wanted to beat her. She needed to end it. She needed to end it now. She threw her debit card onto the table. "You mind me betting a little extra?" she said. He looked into her eyes and saw the blaze behind them. He saw it and smiled. "Sure, but you're about to lose a lot of money." He snarked. The dealer handed out the cards. Lily had the eight and king of hearts. The dealer put down the flop. A seven of hearts, eight of clubs, and 3 of spades were the cards. He put down the turn and an eight of spades showed itself. "Let's skip the theatrics mister dealer, put down the last card already!" The stranger yelled. The dealer hurriedly set down the last card. An eight of diamonds. Lily showed her cards. She had a four of a kind, plus a king. That was the third-best hand she could have gotten. The stranger showed his hand. He had a four of a kind, plus an ace. He laughed and swiped the cards. Lily wrote down the P.I.N and ran away.
She ran to their room and fell face-first onto the bed. Liberty barked as she sat down at the side of the bed. Marcus entered the room with a box of tissues. She cried for a while. She cried until Marcus gave her a drink. He handed her a scotch on the rocks. She was thinking, and drinking helped her think. She thought until an idea struck her. An idea so unrealistic, it just might work. An idea that never happened, not even in the movies. She told her fiance. He said yes. They left the hotel to gather supplies. Liberty barked as she walked alongside them.
It was the next morning, and they were at the Hotel Fairmont in Toronto. Lily took a bite of her bagel as she continued counting the cash. They had split up the money into 4 bags. Marcus counted two, and Lily counted the other two. They were too busy counting to notice Liberty step on the T.V remote. It turned on and was set to a news channel. The channel cut to a shot of a building reduced to rubble. Firefighters had put on the blaze, but the whole building had collapsed. The view changed to include a sign on the ground. It read 'Hotel and Casino'. The view changed again to show the Niagara Falls behind the rubble. The view changed once more to include another sign.
This one read 'Fallsview'.

Working at a casino was not exactly #lifegoals.
But it was better, I reflected, as I glanced down at my scratchy pink poodle skirt and ankle-grinding roller skates, than being a waitress at a Fifties theme restaurant.
Anything is better than working at a theme restaurant. Believe me. If you hear ‘Fifties restaurant’ and start dreaming of Uma Thurman and John Travolta dancing with wild abandon, stop it. Tarantino lied to you. It’s just screaming children and drunk tourists, all the way down.
Which was why, when my Friday morning shift in that hell finally ended, I shrugged back into street clothes and left for my interview at the Grand Imperial Casino with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I’d hoped that by my twenty-fourth year of life, I’d be interviewing for something a bit more ambitious than blackjack dealer at the newest addition to the Las Vegas strip, but at this point I’d take what I got.
The bus ride downtown was boring, so I’ll break here to introduce myself: my name is Mika. Well, technically, my name is Miguelita Hortensia Maria Francisca de Toledo Rosario Vasquez. But that’s too long even by Mexican standards, so go ahead and call me Mika Rosario, because that’s going to save us both a bunch of time.
Yeah, you think YOU hate going to the DMV.
Anyway, today was going to be my day. I’d traded shifts with one of the other girls who owed me a favor and put up with the desperately sad crowd that wanted to eat breakfast surrounded by bored actors dressed up like extras from Grease, because this afternoon was important. This afternoon was my ticket out of the world of waitressing, even if that ticket only took me a few blocks down the road. No more poodle skirts, no more roller skates, no more children competing to see who can snort a milkshake through their nose, no more teenage boys leering at my cleavage until their eyes fell out.
I mean, I was applying to work at a casino, so I was pretty much just trading those teenage stares in for a whole new set, courtesy of a horde of middle-aged middle-managers in from the Midwest for a convention on midsize sedans, but at least it was a change. My boobs were looking forward to the variety.
So, there I was, sitting in a massive ballroom at the Grand Imperial with about four hundred other people, waiting for my name to be called. It was a nice ballroom, if nothing else, with real white linens on the tables and carpet that didn’t look like they stole the design from a Dixie cup in 1997. It ought to be nice, though, since the newspapers claimed that this place had cost over a billion dollars just to build, never mind the cost of buying out land on the Strip.
All the more reason to get my foot in the door here. If this Robbie Mo guy that came in from Macau to set up the Grand Imperial had that kind of money to throw around, then there had to be a way for me to work my way up through the ranks to where I’d get some real cash.
And no more roller skates.
“Me-gall-nita… Rose-mario?”
The call came at last and I sprang up, smiling as broadly as I knew how and ignoring the way the guy with the list butchered my name. They could call me Mud, for all I cared, so long as they got me away from Big Donny’s Roller-Diner.
The first few rounds of the mass interview were easy, to be honest. Out of all those hundreds of people massed in the ballroom, the Grand Imperial people eliminated three hundred with a simple test as to whether or not they even knew how to play blackjack, let alone deal professionally. Most of them, apparently, couldn’t even count to twenty-one.
I breezed through that round, and the two that came after it. I’d been slinging blackjack since I was eight, when my dad first set me down and made me help him practice counting cards. Carlos Rosario was a ‘professional’ gambler. Professional, in the sense that it was the only plan he ever had to make money and support his family, and ‘professional’ in the sense that he lost more than anybody I’ve ever seen, no matter how he tried to cheat.
Anyway, dealing was easy. I threw in a few flippy bits, flicking aces from one knuckle to the other before returning them to the shuffle, and dancing the spread back and forth before snapping cards out to my nonexistent players. It was simple stuff that any idiot could learn on YouTube, but the interviewers ate it up, whispering to each other like sixth-grade girls.
It was round four when everything got weird.
My first clue that I’d merged onto the highway to the crazy zone was when a man in a black suit asked me to follow him. He was tall and blond, super hot in a ‘my sense of humor was surgically replaced with a third fist’ kind of way, and he escorted me into an elevator made of mirrors without ever saying more than three words at a time. All the previous rounds of the interview had been held in partitioned temporary rooms on one side of that huge ballroom, but apparently those of us who made it to the final round got to see a nicer bit of the Grand Imperial.
That was what I thought on the elevator ride, anyway. I had no idea exactly how nice the bit I’d be seeing was until I stepped off on the 50th floor and felt my jaw drop so far that it should’ve hit the floor.
Gold. Enough gold to make the Pope blush, enough gold to buy out the king of Spain, enough gold to...I don’t even know. There was nothing I could think of buying, nothing that I could even IMAGINE, that required that much money.
It was a lot of freaking gold.
Hot Security Guy frog-marched me through Versailles 2.0 like we were walking down a blank concrete hallway instead of something out of Liberace’s nightmares, before plopping me down opposite the final interviewer.
He was Asian, probably Chinese or Japanese extraction, middle-aged and friendly-looking, like his face naturally wanted to smile. Bit of gray at his temples, bit of extra padding at the belly, but it all seemed to suit him, like he’d been destined to be that way since he was born. Somebody’s kindly grandpa, except he wasn’t old enough yet.
He didn’t say much as I ran through my dealing routine, which didn’t exactly make me happy. A bead of sweat ran down the back of my neck the moment I picked up the deck set on the desk between us, a bead that turned into a river, that turned into Niagara Falls by the time I was done. I pulled out a few extra tricks at the end, flashy little flips that I wouldn’t usually dare try with anybody watching, even palmed a joker into the deck and spun it out face-up, but it was like trying to get blood from a stone. Friendly Grandpa’s smile never so much as twitched, for good or bad.
Finally, I couldn’t take it.
“Look, that’s what I’ve got,” I vented, cascading the deck back together and slapping it down on the desk. “If you’re looking for more...frankly, I don’t know who the hell you’re looking for. Four rounds of interviews, for a job dealing blackjack? That’s just stupid.”
Uh oh.
There it went, then. My chance to bust out of the land of pink poodle skirts and greaser jackets. Great job, Mika; all you had to do was keep your mouth shut and flip the cards, but you had to let your temper get the best of you.
Then the interviewer finally spoke.
“Do you know who I am, Miss Rosario?”
I gulped.
“My new boss?” I suggested lamely, mustering up my best plucky smile.
“My name is Mo Ka-Fai,” he informed me, as I felt my blood turn to ice. “Most people around here call me Robbie.”
Robbie...Mo...
Robbie Mo.
ROBBIE FREAKING MO.
AKA the guy who owned the casino I was sitting in, plus half of the Mirage and who knew how many more in Macau. The news hadn’t stopped talking about how stupid rich he was since they first broke ground on the Grand Imperial.
“Oh,” I squeaked. So I hadn’t just mouthed off at my interviewer and tanked my chances of getting the dealer job, I’d insulted a man who could literally blackball me from the entire city of Las Vegas if he felt like it.
That was bad.
“Sorry.”
“I didn’t tell you that to spook you, Miss Rosario,” Mo announced, a sentiment that did nothing to unfreeze my spine or untwist my stomach. “That wasn’t the point. The point was to let you know that you are dealing with the person who makes decisions. A serious person. Somebody who is not in the business of making jokes or playing pranks. Is that clear to you?”
I nodded like a bobblehead doll. He wasn’t telling me to leave, at least. That had to mean I was still in the running for the job...right?
“Good,” he continued. “Jason, bring in the kittens.”
He gestured over my shoulder towards Hot Security Guy, as I felt my brow knit in confusion. Had he just said...kittens?
What?
Lo and behold, the kittens were...actual cats. HSG disappeared behind a side door, only to reappear a moment later with a cardboard box full of mewing little fluffballs in at least a dozen colors, two or three tiny heads peeking above the lip to see what was happening. The box was deposited at my feet, whereupon two dozen curious eyes blinked up at me.
“Um,” I managed, my eyebrows raised so far I felt like they were going to get lost in my hair. “What?”
“Close your eyes and pick a kitten, please,” Mo requested.
I just stared at him.
“I am aware that it sounds absurd, Miss Rosario. But this will all make sense in a moment, if things are as I suspect.”
I stared at him for another long moment, then shrugged. I liked cats just fine, and he still seemed to be considering me for the job, so...why not?
Eyes closed tight, I leaned down and worked my hands into the pile of kittens. A few nips and playful scratches later, I managed to snag one of the fluffy little things and lift it up away from its siblings.
I opened my eyes to see a pure black fuzzball sitting in my palms, staring at me with eyes as gold as the extravagant walls. He blinked a few times, looking around to see where the rest of his family had gone, then curled up with his tail over his eyes.
Mo breathed in sharply, and whispered something in a language I didn’t know, eyes widening.
“Black,” murmured Hot Security Guy. “It’s black.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied, exploring new depths of confusion. “Here, you want to hold him?”
HSG backed away like I’d offered to shoot him in the kneecap.
“N-no!” he yelped, then cleared his throat. “I mean, no thank you, Miss Rosario. Please continue the interview.”
“The straws,” hissed Mo, as I turned back to him. “Bring the straws!”
Jumping like he was scalded, HSG disappeared back into the side room and came back with a large, blue porcelain vase bristling with...were those drinking straws?
They were. Long red plastic straws, like the ones that you got at the movie theater Slushee machine, with a little spoon on the end so you could scoop up the ice bits. There were tons of them packed into the vase, so tight they barely even rustled as Hot Security Guy placed it next to the kittens.
“There are one thousand straws in that vase,” Mo told me, as if that weren’t an utterly bizarre thing to say. “Each one has a number printed on the end, one to one thousand. Do you understand?”
I nodded again, scratching the black kitten’s head absently. I was this far into what was comfortably the strangest job interview of my entire life, no point arguing over a vase full of straws.
“Good. Choose one, and read me the number, please.”
Dutifully, I shifted my new fuzzy friend into my left hand while I reached down with my right and wormed a nail into the forest of straws. It had to be some kind of eccentric rich guy thing, testing people with kittens and straws before he hired them, I decided.
“Thirteen,” I recited, reading off the tiny black number punched into the end of my straw.
Hot Security Guy literally backpedalled away from me, while Mo looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“Thirteen?” he breathed. “Are you certain? Out of one thousand straws, you picked thirteen?”
“Yep,” I confirmed, laying the straw on the table for him. “One-three. That makes thirteen to me.”
The kitten in my hand started to stretch and mew, pawing for the top of the desk and obviously yearning to explore. I lifted him up and let him clamber out of my palm, since Mo seemed more interested in staring at the little number on the straw than actually interviewing me.
The one percent is freaking weird.
“Right, Miss Rosario,” Mo finally breathed, shaking himself away from inspecting the straw and seeming to collect himself. “Right. Yes. Thank you for bearing with us. I have one more test for you.”
This time, instead of sending Hot Security Guy to fetch, he reached into the drawer of his desk and produced an finely carved set of ivory dice in a plush black velvet box.
“Roll them, please.”
I didn’t move.
“I’d rather not,” I hedged. “I deal cards. I don’t gamble.”
That was my rule. Ever since I was eleven, ever since I’d watched my father walk out of the house with all the money we’d saved for my mom’s chemo and come back with empty hands, that had been the rule.
I don’t gamble. Ever.
“I am not asking you to gamble, Miss Rosario,” Mo countered. “There is no money on the table. Just the dice. Roll them, please.”
My jaw locked up and my fingernails bit into my palm, but I forced myself to reach for the dice. There was no way I was going to avoid ever touching a set, if I intended to work in a casino. And Mo was technically right; I wasn’t betting on anything and there was no money at stake, so it wouldn’t be gambling.
Just a roll of the dice.
Breath caught in my throat, I picked up the dice, shook them once, and then dropped them like a poisonous snake.
A brief clatter, and then they came to rest, one pip glinting from each face.
One and one.
Snake eyes.
“Two,” breathed HSG. “She rolled a two. She actually rolled a-!”
“Quiet, Jason,” Mo snapped. “Again, if you please, Miss Rosario.”
He collected the dice and passed them back across the desk to me. The corner of my lip twisted in distaste, but I nevertheless accepted them, shook, and cast.
Two pips stared back at me. Snake eyes, just like before.
“Again.”
Take, shake, roll.
Two pips. Snake eyes.
“Okay, what the hell is going on?” I demanded. “First you make me go bobbing for kittens and pick out a Slushee straw, and now you’re making me roll a loaded pair of dice? Does this have anything to do with me dealing blackjack?”
“The dice are not loaded,” Mo stated, grandfatherly smile all but gone, now. “Inspect them yourself. And then roll, again.”
I retrieved the dice and rolled them through my fingers, weighing them against each other, and then froze. An electric tingle ran up my spine and down to my fingers, as I realized that Mo was on the level. I knew what trick dice felt like in my hand; my dad had made me test out the sets he carved in our garage.
These were legit.
Which meant…
I rolled the dice, flinging them hard against the table. One spun like a top, fluttering about before finally tipping over with one pip to the sky. The other skated across the desk, nearly colliding with the adventuring kitten, and flew off onto the floor.
Where it landed with one pip showing.
Snake eyes.
“Again.”
Beginning to feel extremely freaked out, I did as Mo asked, taking a new pair of dice from him and casting them across the desk.
Two pips. Snake eyes.
“Again.”
My hand shook all on its own this time, barely steady enough to hold both dice together. They toppled away from me, less a cast, and more a drop.
It didn’t matter. Twp pips glinted in the light, reflecting the golden ornamentation.
Snake eyes.
“Again.”
Again, and again, and again. Over and over, Mo made me roll the dice, and every time the result was the same: two pips. Twenty times in a row, I rolled snake eyes.
Which was, mathematically speaking, almost impossible.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked again, but this time I really, truly meant it. My voice was barely a squeak, choked by an iron bar lodged in my throat. “What does this mean?”
“It means, Miss Rosario, that you are the unluckiest person alive.”
I blinked. Even in the grip of an utter and complete confusion, I had enough of my mother’s pride left in me to be insulted.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, I mean that very literally,” Mo said, standing up from his desk and sharply correcting his suit jacket. “You, Miguelita Hortensia Maria Francisca de Toledo Rosario Vasquez, are the most unlucky human being on the planet. And that makes you extremely dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” I spluttered. “What do you mean, dangerous? How am I-?”
“We do not have time for me to answer that question,” Mo interrupted, gesturing for her to stand. “Suffice it to say that there are those of us who play probability and odds like a musician plays his instrument. And we’ve been looking for you, Miss Rosario. Looking for you for quite some time.”
I opened my mouth to demand more than that, or maybe to just sputter in wild confusion, but Mo steamrolled over me.
“Jason, call ahead to the helipad and tell them to spin up the chopper,” he ordered tersely, glancing to Hot Security Guy. “I want to be wheels up in fifteen minutes. We need to go, now.”
“Go?!” I snapped, finally untangling my tongue. “Go where?”
“To meet with Lady Luck.”

Deal Link
Just got this promo package in my mail box.
Luxury, two room suite accommodations
Complimentary cooked-to-order breakfast for your entire party
Complimentary Evening Reception including two alcoholic drinks
Your choice of dining voucher: $30 voucher for Fallsview dining at the Keg Steakhouse + Bar, $70 dining voucher at Ruth’s Chris Steak House, $30 dining voucher at Vittorio's Italian Eatery
$20 Dining Voucher at TGI Fridays Restaurant & Sports Bar
Wine Country Touring Pass including: Free tasting for Two OR Buy One, Get One Free Tour at Peller Estates and Trius Winery, Free tasting at both Wine Country Vintners locations
$25 Casino Slot voucher for Fallsview Casino or Casino Niagara
Complimentary WiFi
Attraction Admissions for up to 4 people to the Niagara Falls Fun Zone: Two Haunted Houses, Two Lazer Tags, Mini Putt Shipwreck Adventure, Mystic Maze of Mirrors, Fallsview Funhouse
BONUS: Stay June 20 or 23 and receive an additional $150 Ruth's Chris Dining Voucher

What are you most looking forward to for the month of February?
Please include links to the event info if possible.

• Fri February 1
  • 10 AM – 11:30 AM Olean Public Library Nutrition and Parenting Skills Workshop
  • 10:30 AM – 12 PM Allegany State Park Cross Country Ski Tours at Allegany State Park
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 5 PM – 9 PM Grand Slam Games & Comics Friday Night Magic - Modern
  • 7 PM – 10:30 PM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Darkwater Duo
  • 8 PM – 11 PM Union Whiskey John Grey returns to Friday night at Union Whiskey 2/1/19 at 8PM
  • 8 PM – 12 AM The Pub Karaoke Night at The Pub
  • 9:30 PM Madigan's Ellicottville NY Soular Plexus at Madigans, Eliicottville
  • 9:30 PM – 12:30 AM The City Line MMOC at City Line, Feb. 1st
  • 10 PM – 1 AM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Balloons w/ Evan Dillon (solo)
• Sat February 2
  • 6 AM – 10 PM Holiday Valley Resort Holiday Valley Ski Trip
  • 7:30 AM – 10 AM Cuba American Legion Auxiliary Post # 655 Monthly All You Can Eat Breakfast
  • 8:30 AM – 10 AM Cuba VFW Post #2721 Scout week Pancake Breakfast
  • 9 AM – 3 PM Skin Tight Studio and Salon Psychic Event
  • 9 AM – 4 PM Allegany State Park Saturday, Red House Picnic Shelter
  • 9:30 AM – 11 AM Cuba Circulating Library Pancakes & PJs
  • 10 AM - 11:30 AM Pfeiffer Nature Center Exploring Winter with Pfeiffer Nature Center
  • 10 AM – 12 PM Ischua Valley Country Club Franklinville Little League Baseball and Softball signups
  • 11 AM – 6 PM Holiday Valley Resort Holiday Valley Alumni Ski Event
  • 12 PM – 12:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Puppy Class
  • 2 PM – 2:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 2
  • 2 PM – 6 PM Eldred American Legion Post 887 Spaghetti Dinner
  • 3 PM – 3:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 1
  • 3 PM – 7 PM Ellicottville Distillery Groundhog Day at Ellicottville Distillery
  • 3:30 PM – 6 PM E-Ville Spirits and Wines Free Wine Tasting
  • 3:30 PM – 7:30 PM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino Back to Rock the River Bar!
  • 4:30 PM – 9:30 PM Eldred Borough VFD BINGO
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Adventure Bound onthefly Group Snowshoe Hike
  • 6 PM – 9:30 PM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub The Charlie Wheeler Band
  • 6 PM – 10 PM Salamanca American Legion Straight Shooter Returns to the Salamanca Legion
  • 6:30 PM – 9 PM Lewis Run Fire Dept Cabin Fever Movie Night
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga New Moon Mystic YOGA Series
  • 7 PM – 10 PM The Palmer Rescheduled: Piano Rock
  • 8:30 PM – 11:30 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Late Night Acoustic feat Brianna Blankenship and Brad Vincent
  • 9 PM – 12 AM Union Whiskey The Haight Street Gamblers wsg/ The Wonderful Operonicon 2/2/19
  • 9 PM – 1 AM St. Stephen's Club Rock The St. Stephens Club
  • 9 PM – 1 AM The Gin Mill, Ellicottville NY Hintz Of Thunder At The Gin Mill
  • 9 PM – 2 AM The City Line Karaoke Night at the City Line
  • 10 PM – 1 AM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Qwister / Winter Residency / Balloon's Back Bar / Feb 2nd
• Sun February 3
  • 8 AM – 11:30 AM Episcopal Church of the Ascension - Bradford Souper Bowl of Caring
  • 9:30 AM – 10 AM Four Mile Brewing Run Love Is One Love Pub Run
  • 10:30 AM – 1:30 PM New Life Fellowship - Bradford Football Sunday 2019
  • 12 PM – 3 PM The Spca In Cattaraugus County Valentine's Photos at the Cattaraugus Co. SPCA
  • 1 PM – 3 PM Quinn's Wake CCLP February Meeting
  • 2 PM – 4 PM The Palmer Back In The Day with Kirk McWhorter
  • 3 PM – 11 PM Players Downtown Super Bowl Party & Sunday Funday
  • 3 PM – 11 PM Villaggio Super Sunday
  • 5 PM Finnerty's Tap Room EVL’s Official Super Bowl Party
  • 5 PM – 9 PM Open Arms Community Church OA Annual Big Game Party
  • 5:45 PM Hillside Wesleyan Church Super Football Sunday
• Mon February 4
  • 10 AM – 10:30 AM Cuba Circulating Library Baby Storytime
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library Teen Craft (ages 13-18)
  • 5:03 PM – 8:03 PM Main Street Movie House Boy Erased
  • 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM Allegany State Park Allegany State Park Fat Bike Ride
  • 6:30 PM – 7:30 PM Olean Public Library Investigation Stations
  • 6:30 PM – 7:30 PM Cuba Circulating Library Anime Club
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga Prenatal Yoga and Mamas' Tea Circle
• Tue February 5
  • 10 AM – 11 AM Olean Public Library Stories and More
  • 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM University of Pittsburgh at Bradford Health Careers Job Fair
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library J-Pop Club (Ages 13-18)
  • 4:30 PM – 6 PM Allegany State Park Sunset Snowshoe Hike
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Olean Public Library Leave No Trace (Best of 2018 Film Series)
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Pitt-Bradford Arts Erth's Prehistoric Aquarium Adventure
  • 7 PM – 9 PM The Palmer Team Trivia Nght
• Wed February 6
  • 10 AM – 11 AM Olean Public Library Mother Goose Storytime
  • 12 PM – 1 PM Positive Moves Consulting Wellness Wednesday
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library Investigation Stations
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Bradford Area Public Library Evening Storytime
  • 6 PM – 7:30 PM Allegany State Park Outdoor Adventure Cross Country Ski and Social at ASP
  • 6 PM – 9 PM Union Whiskey Double Trouble ~ Dave & Andy Wednesday Feb 6th 6:00PM
  • 7 PM – 8:15 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga Wednesday Night Ashtanga Flow
• Thu February 7
  • 10 AM – 11 AM Olean Public Library Stories and Stretches
  • 12 PM – 1 PM Greater Olean Area Chamber of Commerce L&L: Self-Defense for Business People
  • 4:30 PM – 11:30 PM Bradford Travel - Niagara Scenic Tours CATS at Shea's - a Bradford Travel Motorcoach Journey
  • 5:15 PM – 7:15 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Olean Area Young Professionals' February 2019 Networking Event
  • 5:30 PM – 9 PM The Palmer Open Mic Night - Live Music
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Four Mile Brewing Science On Tap "Teaching Online at St. Bonaventure"
  • 6 PM – 7:30 PM Salamanca City Central School District 2nd Grade Concert
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Don's semi Friendly Tavern Drinks & Painting at Don's Friendly Tavern!
  • 6 PM – 8:30 PM Olean Public Library MyFreeTaxes Workshop
  • 6:30 PM – 8 PM E-Ville Spirits and Wines February Educational Wine Class
  • 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM Olean Public Library Crochet, Knitting, & Crafting Group
  • 6:30 PM – 9:30 PM Villaggio Bourbon Dinner
  • 7 PM - 8:30 PM Quick Center for the Arts St. Bonaventure Maritine Performing Art Series "Scythian"
  • 7 PM – 9:30 PM Olean Public Library Booktoberfest
  • 7 PM – 10 PM St. Bonaventure University Martine Performing Arts Series (St. Bonaventure University)
  • 7 PM – 10 PM The Beefeaters Restaurant LIVE MUSIC - 2 Guys Drinking Beer
  • 7:30 PM Olean Theatre Workshop Olean Theatre Workshop presents "Little Women"
  • 8 PM – 10 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Trivia Night w/our host Paul Hoefler
• Fri February 8
  • 8 AM – 4 PM Holiday Valley Resort Holiday Valley Mountain Ski Fest
  • 10 AM – 11:30 AM Olean Public Library Nutrition and Parenting Skills Workshop
  • 10:30 AM – 12 PM Allegany State Park Cross Country Ski Tours at Allegany State Park
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 5 PM – 9 PM Grand Slam Games & Comics Friday Night Magic - Standard
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Her House Abigail John's PartyLite Event
  • 6 PM – 9 PM John J. Ash Community Center Open Jam
  • 6 PM – 12 AM Holiday Valley Resort YSC Weekend Ski Trip: Holiday Valley
  • 7 PM – 10:30 PM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Marshmellow Overcoat
  • 7:30 PM Olean Theatre Workshop Olean Theatre Workshop presents "Little Women"
  • 10 PM – 1 AM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Last Call Duo / Balloon's Back Bar / February 8th
• Sat February 9
  • 5 AM – 4 PM Holiday Valley Resort ICSC Bus Trip to Holiday Valley
  • 8 AM – 11 AM Olean Family YMCA Dreadmill 5K
  • 8 AM – 9:30 AM Salamanca.FM Men's Breakfast
  • 8:30 AM – 10 AM Hillside Wesleyan Church Men's Breakfast
  • 8:30 AM Holiday Valley Resort YSC Weekend Ski Trip: Holiday Valley
  • 9 AM – 1 PM St. Bonaventure HEOP HEOP Professional/Alumni Luncheon
  • 9 AM – 4 PM Allegany State Park Saturday, Red House Picnic Shelter
  • 9:30 AM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino National Recording Artist JB Aaron At Seneca Allegany Casino
  • 11 AM – 2 PM Ellicottville, New York Trail #436 - SKASH
  • 12 PM – 12:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Puppy Class
  • 12 PM – 11 PM Bradford Vets Club Vet Jam 2019
  • 1 PM – 2 PM Bradford Vets Club Second Act
  • 1 PM – 4 PM Seneca-Iroquois National Museum Hand Drum Contest
  • 2 PM – 2:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 2
  • 3 PM – 3:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 1
  • 3:30 PM – 6 PM E-Ville Spirits and Wines Free Wine Tasting
  • 4 PM – 7 PM 25 S Main St Portville Fire Department Steak Bake
  • 5 PM – 8 PM Bartlett Country Club Love (and Music) is in the Air
  • 5 PM – 9 PM Moonwinks Restaurant and Lounge Sweetheart STEAK BAKE
  • 6 PM – 9:30 PM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Rebecca and the Soul Shakers
  • 6 PM – 10 PM Madigan's Ellicottville NY The RiG at Madigan's
  • 7 PM St. Stephen's Club Live Music with Straight Shooters
  • 7 PM Finnerty's Tap Room The Jay McDonnell Duo comes to FTR!
  • 7 PM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino Chicks with Hits: Terri Clark, Pam Tillis & Suzy Bogguss
  • 7 PM – 10 PM Salamanca, New York Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino Event Center
  • 7:30 PM Olean Theatre Workshop Olean Theatre Workshop presents "Little Women"
  • 8:30 PM – 11:30 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Late Night Acoustic feat The Chumps
  • 9 PM – 11 PM The Beefeaters Restaurant Comedy Night - Afterwords Club at Beefeaters
  • 9 PM – 11:59 PM Union Whiskey Those Guys at Union Whisky
  • 9 PM – 1 AM Hickey Tavern Rockabilly Steve And BR3 Return To The Hickey Tavern!
  • 9 PM – 2 AM The City Line Karaoke Night at the City Line
• Sun February 10
  • 8:30 AM – 9:45 PM Holiday Valley Resort YSC Weekend Ski Trip: Holiday Valley
  • 9 AM – 12:30 PM Bradford Area Lions Club Rotary Club of Bradford Pancake Breakfast
  • 10 AM – 4 PM Save a Lot Baked Goods Sale
  • 12 PM – 4 PM Marilla Reservoir 2019 Marilla Winter Trek
  • 2 PM Olean Theatre Workshop Olean Theatre Workshop presents "Little Women"
  • 2 PM – 4 PM The Palmer I love That Good Old Rock & Roll
• Mon February 11
  • 7 AM – 3 PM Salamanca City Central School District Winter Weekend 2019
  • 10 AM – 10:30 AM Cuba Circulating Library Baby Storytime
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 2 PM – 3:30 PM Olean Public Library Craft Class: How to Bend Wire
  • 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM Main Street Movie House Widows
  • 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM Allegany State Park Allegany State Park Fat Bike Ride
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga Prenatal Yoga and Mamas' Tea Circle
• Tue February 12
  • 7 AM – 3 PM Salamanca City Central School District Winter Weekend 2019
  • 4:30 PM – 6 PM Allegany State Park Sunset Snowshoe Hike
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Olean Public Library First Reformed (Best of 2018 Film Series)
  • 6:30 PM – 9:30 PM Otto-EldredElementarySchool February School Board Meeting
• Wed February 13
  • 7 AM – 3 PM Salamanca City Central School District Winter Weekend 2019
  • 10:30 AM – 2:30 PM Christ United Methodist Church, Olean Community Social Respite-Olean
  • 12 PM – 1 PM Positive Moves Consulting Wellness Wednesday
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library Rainbow Alliance
  • 5 PM John William's European Pastry Shop John William's European Pastry Shop bake and take party
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Bradford Area Public Library Best Baby Playgroup
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Bradford Area Public Library Evening Storytime
  • 6 PM – 7:30 PM Salamanca City Central School District All Chorus Concert (Grades 4-12)
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Salamanca City Central School District Staff vs. Sheriff Basketball Game
  • 7 PM – 8:15 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga Wednesday Night Ashtanga Flow
• Thu February 14
  • 7 AM – 3 PM Salamanca City Central School District Winter Weekend 2019
  • 8:30 AM – 4:30 PM HomeCare & Hospice 2019 Spring Bouquet Sale
  • 9 AM – 12 PM Olean Family YMCA Swizzy's Cause: Love Yourself - You Matter Event
  • 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM The Beefeaters Restaurant Jared Hill - Dinner Music on Piano
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Olean Family YMCA Movie Night at the Y
  • 6:30 PM – 8 PM Olean Public Library Galentine's Day Celebration
  • 7 PM – 10 PM The Beefeaters Restaurant LIVE MUSIC - Mick & Rick
• Fri February 15
  • 7 AM – 3 PM Salamanca City Central School District Winter Weekend 2019
  • 9 AM – 5 PM Holimont Ski Resort Ellcotville, New York Annual Ski Outing
  • 9:30 AM – 4:20 PM HoliMont CEL Ski Day
  • 10 AM – 11:30 AM Olean Public Library Nutrition and Parenting Skills Workshop
  • 10:30 AM – 12 PM Allegany State Park Cross Country Ski Tours at Allegany State Park
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 5 PM – 7:30 PM Olean Coffee Co-op Open Forum/Open Mic
  • 5 PM – 9 PM Grand Slam Games & Comics Friday Night Magic - Standard
  • 7 PM – 9 PM The Palmer Forever Plaid
  • 7 PM – 10:30 PM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Black Widow
  • 8 PM – 12 AM The Pub Karaoke Night at The Pub
  • 9 PM – 1:45 AM Corner Bar & Restaurant Bradford Winter BASH! 9pm at The Corner Bar (UPSTAIRS)
  • 10 PM – 1 AM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Owen Eichensehr / Balloon's Back Bar / February 15th
• Sat February 16
  • 9 AM – 4 PM Allegany State Park Saturday, Red House Picnic Shelter
  • 12 PM – 1 PM Bradford Area Public Library Blending East and West - A better way to Health & Wellness
  • 12 PM – 1:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Puppy Class
  • 1 PM – 6 PM Grand Slam Games & Comics Ravnica Weekend: Ravnica Allegiance
  • 2 PM – 2:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 2
  • 3 PM – 3:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 1
  • 5:30 PM – 9:30 PM Madigan's Ellicottville NY Q Phunk Live at Madigans
  • 6 PM – 9:30 PM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub B.D. Lenz Trio
  • 7 PM – 9 PM The Palmer Forever Plaid
  • 7 PM – 10 PM The Hinsdale House Restoration Project Public Ghost Hunt - Hinsdale House W/ Amy Perry Lane
  • 8 PM – 11 PM Villaggio Jessika & The Feels Live At Villaggio!
  • 8:30 PM – 11:30 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Late Night Acoustic feat Jim Ronan & Jim Copeland
  • 9 PM – 12 AM Ellicottville Brewing Company MWA
  • 9 PM – 2 AM The City Line Karaoke Night at the City Line
  • 11 PM Bradford, Pennsylvania Bradford Women's March
• Sun February 17
  • 11:30 AM – 2:30 PM Villaggio Rock Autism Brunch
  • 2 PM – 4 PM The Palmer Forever Plaid
  • 3 PM - 4:30 PM Quick Center for the Arts Friends of Good Music presents "Ebony and Ivory" with the WNY Chamber Orchestra
  • 5 PM – 8 PM Ellicottville Brewing Company Tim Britt
• Mon February 18
  • 10 AM – 12 PM Neighborhood School of Dance Dracula's Resort Camp!
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM Main Street Movie House The Mule
  • 7 PM – 9 PM The Palmer Deconstructing The Beatles
• Tue February 19
  • 11 AM – 10 PM Little Caesars Pizza Little Caesar’s Pizza Fundraiser
  • 12:30 PM – 1:30 PM Olean Public Library Brown Bag Book Club - “Close Enough to Touch" by Colleen Oakley
  • 1 PM – 4 PM The Palmer Talk of The Town
  • 4:30 PM – 6 PM Allegany State Park Sunset Snowshoe Hike
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Olean Public Library BlacKkKlansman (Best of 2018 Film Series)
• Wed February 20
  • 12 PM – 1 PM Positive Moves Consulting Wellness Wednesday
  • 5 PM – 8 PM Cuba VFW Post #2721 Chicken and Biscuit Dinner
  • 5:30 PM – 7 PM Olean Public Library Board of Trustees Meeting
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Bradford Area Public Library Evening Storytime
  • 6:30 PM – 8 PM Olean Public Library Shelf Space Book Club- The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss
• Thu February 21
  • 10 AM – 5 PM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino Seneca Allegany Casino
  • 6 PM – 9 PM 23 E Washington St, Bradford, PA 16701-1232, United States Paint your Pet Portrait
  • 7 PM – 10 PM The Beefeaters Restaurant LIVE MUSIC - Ronan & Copeland with Kylie Geci
  • 7:30 PM – 9:30 PM Don's semi Friendly Tavern Don's Semi-Friendly Open Mic
  • 8 PM – 10 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Trivia Night w/our host Paul Hoefler
• Fri February 22
  • 9:21 AM – Feb 23 777 Seneca Allegany Blvd OVN Vet Village Project
  • 10 AM – 11:30 AM Olean Public Library Nutrition and Parenting Skills Workshop
  • 10:30 AM – 12 PM Allegany State Park Cross Country Ski Tours at Allegany State Park
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library Around the World
  • 5 PM – 9 PM Grand Slam Games & Comics Friday Night Magic - Standard
  • 6 PM – 9 PM Olean Coffee Co-op Those Guys, Kirk Windus, & Taylor Brinker
  • 6 PM – 9 PM Cuba First Baptist Church Glow Party
  • 6 PM – Feb 23 9 PM Ellicottville, New York Winter Music Jam
  • 6:30 PM – 9 PM Hillside Wesleyan Church Women's Winter Warm and Fuzzies
  • 7:30 AM – 9 PM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino Seneca Allegany's Snocross National 2019
  • 8 PM – 11 PM Ellicottville Brewing Company PA Line
  • 8 PM – 12 AM The Pub Karaoke Night at The Pub
  • 8 PM – Feb 24 Tiffany's Cabaret Salamanca Official Snocross After Party
  • 10 PM – 1 AM Balloons Restaurant & Nightclub Paul Hoefler / Balloon's Back Bar / February 22nd
  • 10 PM – 2 AM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino PassionWorks@Seneca Allegany Casino
• Sat February 23
  • Ellicottville, New York Winter Music Jam
  • 5:30 AM – 11:30 PM Holiday Valley Resort YSC Day Trip: Holiday Valley
  • 7:30 AM – 9 PM Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino Seneca Allegany's Snocross National 2019
  • 9 AM – 4 PM Allegany State Park Saturday, Red House Picnic Shelter
  • 9 AM – 6 PM Forness Park Todd Briggs 2nd Annual Coed Winter Mush ball Tourney
  • 10 AM – 3 PM Holiday Valley Resort 2019 Penguin Paddle
  • 12 PM – 1:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Puppy Class
  • 1 PM – 4 PM HoliMont FrostyCX 19
  • 1 PM – 9 PM Bradford Vets Club Her Fight is Our Fight
  • 1:30 PM – 3 PM Olean Public Library Beach Party Bash!
  • 2 PM – 2:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 2
  • 3 PM – 4:50 PM Heart Shaped Paws Dog Training Group Basic Obedience Level 1
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Adventure Bound onthefly Group Snowshoe Hike
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Holiday Valley Resort Intense Milk Rail Jams
  • 7 PM – 10 PM The Palmer The Larry Lewicki Band
  • 8 PM – 11 PM Ellicottville Brewing Company IOT
  • 8 PM – 12 AM The Edge, Bradford Those Guys LIVE at The Edge!
  • 8:30 PM – 11:30 PM Hammer Back Bar & Grill Late Night Acoustic feat Jamie F. Ervay
  • 9 PM – 1 AM The Halfway Inn Bar & Grill Witch Hazel ROCKEN Olean, NY Feb 23
  • 9 PM – 2 AM The City Line Karaoke Night at the City Line
• Sun February 24
  • 1 PM – 3 PM The Palmer 2019 Bridal Expo
• Mon February 25
  • 10 AM – 10:30 AM Cuba Circulating Library Baby Storytime
  • 11 AM – 12 PM Bradford Area Public Library Story Seekers
  • 2 PM – 3:30 PM Olean Public Library Craft Triage
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Bradford Area Public Library Creative Share
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Cuba Circulating Library Journaling Club
  • 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM Allegany State Park Allegany State Park Fat Bike Ride
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Cuba Circulating Library Journaling Club
  • 6:30 PM – 7:30 PM Olean Public Library Investigation Stations
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga Prenatal Yoga and Mamas' Tea Circle
  • 7 PM – 8 PM Cuba Circulating Library PRISM
• Tue February 26
  • 10 AM – 11 AM Olean Public Library Stories and More
  • 4 PM – 5 PM Bradford Area Public Library Chess Club
  • 4:30 PM – 6 PM Allegany State Park Sunset Snowshoe Hike
  • 6 PM – 8 PM Olean Public Library Bohemian Rhapsody (Best of 2018 Film Series)
• Wed February 27
  • 10 AM – 11 AM Olean Public Library Stories and Stretches
  • 10 AM – 11 AM Olean Public Library Mother Goose Storytime
  • 12 PM – 1 PM Positive Moves Consulting Wellness Wednesday
  • 12:30 PM – 1:30 PM Olean Public Library Book Chat
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library Investigation Stations
  • 3:30 PM – 4:30 PM Olean Public Library Rainbow Alliance
  • 5 PM – 7 PM Olean Family YMCA Business After Hours
  • 6 PM – 7 PM Bradford Area Public Library Evening Storytime
  • 6 PM – 9 PM Union Whiskey Union Whiskey, Olean NY
  • 7 PM – 8:15 PM Lavender Lotus Yoga Wednesday Night Ashtanga Flow
• Thu February 28
  • 3:45 PM – 4:45 PM Olean Public Library Crafternoon (ages 6-14)
  • 6:30 PM – 7:30 PM Cuba Circulating Library Grown-Up Gaming
  • 7 PM Cuba Police Department Cuba Police Department

So i thought since i went to UGC Niagara i would write a review on the experiences i had in Niagara.
WARNING i will be talking about my WHOLE experience in Niagara covering everything from hotel, food and entertainment.
DAY 1
So for this trip i went to Niagara with 3 of my friends, friend A was just getting into competitive cod and friend P was just there to have some fun. We get on the greyhound bus to Niagara and the bus was pretty comfortable. we reach Niagara within 1.5 hours, and we immediately took a taxi to Best Western Fallsview which was the place we were staying at. checked in with no problems, the hotel was okay(pillows were not comfortable whatsoever). we go to eat at TGI Fridays(10 min walk) and i see Teepee and Mr. X sitting at the bar area.
Soooooo i was super suprised as to how DIFFERENT they looked IRL compared to streams and youtube videos. i didn't bring anything with me so i didn't bother getting anything signed yet, so we just walk to the venue 3 hours later and everyone was standing outside and cops were all over the streets. As soon i saw one police car i was telling my friends about what happened at umg philly. we get back into the venue within 10 mins of waiting and we sit down to watch some matches. the first day was pretty lackluster BUT my friend did get his salami signed by crimsix LOLOL.
https://twitter.com/OdysseyofLP/status/462434179104657408 On our way back we eat at shoeless joes which was right next to casino and a nightclub near four points sheraton(too bad i'm 18).
DAY 2
We eat at subway(of course i got it TOOOASTED) and go straight to the venue. we woke up late so we missed the optic vs vvv match. i get my ghosts cd case signed by the crimbot and get a nice picture with him. my friend was struggling with the camera on my iphone and crim had an awkward chuckle and he was probably just thinking "haha puny humans don't know how to take a picture". crim was a super nice dude and all but as you would expect he was pretty awkward lol. we saw a couple of matches and we leave to go eat at clifton hill(had to take a cab, cost about 9 dollars from the venue). we had fun at the wizards golf, mirror maze and the arcade. we go eat at tgi fridays and just get back to our hotel.
DAY 3
This was by far the most entertaining day of the tournament.We eat at IHOP for breakfast(food was good, had to wait a LONG time). we miss the first match in optic vs coL because of the food delays, but we got there just in time to see karma kill scump w/ a pistol. then as soon as teep gets his 1v3 clutch the crowd just EXPLODES. there was a teepee fan crew that was cheering for anything amazing teep did. one thing i noticed is the crowd is WAY louder in person than in streams. once the match was over my friends go to play the raffle for charity, you could buy tickets and search for the numbers on the wall(this was so time consuming but i heard they made an app where you could type the numbers in to see if you won anything). friend A spent $90 and won a xbox one beanie(too bad he doesn't have an xbox one) and friend P spent $110 and won a xbox one hardened edition and 2 posters(too bad he doesn't have a xbox one either lol).
We got to meet teepeecod and he was super nice as you would expect. also met coLKarma and he was really funny IRL. we go to get some food and we see clay and proofy and they were super nice as well( this is a recurring theme amongst all pros and casters). we watch the finals and crim's 7 piece got the MOST hype ever out of the crowd. after the first bo5 was over against nV i got a picture with my favorite player, PATTYCACHES. Once the finals were over it was the best time to get pictures with the players. i got a picture with GoldenboyFTW and he was probably the nicest person at the venue. he was so personable and kept the conversation going. my friends who are getting into comp cod are goldenboy's biggest fans now :D. I also got a picture with aches, karma and coLMrX after we went to goldenboy. friend P who won the hardened edition ghost got mr.x signature on the other side of the box. mr.x was in fact the 2nd signature on the box, and aches made a funny comment when he was asked to sign saying "oh i thought you were JUST a fan of coaches haha". i also got a picture with merk who is my favorite player from nV. we leave the venue after, grab some food and head back home.
OVERALL
The event itself gets a 7/10 because during snd matches they had to lower the volumes of casters making it barely audible for the audience. they did this because players didn't have soundproof headsets. the people at the venue were super nice and food was always accessible. there was a lot of hype in the crowd which made the atmosphere even more amazing. if you add all the experiences, food and entertainment into the score i would give it a 8.5/10. still sad that i couldn't meet NotTheFakeJKap, crs burnsoff, killa and nadeshot(OMG aren't coL fans suppposed to hate nadeshot?).
EDIT:forgot to mention i met tmartn, he was an awesome dude.
PROOF that i was indeed at the event:
https://twitter.com/OutOfCurry/status/462693681389404161

Niagara Falls is one of the world’s most famous waterfalls. Millions come to see the Falls every year. It is perfect for a family vacation, a romantic getaway, or a group outing.
Across North America, for many families, Niagara Falls has become a yearly vacation destination.
Niagara Falls can be viewed from its two namesake towns on the Canadian and US sides. The view from Niagara Falls, Canada is better and it also has more activities/attractions for tourists.
Niagara Falls – A Natural Wonder of the World
This geological wonder was formed about 12,000 years ago by retreating glaciers and erosion. The spectacular sight of Niagara Falls leaves visitors awestruck. Visiting Niagara Falls is a once in a lifetime experience.
The Niagara Falls is made up of 3 waterfalls - American, Bridal Veil and Horseshoe Falls. The best view of Niagara Falls is from Niagara Parkway, a road that runs parallel to the Niagara River.
For a closer view of the Falls, visitors can go on the Hornblower Niagara Cruise, which takes them to the basin of Horseshoe Falls.
Where to stay in Niagara Falls, Canada?
Hotel accommodations are costliest during peak tourist season, which is June-August. A wide range of accommodations is available in Niagara Falls, Canada. There are resorts, upscale hotels, motels, campgrounds, bed & breakfasts, inns, vacation rentals and budget hotels.
Popular Attractions in Niagara Falls Canada
Some of the must-see attractions in Niagara Falls, Canada are:
• Hornblower Niagara Cruises • Journey behind the Falls • Queen Victoria Park • Botanical Gardens and Butterfly Conservatory • Niagara Whirlpool • White Water Walk • Niagara SkyWheel & other places in Clifton Hill • Adam Beck Power Plant • Skylon Tower • Niagara Daredevil Museum • Niagara Falls Illumination
Popular Places near Niagara Falls, Canada
There are many places surrounding Niagara Falls Canada that are also scenic, full of history and has many interesting sights. If you are in Niagara Falls, Canada for more than a day, you can visit Niagara-on-the-Lake, St. Catharines, Port Dalhousie, and Fort Erie.
Niagara-on-the-Lake has many award-winning wineries and vineyards that offer a tour of their property and wine tasting too! Chocolate FX is a delightful place to visit.
Niagara Falls Canada – A Family Vacation Destination
Niagara Falls has many activities for families. There are museums, waterparks, zoos, boat tours, eateries, etc.
Some places you can visit with your family are: • Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum • Queen Victoria Park • Bird Kingdom • Fallsview Indoor Waterpark • Niagara SkyWheel • Hershey’s Chocolate World Niagara Falls • Butterfly Conservatory • Marineland of Canada • Great Canadian Midway • Americana Indoor Waterpark • Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks • Whirlpool Jet Boat Tours …….and more!
Niagara Falls Canada – Things To Do For Adults
The Niagara region is famous for its wines. Couples/adults can tour wineries dotting the Niagara Peninsula.
Niagara Falls has a vibrant nightlife with many pubs, nightclubs, and gourmet restaurants. There is also Casino Niagara, Niagara Fallsview Casino, spas, fine dining restaurants, and theatres.
Niagara Falls Canada is the perfect vacation destination for everyone!

Roger Hodgson, legendary vocalist and singer-songwriter from Supertramp, is heading back to North America for a series of fall dates. Following extensive tours of Europe and South America, Hodgson kicks off his North American tour on Nov. 4th in Wabash, Indiana.
Hodgson co-founded the progressive rock band Supertramp in 1969 and was with them for 14 years. He helped define a generation of progressive rock and wrote and sang Supertramp’s globally successful and enduring anthems such as “Breakfast in America,” “Give a Little Bit,” “Take the Long Way Home,” “The Logical Song,” “Dreamer,” “It's Raining Again,” “School,” and “Fool's Overture” – songs that helped the band sell well over 60 million albums.
Hodgson is recognized as one of the most gifted composers and lyricists of our time. He has twice been recognized by ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers) for his songs being in the top played songs in their repertory, proving that they have indeed stood the test of time.
Accompanied by a four-piece band, Roger continues to perform all his hits that he recorded with Supertramp plus other classics - such as “Child of Vision,” “Hide in Your Shell,” “Sister Moonshine,” “Even in the Quietest Moments,” plus favorites from his solo albums - “Only Because of You,” “Lovers in the Wind,” and “In Jeopardy” - many of which can be found on his current CD release, Classics Live.
Uniting generations, Hodgson is transporting baby boomers back to their youth while giving younger concertgoers a taste of why his heartfelt songs have endured. North American audiences are once again preparing to experience the magic and spirit that Hodgson created with Supertramp.
Roger Hodgson North American Tour Dates:
November 4 - Wabash, IN - Honeywell Center
November 6 - Detroit, MI - MotorCity Casino Hotel
November 7 - Niagara Falls, NY - Seneca Niagara Falls Casino and Resort
November 8 - Ridgefield, CT - Ridgefield Playhouse
November 9 - Bethlehem, PA - Sands Bethlehem Event Center
November 11 - Huntington, NY - The Paramount
November 14 & 15 - Rama, ON - Casino Rama – On Sale August 20
“Remarkably, the humble musical legend is back and his signature voice sounds stronger than ever… to see and hear Roger Hodgson in concert today is simply to experience a sort of musical homecoming.” Rolling Stone
“This is the real deal: a legendary music man, in brilliant form and shimmering presence, supported by a tight, terrific band. An evening with Roger Hodgson will raise your standards of concert-going.” Huffington Post
“Beautiful. That’s the word that just keeps popping into your head when watching Roger Hodgson perform. Whether it’s the melodic complexity of his songs, the harmonies he weaves with his band, the lyrics that sweep you away or his ability to still command the incredible upper range of his voice…” Classic Rock Music Examiner
Check out his latest release, ‘Classics Live’. This spectacular collection of Roger’s hit songs from concerts recorded around the world is available through his Store and iTunes.
Enjoy this video montage of Hodgson performing some of his timeless classics.
For more information, visit the Tour page on Hodgson’s Website or Events on his Facebook page.
For additional information on Roger Hodgson, visit his Bio.
www.RogerHodgson.com
www.Facebook.com/RogerHodgson
www.Twitter.com/RogerHodgson
www.Youtube.com/RogerHodgson
www.Instagram.com/RogerHodgson