Free Casino Invitations Templates to customize Canva

casino kitty party invitations

casino kitty party invitations - win

Definitely a horror story, but who is at fault?

So, as a preface, I cuss a lot irl and that may come out here. Any grammatical errors are my own.
Cast:
Leela: Tiefling Bard-barian, CG, trans woman that has long made her money as a courtesan to the Guild. Jerry: Dragonborn Sorco-din, LG, Soldier background. Korpus: Half-Elf War Cleric/Ranger, CN, child of formerly powerful, now dead family (killed by assumed BBEG), self-proclaimed black market god. DM: First-timer; super permissive; allows players to explore the world at will; gold-rich, inflated economy; near-zero magic loot, but buyable enchantments; remarkably friendly dragons.
World: 5e based homebrew in a world with seven islands based on the seven deadly sins.
To open, Leela had to miss half of the first session, so DM made her a near-death mass huddled on an abandoned beach on the island of Envy, which the other players loaded into a cart pulled by a frog-man companion of Jerry. Jerry and Korpus come across a town populated primarily by elves, with a few half-elf slaves, and Korpus proceeds to try and intimidate a shopkeeper into selling him the entire shop for 50 gold. It doesn't work. He insists that he be allowed to roll again. it still doesn't work. Jerry lights something on fire to attempt to itimidate the shopkeeper, but he crit fails and the entire shop burns down, loot and all. They get an inn for the night, and in the morning Leela is awake.
She explains how she came to be half-dead on the beach, thanks Jerry and Korpus for their help, and all decide to travel together. Korpus goes to the shopkeeper and offers to buy the now-ruined shop for 20 gold. The shopkeeper agrees. Korpus finds two fishing poles, and the group goes fishing.
After catching frankly way more fish than was reasonable, the group goes back to town. they sell their fish at the inn, and Korpus announces that he has intimidated the innkeeper into selling him an unused portion of the building to build a restaurant, with gold he (as he claimed) borrowed from Leela. Leela says if she's loaning him the gold, she wants part ownership. Korpus agrees, and Leela goes on a small solo sidequest to find someone to cook in the restaurant. During her two-day absence, without the other PC's knowing about it, Korpus quietly builds an entire network of tunnels under the inn/restaurant, connected to the city sewer, using another half elf that he has taken as his slave, who knows Move Earth.
Leela brings back the cook, and old halfling woman with an affinity for cats and poor eyesight. Grandma, as she calls herself, takes a shining to Jerry immediately, calling him "scaly kitty", and gives him a magic stew that restores all health and removes all ill effects. Jerry shares with Leela and Korpus, and the stew is given a two day expiry period.
The following day, the group heads off for the big city. In this city is a Thieves Guild chapterhouse, an arena, some shops, and a casino. On the outskirts of the city, there is a large bay with a shipping port. Jerry goes to the port to order a ship, Korpus goes to the bar to spread rumors about the Thieves' Guild, and Leela runs off to the casino after buying all of the alchemists' potions. At the bar, Korpus is having no luck; as a newcomer, no one cares what he has to say. Jerry orders his ship, is given a seven day wait, and heads to the casino. At the casino, Leela is losing low-stakes games and drinking for free when the owner takes a liking to her. He makes suggestive comments, she tells him "You wouldn't know what to do with a girl like me", he offers her a tour, she accepts.
Korpus declares he's at the casino, walks up to interrupt Leela's tour, and starts trying to schmooze the owner. Fuckbox McDashing, the owner, doesn't take kindly to having his time wasted, and has Korpus thrown out. Korpus shouts that he evaded them, DM asks him what he rolled, Korpus says he rolld a 20 in acro. DM asks for a stealth roll, and Korpus announces a 19. DM says this passes on three guards but fails on the fourth due to rolling a 20. Korpus says he has a modifier he forgot to add, bringing his total to 22. DM says he passes, and Korpus approaches Fuckbox again. He rolls to pursuade Fuckbox not to toss him out again, and succeeds. He begins a monologue about how he's an up-and-comer in the criminal underworld, working to overtake and subsequently defeat Furless, the guy that killed his family and who currently holds major power in the Thieves' Guild. Fuckbox's eyes glaze over, and he resumes his conversation with Leela, who he knows by reputation from the Guild. They end up talking business, and finish up right about when Korpus ends his monologue. Fuckbox asks him plainly what exactly he wants, and Korpus begins another monologue about the world he envisions when he takes down the Thieves' Guild and replaces it with his own system. Fuckbox, sick of his shit by now, cuts him off and says "I don't care what you have to say, I what to know what you want from me. Korpus goes off into another monologue about how, with Fuckbox's support, he could bring about a new age of profit and success for the whole world.
Fuckbox chuckles lightly and invites Korpus and Leela to attend the arena fights as his guests. Upon arrival, Fuckbox walks up to the reserved viewing box, and steps up to the microphone; he announces to the crowd: "I'm happy to present to you the Nth annual Thieves' Guild Tournament; anyone may enter, only one can win!!!"
Korpus uses this opportunity to, once again, monologue. (Sweet Carol, Mother of Gob, Korpus monologues a LOT) He goes on about how he will go fight in the arena, and then Fuckbox will have to agree that he's better than the Guild and support him. Fuckbox casually informs him that the arena is for hand-to-hand combat, and no armor is allowed. Korpus, level 3 at this point, takes this as a challenge.
Korpus does remarkably well in his solo tournament, and returns to Fuckbox. Fuckbox is impressed, both with Korpus' success, and his ability to entirely not notice the Fuckbox is involved with the Guild and unwilling to break his loyalty.
Korpus and Leela leave the arena, Jerry following behind, and begin the trek back to the first town. Upon arrival, the group arrives to find that one of the slaves is hanging from an arch in the town square by her wrists, being beaten. Three other slaves waited, bound, clearly destined for the same fate. Leela and Jerry jumped into action, stopping the townspeople from beating the girl, and making an impassioned plea that they let the slaves go. Eventualy, the townspeople agree to pay the half-elves a wage and give them days off.
Following a few sessions of small skirmishes where Korpus is doing suspiciously well, and some straight RP wherein Korpus is rolling a ton of checks to build his guild, and Leela schmoozes a few dragons ito entrusting their eggs to her for safe-keeping, the group decides to leave the island. As they sail away on Jerry's ship, the party hears an explosion and the entire island is covered with foggy purple smoke. Korpus believes that this is the work of the Thieves' Guild. Jerry and Leela know that it isn't, but neither knows that the other knows.
Upon arrival at the island of Greed, the group finds a town where everyone is missing their left pinky. They investigate and find a beholder, and a cult that worships it. Korpus gets a stealth attack, and nearly takes out the beholder with his custom-enchanted bow. While Jerry deals with some cultists fairly handily, Leela finishes off the beholder with a jump attack. They return to town, pronounce the people saved, and are summarily rewarded. While the guys are in town reveling in their parade, Leela goes off to explore. She finds a small village of kobolds, and convinces them that she runs a dragon daycare. They decide to accompany her, and they all return to town. the townspeople take exception to Leela bringng kobolds into town, so she sends them back to the ship.
Korpus gets word that BBEG is on the island of Pride, and decides that's where we're headed next. The rest of the party, sensing some end-of-campaign vibes, wants to explore the rest of the world. Korpus asks th DM what he has to roll to go to Pride, and being new, the DM let him roll pursuasion with no saving rolls on the part of the other players. Jerry decides to go along with it, having plans of his own.
So the party arrives at the island of Pride and is immediately presented with Furless. Korpus and Jerry are the first to greet him, and Jerry casually stabs him dead. Oops, turns out Furless is just a regular guy. The party goes off to the arena on Pride, and decides to join in the 3v3 tournament. The first round goes well, the second is rough, and the third nearly kills Leela but she's healed. In the finals, a new element is added; a runic ring around the arena, spelling out 'fuck u'.
This spell ring prevents Korpus from opening dimension portals, and prevents healing spells from working. Suddenly, Jerry is transported out of the ring, and takes his place standing atop the VIP box. He announces that he has become a lich, and he has been amassing a horde of undead to take over the entire world; the party can join, or they can die. Korpus, with his endgame reached (Furless being dead), agrees to join. Leela also agrees to join.
Campaign over.
Now, postgame, Jerry is disappointed by the lack of fight from the rest of the party; Leela feels like she was railroaded by Korpus' constant insistence and the DM's permissiveness with him, she says it's bullshit that she didn't get to exlore any of her clearly relevant backstory; the DM is disappointed that Jerry and Leela are dissatisfied; Korpus is perfectly happy and refuses to accept any resposibility for whining his way into a "main character" slot, blaming the DM for allowing it.
This happened a few years ago, and some of the players refuse to play together at all anymore. It isn't my own story, and I've done what I can to tell the story as impartially as possible. I don't know exactly who the horror story is here, and I'm not privvy to the private conversations between the DM and each individual player during the campaign, so I don't know what happened behind the scenes.
submitted by Im_going_to_allow to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]

SHOT 2017/My tales of adventure in Las Vegas

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
submitted by FirearmConcierge to guns [link] [comments]

WEEKLY EVENTS 4/1 – 4/11

Saturday is Springtime Tallahassee. Here’s all the info on performers, schedule, etc. I used to throw the greatest parade parties.
This is Tallahassee Music Week and you can find a list of all the events right here, although many are listed on this page as well.
Next weekend is The Word of the South Festival. Look here for details and schedules. Musicians and writers performing for free at Cascades Park. Joan Osbourne, Lisa Loeb, Cap 6, The Currys, and a bunch of other stuff.
Tally’s Independent Cinema and Theater Offerings:
ALSO:
SATURDAY 4/1
SUNDAY 4/2
  • Fifth & Thomas: Jazz Brunch. “Enjoy brunch listening to the smooth jazz sounds from Shanice Richards & The Tenbusch Trio! $15 bottomless mimosas and kids eat free (with the purchase of an adult entree).” 10am-2pm
  • Art Alley on Gaines: 100 TPC Soapbox. “We invite poets, writers and performance artists of all styles and experience to stop by, step up and speak out on the 100TPC Soapbox in the Art Alleys! A public and safe space to share your voice!” 2pm-5pm
  • Centrale Pizza Parm and Bar: Oysters, Champagne and Live Music with WilloW. 10am-4pm
  • St. Louis Catholic Church: Sung Latin Mass - Fifth Sunday of Lent. “The liturgy will be entirely Gregorian-chanted in Latin, with easy-to-follow translations of the Mass texts provided for those who do not have their own pew missals.” 10:30am
  • Nefertaris: Latrío. Noon-1pm
  • The Wilbury: Fuzzzy Nickels Brunch. “Vibe out to the sounds of soul, funk, R&B, lo-fi and experimental hip-hop. Good food. Good drinks. Good tunes to dance to.” 2pm-5pm
  • StorQuest Self Storage: Tallahassee Area Foster and Adoptive Parent Association’s Storage Unit Open House. “We are reducing the inventory in our storage unit. Please come "shopping" on Sunday April 2nd from 2-5pm. Items are available to fosteadoptive parents and other substitute caregivers. The address is 2401 Barcelona Lane, Tallahassee. Drive around to the back of the building. Our unit is located inside the first set of glass doors. Knock loudly or call 850-325-0494.” 2pm-5pm
  • St. Mark’s Wildlife Refuge: Edible Plants! “Ranger Scott Davis will tell us all about native edibles and we'll have some samples! Yes, betony is edible from top to bottom.” 2pm
  • Monticello Opera House: Mushroom Growing Workshop. “Join us for a Sunday afternoon in the Opera House garden with mushroom farmers Josh and Tyler of Play of Sunlight Mushrooms (based in Tallahassee). Topics will include three easy ways to grow a variety of gourmet and medicinal mushrooms at home.” 2pm
  • Waterworks: April Shimmy Caravan. “Join us for an evening of dinner, drinks, and belly dance.” 7:30pm/free/21+
MONDAY 4/3
  • Growler USA (U Square): Kill the KEG at Growler USA! “It is the start of the week and we need to open up a tap for new beer! $20 all you can drink until the keg is empty, from 8-10pm! Winner(s) will receive a free Growler T Shirt and a 64 oz Growler from select taps! Bring out your team and whichever team goes through the most pitchers wins!” 8pm/21+
  • Under Wraps on the Parkway: Bar Trivia With Hank. “50 questions of friendly trivia. Plus great Mediterranean food, delicious wraps, and beer by the bottle or bucket that won’t kick you in the wallet. $20 tab for 1st place. Near all the state offices – start your week off right.” 7pm/free
  • Blue Tavern (N Monroe St): Lost Mondays with Belmont & Jones. 8pm
  • Waterworks: Patio Theater. 8:35pm/21+
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Karaoke with Nathan. He’s got all the songs. All the songs you want to sing. 9pm
  • Side Bar Theater: Open Mic Mondays with Karaoke and Games. “ Open Mic: Drums, Guitar Amp, and Bass Amp will be provided. (Bring your own guitars and various instruments!) Karaoke, Nintendo 64 ( Mario Kart, Starfox, and more!), Foosball, Cornhole.” 9pm/free/18+
  • Finnegan's Wake: Karaoke With Paul. 10pm
  • The Warrior: Hip-Hop Open Mic Monday's // Dj T Wixx on site // Bring your Tracks. 10pm
TUESDAY 4/4
  • Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Bob Dogan. 6pm
  • Growler USA (University Square): Trivia Night. 6pm
  • Madison Social: Trivia Social. They do half and half theme and miscellaneous, so check their FB every week for an event page. 7pm
  • Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Northside Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank. 50 questions of sweet, sweet trivia. This is a great geeky date night option. If you’ve got teens or kids that want to go to trivia (hey, nerds come in all sizes), this is a PG/PG-13 night. 7:30pm/free
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Trivia With John Carpenter. Lively and fun. 7:30pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: Trivia Factory. 7:30pm
  • Fire Bettys: Now That's What I Call Tuesday! Dance Party. 8pm
  • Fourth Quarter: Trivia With Professor Jim. AUCE wings. Truly a trivia favorite. 8pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Pete. 8:30pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Karaoke with DJRah. 9pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Paul. 9pm
  • The Warrior: Open Mic "SingeSong Writer" Edition. “Full bands welcome. Free Pitcher for a 15 minute or more ORIGINAL Set.” 9pm
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Trivia Tuesday! 9:30pm
  • Applebee’s on the Parkway: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Pockets Pool: Karaoke with Dwight. 10pm/21+
  • Blue Tavern: Roda Vibe - Brazilian Choro Music. 8pm
  • The Warehouse: Brad Watson. 8pm
WEDNESDAY 4/5
  • Madison Social: The Booze-ness Lunch: Free Drink During Lunch “If Don Draper did it, why not you. We are introducing the weekly Booze-ness lunch, because one cocktail in the afternoon just makes you more creative and productive (its science). Come have lunch with us, Centrale or Township and enjoy a delicious adult beverage on the house with food purchase.” 11:30am-3pm
  • Bird's Oyster Shack: Lab Sessions with Jim Crozier, featuring Frank Lindamood. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. “Quizmaster is hosted by Bennett Miller from 7-9pm every Wednesday, and features three rounds of general knowledge trivia (and a weekly food special). It is free to play and teams of up to 6 are welcome. The winner of each round receives a sample flight, and the Quizmaster for the night receives a $25 gift card and serious credit on Geek Street.” 7pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • Junction @ Monroe: Bike Night, Bingo, and Karaoke. 7pm
  • Proof: Bar Trivia With Hank. Drink delicious brews and show off all those random factoids you thought you’d never use. Local beer, local trivia in the heart of Tally’s Art District. A food truck is always out front for this, too, or you can order and pick up something great at the Crum Box Gastgarden (the caboose in RR Sq). Bar tab for 1st and 2nd place teams. 7:30pm/21+/no cover
  • The Warehouse: Open Mic. “There is a lottery for time slots. Now smoke free!” 8pm
  • El Patron: Karaoke With Big Bob. 8:30pm-11:30pm
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Karaoke. 9pm
  • The Skybox (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Mark. 9pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Corner Pocket: Karaoke. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. I’m pretty sure this is both a performance and an open mic. 9:30pm/free
  • Waterworks: PURPLEPALOOZA 2017. “Join Relay For Life North Leon for an evening of entertainment, fun, food, and LOTS of PURPLE PASSION as we kick off Relay Month!” 5:30pm
  • Blue Tavern: The Lark & The Loon / Kelly Goddard. 6pm/$5
  • Club Downunder: InternatioNole Fusion. “A night where people from all over the world showcase their talent. Dancing, singing, stand up...there's something for everyone. Show FSU your talent and your culture.” 7:30pm
  • Side Bar: The Wailers play Bob Marley's greatest hits featuring YAMADEO, SWAY JAH VU, and JUST CHAMELEONS. 8pm/$23
THURSDAY 4/6
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday. 6pm
  • Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Joe Dinkel. 6pm
  • Growler USA (University Square): Wing Eating Contest. “Like wings as much as you think you do? Think that you are a Pro or at least Semi Pro at it? Show off your skills at Growler USA from 6PM-11PM every Thursday. Rules: $20 entry fee per person for all you can eat wings, winner will be anounced on our Facebook page the following day. In addition to gettting to show off and eating a mountain of wings, the winner will receive $25 Gift card and a Free Growler USA T shirt!” 6pm
  • Beef O’Brady’s: AJ Johnson Trivia. 6:30pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Open Mic Night. “Bring your instruments and play an open slot or just come and be entertained in Tallahassee's best sounding room!” 7pm/free
  • Skybox: $10 Cornhole Tourney. 7:30pm
  • Warhorse: Bar Trivia With Hank: AV Night. “3 rounds of music, 2 rounds of pictures! Happens on the first Thursday of every month. Full bar, fantastic pizza, and fun facts.” 8pm
  • Dux (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Big Bob. $25 bar tab given away every week. 8:30pm-12:30pm
  • Midtown Caboose: Trivia Factory. 8:30pm
  • Unique Wonders: Live Comedy with Big Hou! 8:30pm/$5
  • Pockets: Karaoke Dance Party with Keith Welch. 9pm/21+
  • Brass Tap Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-Midnight
  • Applebees on Cap Cir: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Birds: Karaoke with Nathan. All the songs. $1 Pabst drafts. 10pm
  • Institute for Nonprofit Innovation and Excellence: Relay Royale Gala. “We cordially invite you to relay royale, our first annual gala & casino night! Join us at relay royale for a night of mocktails, hors d'oeuvres, casino games & silent auctions benefiting relay for life of fsu. Come dressed in your BLACK TIE best! OPEN to all FSU students and the Tallahassee Community.” 6pm/$25, survivors free
  • The Side Bar: Sammy Adams: The Senioritis Tour with THE FARROW (from Minneapolis), YBO (from Albany NY) plus locals J. KELLY, TAREEF KNOCKOUT, DA BEAST, RO-THORO & DJ FELIX FLO! 7pm/$20
  • Black Dog on the Square: Literary Night featuring Katie Clark. 7pm
  • The Wolf’s Den: David Dondero with Tragwag & Winded. 8pm/$5/all ages
  • The Warehouse: Faking Jazz / Man-Moth / Ryley Smith. 9pm/$5
FRIDAY 4/7
  • Fifth & Thomas: Backstage Garden Happy Hour with David Lareau. 5pm-8pm
  • Growler USA (University Square): Live Music. 6pm
  • Hobbit South: Karaoke. 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Paul. 8:30pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Skyzone: GLOW- Featuring DJ LooseKid. “Grab all of your friends and get your jump on with live music featuring Dj Loosekid, glow lights & laser beams! Check in early to take advantage of the full 2 hours of jumping! Each jumper must wear a reflective shirt, or purchase a shirt in the park. Due to the popularity of this event and early sell outs- we highly suggest you reserve your tickets online beforehand. We cannot guarantee tickets for GLOW will be available in the park at the time of the event.” 9pm-11pm/$25/no one under 5yo
  • 926 Lounge (Formerly Pugs): The Friday Night Party. “Get your pre-game on at Happy Hour with Tom from 4-9 and the dance party getting rolling at 10 pm with our favorite house DJs slinging sound all night long. At midnight, join our talented Queens for an amazing show!” 9pm/$5, $7 under 21/18+
  • Stetsons @ The Moon: Karaoke with Devin Cywinski. 10pm/$5/18+
  • Super Secret Bonus Level (RR Sq): Grand Opening. "Come check out the new store and get your retro gaming fix!" 10am
  • Flippin Great Pinball: $5 First Friday. "All you can game from 4pm to midnight."
  • Fifth & Thomas: KING BABY W/ Buck L. Brown. 7pm/21+
  • Junction @ Monroe: FreakAndy with Drummer On The Move. “We will be broadcasting live on 106.1FM from 9:45 to 10:45.” 8pm/$12
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: Rusty Wright Band. 8pm
  • Blue Tavern: Landon Gay. 8pm/$5
  • The Wilbury: Fake News w/ Buster Wolf, Cat Among The Crows, Cough Drop. 9pm/free
  • Bread & Roses: First Friday Party. “Dance performance: Hannah Schwadron. Visual art: Matthew McCarron. Music: Showtime Goma + Nancyfeast (NYC), blackmoonblacksun (our Chantelle).” 9pm
SATURDAY 4/8
  • Park at Monroe: The Downtown Marketplace. 9am
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “The Frenchtown Heritage Market offers a wide variety of fresh, naturally grown produce. Live music, cooking demos, fruits vegetables, and honey sold directly by farmers.” 10am – 3pm.
  • Growler USA (University Square): DJ Night. 6pm-9pm
  • Salty Dawg: Karaoke with Paul. Family friendly! 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Cowboy Chris. 9pm
  • The Skybox (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Mark. 9pm
  • El Patron: Pasion Latina. Bachata, Merengue, Salsa, Reggaeton. 9pm
  • 926 Lounge: Sanctuary: Tallahassee’s Longest Running Goth Night. 10pm/$5/18+
  • Fifth & Thomas: Gospel Brunch. “Come and have brunch with us and enjoy the beautiful sounds of Gospel music as we have Waddles, Richards, & St. Luc. at FIfth and Thomas. Get ready for our scrumptious brunch menu plus $15 bottomless mimosas and kids eat free with the purchase of an adult entree!” 10am-2pm
  • The Red Shed: 1st Annual Country Market & Craft Fair. 11am
  • 7th Hill Tap Room: Oskar Blues Can'd Aid Foundation Fundraiser Cookout. “Come out and support a great cause, all while drinking beer and enjoying some damn good BBQ. We are making Beer can Chicken with Dale's Pale Ale and a pork butt with a glaze made from Oskar Blue's Old Chub Scotch Ale. Pre-sale tickets are $15 which will get you a heaping plate of BBQ and 2 beers. Tickets day of will be $20. $3 of every ticket sale will go to Oskar Blues Can'd Aid Foundation. This organization has a CAN do attitude when it comes to helping others. But don't just take my word for it, check out their website. Noon-5pm
  • Lake Tribe Brewing Company: Blind Draw Cornhole Tourney. “Blind Draw, $10 per person, throw for the hole jackpot, and wonderful brews.” 1pm
  • Tallahassee Indoor Sports: Tallahassee Roller Girls Season 11 Game 1: Legiskators vs. Sinators. “New Season. New Venue. Same hard-hitting action!! Come see TRG's season opener of 2017 featuring the two home-grown competitive teams: The Legiskators and the Sinators. This will be your only chance to see this match up this year, so be sure to rep your blue or red! Back for the first time in years: Our 21+ fans can now purchase beers available through our very own beer garden! Tailgate starts at 5 pm. Our new venue is full of exciting things: We'll have half time games and high $$ raffle items, just to name a few. This is a family-friendly event: kids 12 and under are FREE! Doors open at 6pm for Superfans and season pass holders, and 6:30pm for general admission. Seating may be limited, but feel free to bring your own chair! Afterparty location: Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack.” 5pm
  • Club Downunder: The Blackout: The Ultimate Multi-Art Experience. “Artist Collective presents the ultimate multi-art experience at Florida State University. This will be a showcase of every form of art. From gallery art to dance, music, spoken words, fashion and more!” 7pm
  • Civic Center: The Price is Right Live. 7:30pm/$29-$49
  • Junction @ Monroe: Dr. Sinn's Freak Island Musical Sideshow/All Strings Considered. “Dr. Sinn's Freak Island Musical Sideshow is a live original music playin’ sexy clown show spectacular from the steamy swamps of Gainesville, Florida. Featuring the good Dr. Becky Sinn, her adopted robot brother Mr. Fiddlesticks, and three dancing clowns: the Harlequin of Heat, Jenny Castle; the Titillating Tapper, Sally B. Dash, and the Princess of Poultry, Henrietta Henhouse! Setting hearts (and other things) on fire with their antics, shenanigans, and general buffoonery. All Strings Considered is a collaboration between lifelong musicians Jim Crozier (of Tallahassee's own The Common 'Taters & the Turn-Ups, Jim Crozier Music & more!) & Don Austin of Dr. Sinn's Freak Island Musical Sideshow!.” 8pm/18+/$12
  • Blue Tavern: John Emil – Slide Guitarist. 8pm/$5
  • Black Dog on the Square: Jazz on the Square featuring the Shawn Villanueva Quintet. 8pm
  • Side Bar: Cow Haus Productions Present Cream Abdul Babar + Black Tusk. “Local legends CREAM ABDUL BABAR reunite for their first Tallahassee show in 10 years along with special guests BLACK TUSK from Savannah GA! To celebrate the 20th anniversary year of Cow Haus Presents, Cream Abdul Babar is playing one show as part of a series featuring reunions of some of your favorite local bands along with bands currently in the FL scene. Black Tusk will open.” 8pm/$20
  • Fifth & Thomas: Young Dubliners. 9pm
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: Jeff Jensen Band. 9pm
  • The Wilbury: Shaken Not Stirred Burlesque. 10pm
SUNDAY 4/9
  • Gaines Street/Railroad Ave: The Souk – “Come grab brunch from Tallahassee's finest, enjoy local musicians and check out local vendors. BRUNCH! Gaines Street hosts 12+ locally owned dining establishments in a 2 block area - we've got something for everyone! VENDORS! We've got vendors all up & down the block! Have some stuff to sell? Bring it down!. And tons of live MUSIC!” Noon-5pm
  • GrassLands Brewery: Queer Trivia: Let's Get Beers Together. “GrassLands invites the Tally LGBT community and friends to come down and enjoy local craft beer and queer-themed trivia every Sunday. LGBT-themed trivia provided by Trivia With Hank. $30 bar tab for 1st place. Stick around afterward for queers and beers.” 5pm
  • Salty Dawg Pub & Deli: The Famous Acoustic Jam w/ Wayne, Glenn, and Bo. Open mic, free beer for performers. 6pm
  • The Wilbury: Breathe Now tour with Lazarus Wilde/ Brighter Poet and more! 2pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Second Sunday Blues Jam. “Bring your guitar, harp, voice, and any other instrument and join us every second Sunday for a blues jam. Open at 6pm for dinner, drinks, and player registration. House drum kit and bass rig provided.” 6pm/free
  • Waterworks: Selena Tribute Performance. “Yvette Smith will be celebrating Selena's birthday at Waterworks by performing a Selena Tribute dance routine.” 7:30pm/free/21+
MONDAY 4/10
  • Growler USA (U Square): Kill the KEG at Growler USA! “It is the start of the week and we need to open up a tap for new beer! $20 all you can drink until the keg is empty, from 8-10pm! Winner(s) will receive a free Growler T Shirt and a 64 oz Growler from select taps! Bring out your team and whichever team goes through the most pitchers wins!” 8pm/21+
  • Under Wraps on the Parkway: Bar Trivia With Hank. “50 questions of friendly trivia. Plus great Mediterranean food, delicious wraps, and beer by the bottle or bucket that won’t kick you in the wallet. $20 tab for 1st place. Near all the state offices – start your week off right.” 7pm/free
  • Junction @ Monroe: Monday Night Bingo. “Good food, good drinks, good friends, and a chance to win some big cashola! It doesn't get any better than J@M. Every Monday from 7pm-9pm we've got cash payouts up to $250 per game with multiple games each night PLUS a 50/50 drawing each week benefitting the Tallahassee Area Musicians Guild.” 7pm-9pm
  • Blue Tavern (N Monroe St): Lost Mondays with Belmont & Jones. 8pm
  • Waterworks: Patio Theater. 8:35pm/21+
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Karaoke with Nathan. He’s got all the songs. All the songs you want to sing. 9pm
  • Side Bar Theater: Open Mic Mondays with Karaoke and Games. “ Open Mic: Drums, Guitar Amp, and Bass Amp will be provided. (Bring your own guitars and various instruments!) Karaoke, Nintendo 64 ( Mario Kart, Starfox, and more!), Foosball, Cornhole.” 9pm/free/18+
  • The Warrior: Hip-Hop Open Mic Monday's // Dj T Wixx on site // Bring your Tracks. 10pm
  • The Moon: Explosions In The Sky w/Thor and Friends. 7pm/$30/18+
  • The Wilbury: Cat Family Records Presents Tail Light Rebellion with The Rest of Ray Brower, Austin Dienger, & Matt Binder. 8pm
TUESDAY 4/11
  • Junction @ Monroe: Live Rehearsal Tuesdays. “Tuesdays are Live Rehearsals at J@M. Sponsored by the Tallahassee Area Musicians Guild. Utilize our complete backline and PA for rehearsals, jams, or hold auditions. Up to one hour slots (or more depending on number of signups) per artist/group.” 4pm
  • Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Bob Dogan. 6pm
  • Growler USA (University Square): Trivia Night. 6pm
  • Madison Social: Trivia Social. They do half and half theme and miscellaneous, so check their FB every week for an event page. 7pm
  • Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Northside Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank. 50 questions of sweet, sweet trivia. This is a great geeky date night option. If you’ve got teens or kids that want to go to trivia (hey, nerds come in all sizes), this is a PG/PG-13 night. 7:30pm/free
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Trivia With John Carpenter. Lively and fun. 7:30pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: Trivia Factory. 7:30pm
  • Midtown Pies: Trivia and Deliciousness! 8pm
  • Fire Bettys: Now That's What I Call Tuesday! Dance Party. 8pm
  • Fourth Quarter: Trivia With Professor Jim. AUCE wings. Truly a trivia favorite. 8pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Pete. 8:30pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Karaoke with DJRah. 9pm
  • The Warrior: Open Mic "SingeSong Writer" Edition. “Full bands welcome. Free Pitcher for a 15 minute or more ORIGINAL Set.” 9pm
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Trivia Tuesday! 9:30pm
  • Applebee’s on the Parkway: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Pockets Pool: Karaoke with Dwight. 10pm/21+
  • Fifth & Thomas: The Underhill Family Orchestra w/ Wanderfoot & Lil' Grizzly. 7pm/$12/21+
  • Super Secret Bonus Level (RR Sq): Tournament Tuesday. 7pm
  • Blue Tavern: Roda Vibe - Brazilian Choro Music. 8pm
Keep checking back, sometimes I update. Got anything to add?
submitted by clearliquidclearjar to Tallahassee [link] [comments]

Fixing the X-Men franchise

Apologies but this is a long one. Here we go.
In my opinion there are two things that really hold back the X-Men franchise.
  1. The refusal to move past the original films. I believe this is because they wanted to keep Hugh Jackman but Casino Royale was essentially a reboot and no one complained that Judi Dench was still M.
  2. There is no single visionary behind it. Vaughn, Singer, Kinberg, etc have all just done their takes while trying to appease the studios demands. So for the sake of argument lets imagine Fox had a Nolan or Feige to give a single cohesive vision to the entire franchise.
X-Men First Class (2011)
I would set the film in 1969. Charles and Eric are exactly the same. Their backstory, even how they meet. Moira is also the same except her generic partner is now replaced by CIA agent Sean Cassidy (played by Damian Lewis or someone similar).
The key changes would be the X-Men are now the O5 and the Hellfire Club is closer to comics. I think Hoult would make an excellent Scott. Considering the young actors at the time, someone like a Mary Elizabeth Winstead or Garrett Hedlund would be good choices for Jean and Angel respectively. Maybe make Hank McCoy black so we don't get the token black guy who dies first. The Hellfire club replaces Riptide and Azazel with Harry Leland (Ray Winstone would be money) and Mastermind. Also replace January Jones with Rosamund Pike who was considered the favorite for a time.
The film would center around three plot lines.
The changes are relatively small but would help better set up future films. I love how they set up Eric and Charles, their friendship, and their split. The X-Men felt like an afterthought so bringing in the O5 and giving them time to develop and bond as young outsiders would give the film more heart. And now we have a stepping off point to expand the universe instead of a one off film set in the 60's. You can keep the Hugh Jackman cameo and joke since he would reprise his role in the future. It would also be fun to use the music of the time to make it feel more era specific.
All of this would lead to the future films. Just some rough outlines but...
The Wolverine: Essentially the same film. Still set in the present but his past (especially the Jean stuff is gone) is more ambiguous. The final act is completely reworked so it isn't a cartoon. He and Mariko stay together. Plus giving Jackman a solo film means we can spend less time focused on him in the X-Men films proper.
Days Of Future Past Uncanny X-Men: Set in 1974. Mutants are now a known commodity. Senator Kelly introduces the Mutant Registration Act and invites Boliver Trask to the States because the Sentinel program has been such a success in his native Genosha.
Beast and Xavier are in DC to fight the act. Angel had his wings burned off so the remaining X-Men recruit the schools best students (Colossus, Kitty, and Rogue) to the team. They also recruit three outsiders in Storm, Nightcrawler, and Wolverine.
The X-Men must stop Magneto and his Brotherhood (Emma, Mastermind, Sabretooth, Destiny, and Quicksilver) from attacking the Government in retaliation for the MRA and Sentinels. While at the same time fighting the government from implementing oppressive policies.
Avengers: Age Of Ultron: No Quicksilver. Scarlet Witch is the lone Mutant that Hydra was hiding. Also, Wolverine was hunting down Klaw in Africa. He and Tony team up to fight Hulk. He joins the Avengers in the final fight with Ultron.
X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: From The Ashes: Set in 1979. This is the "dark" chapter. The X-Men are now essentially outlaws. Gambit and Psylocke have been hired to track the team by an unknown party. Bishop is leading a Panther-like subgroup but is sympathetic to the X-Men. Someone tries to assassinate Xavier while giving a human rights speech and he ends up in a coma. The death of Jean Grey and Cyclops is arrested after he takes the fall for all the "crimes" the X-Men have been accused of. Also, the Legacy Virus has started affecting Mutants. The lone bright spot is the Mutant Rights Act is ruled unconstitutional in the end which gives us hope heading into the final film.
Deadpool: Again, essentially the same film except Colossus is replaced by Rockslide and Wade is an X-Men fanboy instead of Colossus trying to recruit him. Plus a few tweaks to fit the new continuity.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix X-Men Legacy: Set in 1984. This is the final "Classic X-Men" film. Reverend William Stryker was behind Xavier's assassination attempt. He is an evangelical preacher and leads the "Purifiers". The X-Men are now splintered between Scott / Magneto's Gold Team and Storm / Wolverine's Blue Team. The two must find a way to defeat Stryker without making him a martyr. Also, throw in Apocalypse since this is the last ride. He has the cure to the Legacy virus or some shit. Essentially he is just an excuse for all the X-Men to come together and show of their powers to save the world. A couple X-Men die. We end with title cards saying Kitty became a the first Mutant Senator. Storm did philanthropic work in Africa. Wolverine became an Avenger and so on.
Logan: Again, essentially the same film except his clone is now Sabretooth whom we find out killed Mariko and Logan's young son.
From here we can go anywhere. The New Mutants doesn't have to be this weird stepchild. It can be a new generation of X-Men set in modern times. Deadpool 2 can be X-Force proper. But we have a proper X-Men universe that makes canonical sense and has an overall arc with characters we love.
I know that was a lot but thoughts?
submitted by GoldandBlue to fixingmovies [link] [comments]

[Table] IamA prostitute who recently won Nevada's PROSTITUTE OF THE YEAR award AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-08-07
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
How does one win such award? Is it about performance, looks, customer satisfaction (no pun intended) or just many years of loyal work? There is a cyber whore monger's club. They are hobbyist to our industry. They base it on so much more than just the services provided. They base it on an over all experience that they have had with any lady. There are many nominations for C.O.Y. and a few different voting processes.
I don't mean this in a rude way at all, but to get to this award, are your ladybits a wee bit fatigued or run ragged? Seriously, I am curious what someone who works in the sex industry deals with physically after work. I cannot imagine someone who performs a lot of anal sex isn't having some sort of physical side effects. Am I wrong? I do not offer anal... In reality we provide so much more than sex. We cater to many request from a simple conversation, cuddling, to lap dances and more.
Oh, I would imagine so, that it is vastly more than sex. I just wondered what the physical wear and tear is like, even for vaginal sex. If you have sex with your SO 3 times a day which I'm sure you have, I am certain you seen no changes.
How is it like when a customer has a whiskey dick and refuses to cum? How do you charge? Have you ever done freebees? Well it's difficult for me because I want to cum as much as they do, I have to say it's a lot of fun trying! Nothing in life is free, you pay for everything indirectly.
Thats an answer i was not expecting. But still thank you for your answer. Still followup. Can you tell if its a guys first time with a prostitute? I out right ask them if it's thier first time.
How much AIDS do you have? None I'm tested every week!
Out of every 10 guys, how many make you come? How many are cheating on their wives or girlfriends? I come in every party if your not a natural at it I'll show you my sweet spots.
If your birth control methods failed, what would you do with your fetus? Abort, adoption or keep? Not an issue I have ran into, safety is of number one concern and condoms are mandatory for all sexual acts.
How much do you hate your customers? I don't, I'm extremely selective and if I don't like you as a human I won't fuck you!
Did you purposely choose your field of work or did you stumble upon it by chance? I did purposely choose LPIN, it is a way for me to have my fun and be safe about it.
What's the best/worst aspects of your job? Constantly having to pack and unpack for my travels to and from sherisranch would be my best and worst aspect.
Do you have another profession in mind that you want to pursue after you retire from prostitution or is this the only career you think you'll have? I do currently have another profession, I am a licensed Massage Therapist and Health Educator when I'm home.
Massage therapist eh? Yes however, I do not offer sex services when I'm not here.
What are common misconceptions of your trade? The ones most prominent in my mind, are that we are being forced in the industry, we aren't educated, that we come from horrible upbringings and that we rip people off.
Congrats! Are you from Vegas or did you specifically move there because you wanted to become a legal prostitute? Also, how is Vegas? Been thinking about moving there for a spell... Thanks so much, I am truly honored to have won this year as there are so many wonderful ladies that provide as safe uninhibited space for people to make their fantasies a reality. We travel from all around the world and meet up at Sherisranch Vegas is awesome you should come for a visit.
What do your parents think of your career choices? My family is very supportive of what I do. Of course it was hard for them at first, I was always a "good girl" but like everyone knows it's the quiet ones that are the wild ones.
Where does it all end? I do this in segments to put myself to school and because I love multiple partners. It will end when I have accomplished all of my goals and loose my libido.
What is the most disturbing thing you have ever been asked to do for a customer? And did you do it? Well, disturbing to you may be perfectly normal to someone else including me. I am wiling l to try anything once, after all you can't knock it until you try it.
Okay, thank you. But I meant something different from a sexual experience.. For instance, you got a guy who you thought wanted a sensual experience; he then proceeds to say "I want you to kill someone". Exaggeration of example for clarity. LOL no one has asked me to do anything of the sort lol I have seen fantasies played out in that regaurd which I'm more than happy to help with. You see so many people are judged for just fantasies, I like to facilitate a safe place for them to bring it to reality with out judgement.
Do the prostitutes in the legal Nevada brothels make more or less than the ones that work the casinos in Vegas? Have you ever sold your body (or should I say rented it) illegally? I have worked in many areas of this industry. I was an escort before I found brothels and i must say that at times I made more then and at times I make more here. Truth is safety is a must for me and sheris ranch provides that for me.
Can you please give step by step on how you give a perfect toe curling blow job? Please just some input and maybe a little trade secrets to further help us readers. I can show you better than I can tell you. One of my techniques is sucking it like a big stick ice cream or similar to a thumb sucker. I find that when I have the head in my throat and use lots of tongue action at the base not only do yoiur toes curl but there is a very satisfying mmm that I hear. Followed by a body shake and a mass explosion. you should go read our blog Sherisranch
Are you happy? Very much so, after all this is an adult play land that allows me to explore my body, men and women in a safe location.
Please elaborate on safe location. The more I read it seems to me you do escorting more than prostitution. I guess what I mean to say is that I thought prostitution meant pimp/unsafe/rough environment and escorting meant more selective women who are free to pass on a client. Care to enlighten me? Sure I can try, There are women that have pimps and some that do not that work on the street, peoples homes and hotels. When entering a situation where you do not know the person you are allowing yourself to be in a vulnerable situation that may or not be safe. At a brothel we are secure, meaning we have security and the law on our side.
What are you going to do after your done hooking ?? I'm going to go into the holistic health care field.
Honestly that is pretty amazing. with a whole year in advance do you think the cancellation rate is higher (because things come up) or lower (because they scheduled around it) than if it was less in advance. Lower, people have vacation times which have to be requested in advance. Scheduling a year in advance allows people to sync thier schedules with mine.
Is "Courtesan of the Year" a legitimate award or is it fake like a Grammy? Well it's our form of Grammy yes... It is legitimate within our industry.
Is it easy to stay emotionally unattached from your clients? I have made great connections with many people and they are more than clients they are some of my closest friends. I keep all my cards on the table and never lead anyone on. I'm a nypho that likes multiple partners and so are they.
Whose dick did you have to suck to win that award? The ones that were kind enough to share theirs with me.
Do you think prostitution should be a legal buisness across the country? Does your family know your type of work? And do you have a SO? Yes I do think it should be legal, yes my family knows, and if I had a SO he'd have to be willing to share.
What are the criteria for winning Prostitute of the Year? You have to be a Legal Prostitute In Nevada working at one of the legal brothel in the state. It's an annual award so there are many winners that carry the title.
Where did you get your degree to be part of this jobfield and how much did it cost? Well I was born a woman so I got the degree then, I pay dues through out the year for different licensing fees.
How much do you make per session? Well I split whatever I'm given 50/50 with the ranch and I pay taxes. Seeing as though every party is different there's not a straight forward answer to this question.
50/50??? Do you find this fair? I mean YOU are doing the hard work here... I do find it fair, they supply the space as well as all the staff. They have bills and paychecks to pay and I need to have a legal safe enviroment to work in.
Where can I go to find legal brothels in Las Vegas? Whats the best one?(unbiased to where you work.) I think I'm at the best one, but you should check em' all out they all have a different pizzazz about them.
What's your mix/nationality? I'm a melting pot. I have family that blended from all over the world.
She's a melting pot! It's honest my family line has so many cultures that I'd be writing forever. How about i list 3, Cherokee, Spanish, and Italian. This only begins the list that creates me.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Well lets find out together come in for a visit.
How common are STDs in your line of work? You can google statistics yourself, since condoms became mandated in brothels back in the 70's there has been no cases of Std's.
No cases of STDs in the last 40 years? LOL. They must be passing out magic condoms in the brothels... Nope we buy the ones we like best. Condoms if used right generally have no issues.
Why would someone pay for something that's free? Sexual satisfaction may be theoretically free, but all experiences are not freely available to all people at all times. If this were the case, all of Reddit would be getting laid constantly and /nsfw would be unnecessary. Come see me and you'll understand why some experiences are worth paying for...
Then why did she host an AMA...? I'm interested in know what people think and informing any one who hasn't had the time to experience it first hand.
Has it been a dream of yours to be Nevadas prostitute of the year? Yes it has, I seen another lady win it and I decided then I wanted my own.
Where are you from? I only know one area that uses the phrase 'I seen.' I'm a California girl.
How many dicks? Plenty in all shapes and sizes.
What's your dream city to prostitute in? I've been all over and I found my home here at Sherisranch in the beautiful state of Nevada.
What made you want to be a prostitute? Or was it necessity. I love sex, multiple partners and money. It seemed like great fit to me.
How much do you charge people? Prices are all over the map, it is all based on time, activities and the way you treat me.
Pics? mypics sherisranch
What's your favorite thing to do? I love fantasy role play sessions.
What did you do that made you prostitute of the year? Gave the best me there was to offer.
You were 15? Sorry mobile version coulddnt figure out how to edit original post. I was 18 when I started the industry.
From what I have read, because you said you are selective, you are essentially being paid to have one night stands! Everyone else just gets an awkward walk of shame! Haha. I think it's really awesome that you are willing to tell about your job. Do you think you would get out if you got pregnant? How strict are they on birth control and condoms? have you ever had someone refuse condoms? Have you ever had someone refuse to pay or do they pay before? I am selective, meaning I don't have to play with you just because you want me. So being a gentleman gets you into my room being sensual and treating my body well gets you an invitation to return again. I have many regulars that revisit when they can. I also have you "bucket list" clients that are only a 1 night stand. Each party is both fullfilling and gratifying. If I were to get pregnant yes I wouldn't see myself working, but I don't plan on that happening. Condoms are mandated by the law as well as myself and are required for all sexual acts . So if you refuse to use one you can not play with me. Everyone has to take care of all the finances before the session begins.
Okay, that sounds like a reasonable way to treat it. What's the worst experience you've ever had with a client, if you don't mind me asking. what do you mean by "bucket list clients"? Oh, I bet that is good. I would hate to get preggo by a stranger. Because I'm selective I haven't had a "worst" experience. I have had to teach people to be gentle, seems like some enjoy twisting nipples which is not my cup of tea. Bucket list clients are people that generally want to only come for one visit. maybe they heard about it from a friend, or seen it on television and some even just to fulfill a fantasy about being with a prostitute.
How much do you make on a slow night/ fast night? On slow nights I enjoy movies and relax by our pool I may be too engaged in those activities even on a busy night.
What do you do when you're not doing it? I'm doing Riley.
what is Riley doing? Me of course.
Do you get jealous costumers and also how do you feel if you know a costumer is married? I don't ask if they are married, if they choose to speak to me about it I oblige. Yes sometime they are jealous but I remind them we are friends with benefits and I'm a free spirit.
What was your best non-sexual encounter? What's your favourite song? There are too many to choose from, one that comes to mind is a session of music drinking and yoga.
How much have you grossed over ten years? If I told you someone may be out to rob me.
How much for a Cleveland Steamer? I don't offer these parties so I wouldn't know..
I'm in Dallas... Hmmm... Road trip? Well those are illegal situations where the ladies aren't monitored and tested by doctors regularly. You are setting yourself up for all kinds of failures. Why pay for high priced attorney's when every city has a flight to Vegas
It was more of a joke...but in all seriousness, can you maintain a stable relationship and if so what are the challenges? Thier are many ladies that have relationshiops that are successful while working in this industry.
#1: Do you ever enjoy the sex you receive? I do enjoy it, at every opportunity.
#3: How do you remain STD free? Do you make clients wear condoms? Condoms are a must it's the law.
Who's Riley? To clarify this is me and Riley ...BUT I'm not a lesbian. I absolutely LOVE men.
how many Toms and Harrys? Too many to count there are a ton of common names in this world.
What is your destiny Destini? What is an ideal day at work like and a ideal day off? I am destined to be the best me I can be where ever I am. I am extremely openminded, I enjoy almost anything sexual. My ideal party is, sharing my time with a wonderful gentleman that will spoil me as much as I spoil them. I really like the session where it feels like I am on a real date, I love surprises so a nice gift upon arrival ie; flowers perfume gift cards or anything that makes you think of me. I just love seeing that chivalry still exsists. Booking a bungalow really gets you out of the brothel atmosphere, so we can relax by the fire cuddling listening to some enjoyable tunes. Posssibly a bubble bath, it's great foreplay I love the way our bodies slide against one another. When we're all worked up and begging for one another, we can retire to the bed for the most intimate pleasures of life. That's just a small glimpse into my most desired session there are more that I absolutely love but I'll just have to whisper those in your ear when we meet face to face.
I'm a hippie at heart so anything that includes family and friends. I recently went to a cabin in Yosemite I love the out doors.
Yo yosemite is the shit. real dates/wild sex parties are also the shit. Thanks for the response I don't know why all your replies are downvoted, seems like a cool place you work. Have a good day. Because people are judgemental about what I do. It's partially the reason I agreed to write on this board, I'd like to clear up som misconceptions about prostitutes.
Congratulations on your win! What are your opinions on the debate between decriminalization and legalization? What self-care techniques have helped you the most as a sex worker? Thankyou very much. I feel that if they decriminalized prostitution there would less sex trafficking. As far as my self care, I eat right, workout and take care of my spirit through meditation and yoga.
Absolutely fascinating! It's excellent that you are doing this simply because you choose the lifestyle and profession. Indeed you are a professional, and take your work seriously. While I am VERY open sexually, myself - I'm a one man kind of woman - and boy does he smile A LOT!! But even more impressive - I find your replies to be both intelligent and well spoken. Small wonder you are the best! QUESTION - So, what after this profession? Any plans or savings with a goal? I do have plans, I want to open a holistic health care center. That would offer acupuncture, massage and chinese herbs. I love eastern medicine and may want to pursue it in great depth. Thanks for your kind words!
Whats the weirdest client you have ever had? I don't view any of my clients as weird. Everybody has different fantasies and fetishes and should not judged. If its not my cup of tea than i have a girlfriend that loves it.
Could a dick-chuck dick? Well I don't know I don't have one protruding from my body...
How bad is human trafficking in Nevada particularly in the context of sex workers? How would you know if a customer or a sex worker is a health risk? All the ladies are tested weekly for STD's so any health risk is caught. If they don't get a clean bill of health you can't be a sex worker. We have to give our clients a visual check before booking our party. Anything and I mean anything that looks abnormal will stop the party from taking place.
As for the sex trafficking, I'm not in law enforcement so I'm unaware of the stats pertaining to it. It is happening all over the world a very sad situation that I hope the world can get a handle on one day. I think if they legalize prostitution we wouldn't have this issue.
How much can you make in a month? CPA'S put us in the same categories as Drs and lawyers.
I imagine you gave an acceptance speech, did you thank your parents? That's like the ultimate irony.. Actually I did!!! My family is so amazing without them I couldn't be me.
Just wondering if 1) this is what you imagined being growing up? 2) that your job is anti- feminist 3) you loose your integrity by exploiting acts of the body 4) worried of STIs and what not When I grew up I envisioned helping people, which I am doing! In so many ways I have met so many wonderful people that I feel I have found my dream job! I believe that the ladies that work in this industry are very strong and so no we are not anti feminist at all. I have more integrity I believe when I began this then I felt before. I love what do and am very open about it. We keep everything covered and are checked once a week by a Dr. STD's are the furthest thing from my mind. Keep in mind we also have to give our clients a visual check before booking our party. Anything and I mean anything that looks abnormal will stop the party from taking place.
Does a lot of sex change the way your lady bits look? Do you do anything to keep in shape there? Kegels are every womans best friend and sexercise is the best exercise. my lady bits look the same to me ;)
Did you ever have a time where you wished you hadn't became a prostitute? Have you ever developed feelings for a regular customer? How did you get started with this business? I had times where I've wondered what life would have been had I chose a different industry. I certainly know I wouldn't have had so much sexual fun in my life. Most people can't understand wanting an open relationship. Here I have that and the sexual freedom that i desire in life.
Wowzers, that's actually an interesting way to look at that, dear. I got started through a friend, she was a dancer in a strip club that escorted on the side. LOL I actually thought I'd be showing people around. On my first call I was offered more money than my month's rent and bills combined. Sounded like a sweet deal not to mention the fun I knew I'd have. As far as feelings with a regular, I have deep friendship loving emotions but nothing more than that.
Would you ever film a porno or post nudes online? These nude pics are as close as I'll get for online photos. I have to leave something up to the imagination. I tried a few fetish films and found that I like the real thing, there was a ton of stopping and starting for the camera sake, I'm like the wind I want to go with the flow not be stopped when I'm about to cum.
I came here to ask this question, your feelings on legalizing prostitution. This seems to be coming up more and more frequently, especially in Ontario where some ex-prostitutes are fighting for prostitution rights. Is there any "criminal" element that surrounds brothels? Often people don't want a brothel in their backyard. There is also a group of ex-prostitutes here fighting against legalizing prostitution because they feel the women are forced into the profession and that it demeans women and objectifies their bodies (etc.) any take on that? Lastly, where do you hope the profession is in the next 50 years? I feel I have a biased opinion, I'm open to legalizing it after all I do it. In my opinion legalization of it would decrease the dark side of the industry as well as allowing states and IRS to tax even the ones doing it illegally. I hope to see it more accepted by society, we are all women just trying to make a living like anyone else. We are having fun doing so.
I apologize I thought you said you did the counseling on the side. Some where in the comments below. No I'm a massage therapist. I offer many modalities sweedish, shiatsu, sports injury etc...
Do you agree that prostitution should be legalized all over the country and taxed like any other business, and that by making it illegal, we are unjustly telling people what they can and cannot do with their own bodies and money? I do agree it should be legalized every where. I feel your whole statement is exactly what's happening and creating a situation for women to be mistreated and exploited.
You Mention that you are required to pay Tax, what do you put down as your profesion and do you keep a resume showing your work history and skill set? Yes we are independent contractors in the entertainment industry. We get a 1099 at the end of the year. If I needed a resume I have many skills that can be transfered to other jobs. ie: sales, reception, customer service etc.
Whats your favorite fruit? At first thought I would say bananas lol but the truth is I'm a mango girl.
So how do you even go about trying to win this award? Like is there a scoring rubric or something for this? Just curious how they compare different people in deciding which person is "better" at it. There is the CWMC club. They created the awards and the ceremony. They are a group of people that have brothel hopping as a hobby. They all have the chance to nominate the ladies they thought should win and I believe there are 2 voting sessions. The finalist all attend a banquet where the winners are announced. There are so many varibles in selecting who gets nominated since it's the clients who make it happen. I'm only guessing when I say it has to be on an over all experience.
Congratulations! Do you ever travel to the EU or other countries where sex work is legal to offer your services? I am a big fan of the FFK clubs in Germany like Artemis in Berlin. Thanks so much! I do not travel, I have been really happy here at Sheri's Ranch they really treat me well. I'm also very family oriented and couldn't see being so far from home. I have yet to hear of these clubs, I will be googling them to inform myself.
I have that same necklace! From Tiffany's, right? Also, have you heard of that show Cathouse? I love that show. Yes Tiffany's it is! I do know the cathouse I worked there during the first season, I chose not to be on the show.
How old were you when you lost your virginity? Honesty counts here. I was in my teens, age for me was nothing but a number. I chased my orgasms just wasn't paid for it.
Who votes for that? Clients? Do you have to get vaginal reconstructive surgery every few years? Yes, the clients as well as the ladies vote. No need to reconstruct anything... Women have a wonderful design, if you take care of yourself.
Are those beautiful breasts of yours real? They belong to me :)
What's the strangest thing you've done, and how much did it cost? I don't find anything I've done strange, you on the other hand may feel like foot fetish is strange.
What have you done with yours? With my what?
Are there legal male prostitutes in Nevada's Sex Industry? They did approve males in brothels. I'm not sure which brothel tried it when the law went into effect I knw he didn't last very long.
Do u prefer a finger in your butt during sex or not? I am not open to anal play at all. I have friends here at Sheri's Ranch that are.
It's really good when it's done right! My boyfriend has, I think, perfected it! :) Wonderful!
My sister is #3 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. Awesome.
I do agree, I was actually really interested in asking her some questions, and reading her honest responses. Perhaps the initial silly questions turned her off from continuing. Hopefully there will be another AMA in the future similar to her. Please ask away, I'll be checking in from time to time all week!
You dont win "Nevada's PROSTITUTE OF THE YEAR award" and have a lot of free time to use your hands. Lol... true because even on my free time my hands might be petting my own kitty.
I know right! Shittiest AMA in a while. Paitence is a virtue, I have many duties around here as well as the desire to answer all your questions.
Last I heard, OP was attempting to open a safe she found in her basement. Confused???
She's probably busy right now. I was and I am here now with my nipples on!
Sticky fingers... Especially when I have them in Riley.
Last updated: 2013-08-12 00:42 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
submitted by tabledresser to tabled [link] [comments]

Living on the Edge - My Life Thus Far

My reasons for writing this are purely my own, but I am choosing to share this story. Why? Because I am everyone and I am no one. I could be you, or your best friend, your parent, your sibling, your child. I could be the homeless man who has lost it all that you scoff at. I could be the billionaire that millions look up to. I am a human being, and this is a true story... this is my story.
Me: 12/10/1981 - ????
Family
I was a happy child, an only child. My mother had me when she was in her early 30s and then found out I would be the only child she would ever have. My family home was near an apartment complex where I met most of my early childhood friends. We lived in a nice house, but my family was not well off. My parents were two of the hardest working parents an only child could ask for. I was given almost anything I ever asked for that a child could want... even if it wasn't right away. I always had a roof over my head, and my parents stayed married right up until my mom passed away last year. I had the hand-me-down and thrift store clothes. All of this came at a cost. My father was often not around because he worked late night jobs for better pay to be able to provide for our family. I developed a very strong bond with my mother during my childhood. She taught me how to ride my first bike, gardening, simple home repair, cooking, cleaning, hunting, drawing, how to take care of animals, and so much more. I was highly encouraged to follow the arts and music by my mother. My father was the main provider, because he had to be. He wasn't big on the life lessons thing, mom taught me about girls, and about being a good person. We visited my grandmother and the rest of my mom's side of the family every holiday and it was always something to look forward to. My mother was my best friend, through the best of times and worst of times. I am grateful for the childhood that was provided to me.
School K-8
I completed 2 years of nursery school and one year of parochial school because I was too young to start public schools. I learned math and writing at a very early age. I was not even in kindergarten yet and I had learned multiplication tables and writing. It was quite a shock to then go into public schools and alternate learning about colors of the rainbow and nap time. I started hating school around 1st grade. I was bullied for being different. I was bullied for not wearing nice clothes. I was bullied for how I breathed because of an issue with my tonsils. I was bullied for my weight. I was bullied because I couldn't afford the nice glasses. I once had masking tape put over my mouth by my first grade teacher because I talked too much to a female classmate. I was followed to the bus stop every day and punched on until I eventually walked back home to have my parents drive me to school. When I was on the bus, it consisted of the entire bus singing mocking songs about my childhood name all the way to and from school. When I complained about the attacks and tormenting and the being followed around, I was ignored by teachers and admin and called an actor or attention seeker.
One day I was in lunch room. I was having a bad day and kicked a stack of chairs. A random student I never had issues with before came up to me and asked me what my problem was. I ignored him. He slapped my glasses off my face, and they fell into my food. Him and his buddies laughed and went and sat down. When I left the lunch room and entered the hallway, he was waiting for me. He started by pushing me into a locker and saying something about my attitude. "I don't want to fight you" I said. Again pushed, and pushed, over thirty times by my count. A crowd gathered. "I don't want to fight you...." I pleaded. The last push bounced my head off of the locker and I came back swinging. I didn't stop punching until I was physically separated from him by two or more people. His face was cut and bruised and he was being tended to by the school nurse. The principal asked me if I did that to him, and I said yes, and I'd do it again. I was kicked out of school for a week and he was allowed to stay.
12th Birthday!
School 8-12
I got zeroes on homework but I aced all tests. I violated their attendance policy because I refused to go most of the time, yet I held a B+ average. (Still counted as F due to their policy) I missed my junior prom and some of my final exams due to being kicked out of school when a student said I threatened to kill them after the shooting at Columbine happened. I wore a trench coat and had long hair, I fit the 'profile' and I was already generally thought of as a troublemaker. I was thrown out of school pending an expulsion while 6 police cars raided my childhood home with warrants where they confiscated every piece of personal property I owned, including my computer, cds, journals, books, bibles, sketch pads, and anything that could be considered a weapon or made into one. I was then taken 'down town' and questioned about why I made threats to people when I clearly hadn't. After my 2 week hiatus I returned to the school sort of the antihero. I had found out that the entire high school student body had passed around a petition to have me reinstated to class after the baseless accusations turned out to not be true. The principal had the petition shredded. At age 17, I was forced to undergo an intelligence test as well as a psychological evaluation to be allowed back into public school. These tests determined I was a "slightly depressed albeit normal teenage male with a grade 19 comprehension level." This is what allowed me back into school to finish out a senior year where I was never apologized to by those who wronged me, but I was respected. I found out that no matter what I did, due to the complications of the previous year I would not be able to graduate with my class. I would be a half credit short. I showed up just to spite them and did what work I felt like until that year was over, and then I completed the rest of my credits in an alternative work at your own pace school in about 3 weeks over the summer. My diploma still has what I consider the wrong year on it.
Guardian
I didn't date in school, I never had a girlfriend. The concept didn't interest me. That's not to say I wasn't interested in girls, but I was in my world of computers and sports and pretty timid when it came to making the first move. I watched as every girl I started to have feelings for would date my friends and be happy for them. When things weren't so happy in their relationship, I could always be the one counted on for advice to keep them together. A girl that I deeply loved and cared for never wanted anything to do with me but was always asking me about the next cute guy she was after. I played my role well, despite how it made me feel, because it was the right thing to do. The one girl I did try to create a relationship with told the entire school the next day all of the intimate details about what happened between us which quickly put a stop to any further attempts. To this day I don't think she realizes that people made fun of me because I chose her. I met a girl from the trade school I went to and we hit it off really well. We only got to see each other a few times a week and went to some parties together. I fell very hard for her, and all we needed was more time together. One night we were at a party together and she was very drunk and a friend of mine pulled me aside to brag he was going to "nail her tonight." I smiled and played off what he had just said to me, and proceeded to not leave her side the entire night. I carried her unconscious to my friend's own bedroom and locked the door, covered her up, and slept on the floor at the foot of the bed. The next morning she had already left. She told me later on the phone that if she hadn't been so drunk she would have spent the night with me.
The night I would have asked her to be my official 'girlfriend' another girl at the party hovered very close by and continued to fill my cup with enough liquor to anesthetize a rhino. I was led off into the woods, one thing led to another, and when I returned she had bragged to the girl that she knew I loved what had just happened. Nothing was ever the same after that, and in my twisted sense of desperation I met with the other girl a few times and asked if she wanted to be with me, to which she replied that she had a boyfriend. I never saw either of them again.
Future?
I had a horrible school record, my GPA was awful, my dream of joining the military was dashed due to my now existing psych record. I started working at a great job at 18 years old for the same company my father worked for. It was hard work but the pay was good. I learned the value of a dollar. I was able to buy great things for myself. A nice car, an amazing stereo system for the car, whatever clothes I wanted. I fell in love around this same time. I enjoyed a few years of relative happiness, despite always feeling on edge and wanting to put my fist through walls.
Slavery I
My first experience with hard drugs was morphine. I acquired it because when I went to a doctor for the pain issues I was having they pretty much laughed at me. It was in my head they said... Physically, I was fine. The pain was still real. The medicine worked. Not long after this due to the company I kept, I jumped straight to being an IV drug user. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I successfully hid my addiction from my partner, my family, and my friends, for over 6 years. Nobody knew how bad it was. You learn how to hide it, out of shame and fear. You also learn how to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, and hurt others if necessary, to stave off the insanity that occurs when a chemical now dictates your every action and that chemical leaves your body. I was laid off from my job and quickly spiraled out of control. I went from almost $50k a year to unemployment. I started piece by piece selling off every material possession I could stand to part with in order to keep my head above water and make sure I could maintain some level of sanity.
Vigilante
I was walking with my friend home one night. It was cold outside and there was fresh falling snow. We heard a woman's muffled scream and turned to see a man strike his wife in the face through a large picture window. We knew what we had to do. We walked up to the front door and knocked very loudly. The man opened the door and I could see her bruised face cowering behind who I assumed was her husband. He said "What the hell do you wa..." and that's when I grabbed him and pulled him out of his own house into the snowbank. I hit him once in the face in the same spot he hit his wife, and then proceeded to knee him in the ribs until he begged me to stop. His wife came out to try and get me to stop but my friend held her back and said "If you don't call the police, I will." and they went in the house to call 911. I used my weight to hold the husband down until the police arrived. I remember him saying he wanted to press charges on me and the police just stuffed him into the car and gave me a look which meant I was free to go.
Death I
My mother found out when my girlfriend had to make a phone call to my mother to say that I had overdosed and I was on my way to the hospital. My girlfriend came home and found me with a needle still in my arm, not moving or breathing, and my face was blue. I had been dead for a few minutes. The first responder was a police officer who had known me my entire life and he was able to somehow revive me. I remember being very pissed off that I was woken up, and at the doctors who at first judged me, then showed compassion. They gave me antibiotics for my infected arm and sent me home. We never told my father. That night, I carved a line into my arm with a knife.
Slavery II
Sanity was an illusion. At this point I was not only selling things to maintain my addiction but also others'. I was involved with a few different people that would keep me hooked just so that I could supply them with money to feed their gambling compulsions and inability to pay for bills. It was made very clear that if I ever stopped I would be cut off. I was threatened often by these people, and even if not explicitly stated, I was made to believe that if I ever thought of quitting I would be accused of rape and be exposed as a thief and a distributor, meaning probably a life sentence in prison. So I did what I had to do. I also started combining drugs. I combined different types of speed with the high amounts (800-1000mg) of morphine I needed on a daily basis just to function. I combined different types of downers to counter-effect not being able to sleep. I vomited every morning I woke up and shook uncontrollably until I could manage to give myself enough to not look like a complete junkie all the time.
Recovery I
I checked myself into an inpatient detox. My only possessions with me were some clothes, and an engagement ring on a necklace that had been given back to me. I was very pissed off but open to trying anything. I felt that if nothing else I could at least get away from my life for a bit. I resisted all urges to go full inpatient for 30-90 days due to what my family and friends would think of me. After four days, I checked out against advice and skipped my follow up appointment. I called to ask for advice and they told me I shouldn't have left if I was still having these thoughts and issues but if I came back now I would have to pay for the entire thing myself. I lasted 9 hours before locking myself in a bathroom at a gas station to make the pain and anxiety stop.
The Good Son
I was living across town in a small house with my girlfriend. My parents had decided to go out to the casino and asked me to come by and check on the animals. My mom was quite the zookeeper. At my last count I believe they had 6 dogs, 7 cats, and over 30 exotic parrots. She hand raised and sold animals for fun and income. My affinity for animals comes from her. I've loved and lost more pets than I care to remember. I went over to the house and checked all of the cages, I held my favorite kitty, and even played with the kittens. I let the family dog out and she ran off... AGAIN! I waited around for her to come back and let her back into the house. I remember sneaking in to grab a few items of food from the pantry and a pack of cigarettes from my mom's stash, then letting the dog lick my face right before going home and laying on the couch.
Catastrophe
I was laying on the couch attempting to sleep. Whatever concoction I had put into my body worked enough to allow me about 2 hours... then the phone rang. It was my father and he was crying. I asked what was wrong, and he said "The house is on fire son... it's all gone.." I don't know if I even bothered to hang up the phone before I was in the car and I could see the flames and smoke from 3 blocks away. I stood with my mom and dad as I watched my entire childhood disappear. The firefighters were able to salvage a few photo albums and my parent's bedroom, but the entire house was a loss. This included the rest of my 'family' that was trapped inside, and I was the last one to see any of them still alive. When the smoke cleared... I couldn't handle recovering their little bodies. My girlfriend and mother spent days searching for every last one so they could be properly buried, and I wasn't able to be there for it. We had thought for a time that maybe the dog got out because nobody could find her... until it was discovered she was laying underneath the very door I closed and locked behind me on my way out. It didn't sink in until my girlfriend handed me the slightly charred collar and the tag that still had her name on it... Daisy. After this, I was able to return to the site and help with the cleanup. There was a lot of things that needed to be salvaged from my parents room and cleared out for insurance purposes. I will never forget the smell. Dad, with Daisy and Aliyah
Death II
The details are fuzzy... but I remember waking up in a dark closet. I could still feel the effects of whatever it was I took. A broken rope laid at my feet... and wrapped around my neck. My throat was very sore and I couldn't speak. I slowly realized what had happened. I was alone... there was nobody in the house. I gathered myself and hid all evidence of what had occurred. I burned the rope. I told no one. I carved another line.
Dissolution
It was around 8:30 in the morning. I had been cut off for over 2 days. Insanity and desperation does strange things to the addict mind. I walked into a pharmacy and slid a note across the counter demanding they give me morphine and oxycontin. I held one hand in my pocket and did a lot of screaming. The old man behind the counter was afraid but resolute. "No, I'm not giving you anything" he said. I fled. I drove all the way home and locked myself in my room. The news reports started... describing what had happened and showing a very accurate sketch of someone who looked an awful lot like me. It wasn't me though... it was him. Have you seen this man?
Reckoning I
The man I had become had found himself in the back of a police car in handcuffs. After 2 months of lying and trying to hide it and being constantly questioned by the police I had finally confessed. I protected those I felt I needed to protect, and took it all on myself. The charges were staggering. I was told I would probably be in prison for 5-10 years. My father was finally informed of my situation and how bad I was because my mother and girlfriend hid it from him. He was there to bail me out. He was there to drive me to my first rehab. I knew I would be facing jail time. I knew it wouldn't really help my case. This was still the perfect time to check in. I had been in lockup for over 3 days and the worst of my withdrawal was over.
Recovery II
I checked into a rehab facility and it was determined intensive outpatient was best for me since I was living in a 'safe' environment. I was put on a replacement therapy drug called Suboxone, which curbed my cravings but little else. I was able to get a lot better, but due to the sensitive and complex nature of my involvement with those who kept me in check I lied a lot during my treatment. I was also not trusted with my own medication even after it was made clear it wasn't a medication I could really abuse. My very lifeline was controlled and held away from me. I went to court and was sentenced to 90 days in jail, due to my clean record and willingness to receive treatment. There's no need to discuss that time, it served nothing other than to remind myself how much of a criminal I'm really not. A bunch of guys sitting around in the same room telling me how I should have done it better and not got caught. Because you know they are obviously the experts at not getting caught. I sat around with people who were there for everything from assault to child rape. I sat with a former turnkey from the very jail we were incarcerated in. I sat with people so much different than me, yet the same. I got really good at ping pong, and read more books there than I ever had in my entire life... So there was some good that came out of it.
Routine
I was released from jail and subject to further methods of control. "Are you sure you need 2 today? why not try just 1?" ... "You know how expensive this medication is? You should really try to get off of this, we can't afford to keep doing this" ... "Why won't you just stop? What is wrong with you?" ... "Maybe if you would just get a job instead of laying around on your expensive pills and going to those stupid meetings we could have a real life." I had 2 years of probation, to which I passed every test and goal set for me. I lived in a trailer with dog and cat excrement everywhere. Trash bags would pile up almost to the ceiling. I didn't eat a home cooked meal unless I made it myself or went to my parent's new house. If I didn't do it, it didn't get done, and I couldn't do it. I lived in a dungeon of my own design, because I deserved it.
Ghost in the Shell
I couldn't work in my condition. I sunk myself into the world of the internet. I didn't leave the house for fear of the outside world and not only what it had done to me but what I had done to it. I started playing online games again. I joined several online support groups and made friends with my gamer buddies. I told them enough, but not everything. I was able to help people with their own problems despite living in my own personal hell. I received updates, photos and emails from people that I was able to help through the worst parts of their detox, recovery, and pain management because of my fresh experience. I dared not tell them that for every personal victory they shared with me I felt more defeated. My friends and family became non-existent during this time. My friends online became my only real friends I had left. They were there for me when I needed them the most, and I became relied upon by them as well. I became the go to guy with all the answers. I solved problems, helped people, organized fundraising, and started to feel a little better about my life.
Schism
"WHO IS SHE?!" Was the scream I heard has I was shaken awake from my spot on the couch. A cell phone was being waved in my face. On the screen was a single message: "Thank you for your help Rob, I love you!" There was a perfectly logical explanation for it, but it really didn't matter what I said. It didn't matter that the reason a girl would tell me she loved me is because I helped her through a rough time in her life and provided her with resources to be able to get out of an abusive relationship. She lived half way across the country, and was a good friend of mine. "Nobody would tell you they loved you if you weren't screwing them." ... "Nobody could love you" I looked around at a destroyed home with nothing but garbage piled up and fresh dog urine by the door. "I guess you're right, and I guess this is goodbye."
Exodus
My parents still didn't really trust me enough to allow me to move back home, so I found a roommate. An older Native American woman who became a good friend and we had great discussions about spirituality and life. I found myself unable to pay the rent she asked me to pay, and so I began to search for a way out. I made the decision to leave Michigan, and my hometown. I had unemployment still, and had just enough cash to be able to make a one-way trip somewhere. I convinced my parents to let me stay in a spare office so that I could have internet access and organize my trip. My group of online friends raised over $300 for me to be able to fix my car that would not be able to make it very far in it's current state. A good friend in Florida offered to let me stay on his couch while I looked for work. There was a recent oil spill, and any able bodied person would be able to get work.
Buckeyed
I packed everything I could possibly fit into my small convertible, and drove to my friend's house in Ohio to stay a couple days. Her and I met online, we gamed together. We had a good few nights of drinking and partying. I remember her telling me she couldn't have her boyfriend over since I was staying there so I was getting ready to continue my journey but a mix-up at the bank had left me with absolutely zero money and options. I ended up staying almost 2 weeks which seriously strained our friendship. I remember her daughter asking her why I couldn't stay and how sad she was. She ended up finding me some roommates in her same building and I never really saw her again. Larry and Andrew, a lovely couple let me move in with them. Being from a small town, this was quite a culture shock for me, but a life altering experience. I developed a deep respect and admiration for homosexual people that never existed before this because I was simply ignorant. I remember them urging me to come out of my room and have dinner with them. I realized I had become quite the shut in... I moved in with them and only came out for meals. It was all I could really handle. When I finally moved out, I lost touch with them and now wish I knew how they were doing.
Cheese
Florida never panned out... I ended up meeting a woman through some mutual friends and drove to Wisconsin to visit her. I stayed a week and when I went to leave she asked me to stay with her. We drove together to Ohio to gather my belongings and suddenly I was a resident of Madison WI. A place I knew nothing about. By far the biggest city I've ever lived in. New love, new people, new experiences, new dangers. I could really love this place.
Death III
I was alone in the apartment with someone I thought was my friend. He produced from his pocket a small amount of what looked like a crushed pill. He asked if I wanted to share it with him. He had all the means to do it. Without much of a thought I pushed the fluid into my arm and felt the wave rush over me. I remember saying I didn't feel right. "This doesn't feel right.. This isn't......"
I woke up being carried down the stairs by 4 paramedics and a police officer. I had a sharp pain in my leg and didn't fully understand what was going on. They explained to me I had to be revived and that I was lucky, and my 'friend' probably helped save my life by calling 911. He packed ice packs from my freezer into my armpits and in my groin to lower my core temperature until they were able to arrive which slowed the progression. The paramedics couldn't find a vein to administer the counteracting drugs because of all of the scar tissue on my arms. The only route left was a direct bone marrow IV that was stabbed into my leg bone through the muscle. While in the ambulance I confessed everything to the police officer who cited me for possession. When I was in the hospital the doctor told me that I had technically been dead, and they ran all kinds of tests on me to make sure my heart and everything was fine. He unscrewed the bone marrow needle from my leg and said "If I see 100 people come in with these, 99 of them are already dead... consider yourself lucky" and I walked home.
Reckoning II
I once again turned myself over to the system. I confessed and accepted my punishment. I didn't need to go to jail this time, but I was put on 3 years of probation with mandatory check-ins and drug testing. I participated openly and honestly in my time with my state mandated treatment. I found myself once again being the veteran in a group of people just starting their problems. All of us so different, yet the same. I was a little more jaded this time around, pissed off at myself for lulling myself into a false sense of security. I used that bitterness to put things into perspective for people that while had their own issues, should definitely know how bad it can get. We hid what happened from my family and friends. It was too painful and the very thought of it made me go into full rage episodes. I started to withdraw from my relationships. I started not leaving the house again. I would shake uncontrollably for hours at a time and want to break things. The slightest hint of conflict would result in me exploding and screaming. I still wasn't working, and I was slipping deeper into a deadly mix of anxiety and depression.
Hope
I had already enrolled in college at this point. My episode and run in with the legal system prevented me from going back for a full year. In this time I started my first new job in over 5 years. I was shocked that despite my history I was hired and allowed to prove myself and re-integrate. I was good at this job too. I stuck to myself mostly, and talked to very few people. I was considered a high performer and applied for a promotion which after two tries I was given.
Matriarch
My mother had been struggling with multiple health ailments since the house fire and had began drinking to cope with the pain and loss of everything she loved. She never got more animals, she stopped painting and creating art. She stopped living. I watched from afar as she sank herself deeper into a pit I knew all too well and struggled with not being able to save her from it. I was at work when I received the first phone call from home I had gotten in a long time. It was my father, and his shaky voice already told me what I needed to know. "You need to be here, son." and I dropped everything and drove overnight 14 hours. When I arrived, she was unconscious and unable to respond. The doctors told me that her liver was shutting down and she also had an infected heart valve. Neither could be fixed without at least the other being in good shape. It wasn't good. My father and I spoke with the doctors who told us our options, which were basically to make her comfortable. We signed a DNR. We started to mentally prepare for what was about to happen, and went home to have a family dinner with some relatives. We returned the next day and my mother was not only sitting up, but eating. Surprised to see me. She had no recollection of any of it. It may have been the happiest moment in my entire life. We were blessed with almost a full year with my real mom. She had stopped drinking, she started putting on weight, she was managing her diabetes well. She went out with my father and enjoyed life. The next phone call I received from my father simply stated: "You need to prepare, son." Followed by a call only a few hours later in which he said: "It's all over, son."
Straw Man
In my current position, I am looked up to as a leader and as someone who knows what they are doing, I've developed great friendships with several people I work with. One thing I can say for certain, these people know me better than anyone else in my life. They are getting to know the real me. The real me that has overcome many obstacles in life. The person I am striving to be. They also see the carefully crafted facade put on by a man hanging by a thread. None of them knew I would put on a great performance and then then go home and lock myself in a darkened room until I stopped shaking. Through all this I remained strong and poured myself into my job, trying to be the best I could be at it.
Struggle
When I couldn't do it at home, I would drive somewhere and sit in my car until I could face the world again. I would come home to a girlfriend and then wife and not be able to speak to her. I couldn't put this kind of pressure on her, nobody deserves that. I would go to social gatherings, and if I started to get uncomfortable and anxious I would drink myself to near unconsciousness. I started avoiding home, I started avoiding friends, I started avoiding life. I would force myself to attend events and gatherings just to appear somewhat normal. People started noticing. People stopped inviting me out. I wasn't about to let my issues destroy what social life I've constructed, and so I made it clear I still wanted to be invited. I would leave work and then find an excuse to not go home until I was ready to face whatever life issues awaited me.
Fracture
The monster inside me had began to drive a wedge between my true self and those closest to me. I began to shake and get edgy at the very mention of any type of decision or conflict. What restaurant to eat at, which gas station to go to, which present to buy for someone's kid. I found myself becoming very uncomfortable in normal situations. I started avoiding anything that made me uncomfortable, which was almost everything. Being around negative people always made it worse. I've always been one to absorb the very energies projected by those around me. I surround myself with positive people because they make me feel good, and it costs them nothing. When I'm around negative people, the cost usually results in me being a complete mess by the end of the day. Through no fault of their own, almost every person I surrounded myself with started to affect me in very irregular ways. I couldn't tell them, because they wouldn't understand and how could they? The worse I got, the more their happy news and lives disturbed me because I couldn't have it myself. I started having the attacks every day. I would disappear into a side room or go sit in my car for my breaks. I would go home and then immediately throw on my headphones to shut out the world.
Cataclysm
My personal life had finally become fully enveloped by my life long issues. I was no longer a functioning man. I was no longer a functioning husband. I was quickly becoming what I feared and hated the most, my old self. I had everything in my hands. I was by myself in my apartment and nobody would have to know. I prepared what might as well have been cyanide because it was crafted for the same purpose once it entered my body. I started to shake, and I thought of my mother first... and then my closest friends... and then everyone else that had no clue what i was about to do to myself... and how shocked and hurt they would all be. I mustered the strength then to destroy what I had crafted to end my life. And held what remained over a the flame of a candle. That night, all of them saved my life.
Epiphany
All of my life I have been told it's all in my head or I'm making it up. The worst thing is realizing they were probably all right. What frustrated me to no end is that it's not an answer. I've been treated for depression, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, IBS, chronic headaches, and multiple other medical issues with no real resolution. In the end it was one person who broke through to me, and helped me realize it was in fact all in my head, and that didn't mean I was crazy, I just needed help. I listed off my issues I was experiencing as they checked each of them off a list they have experienced themselves and they told me one thing. I'm not that damn special. I'm not so special that I'm the only one who goes through this. They gave a glimpse into a world I was vastly unfamiliar with, and I saw myself looking into a mirror as they described how their problems affect them and what they do to cope, and that it is possible to get better, but it will be very hard.
Awakening
I was unable to drive myself. I had someone I trust drive me to my first appointment. I shuffled my feet the entire way until I was inside the closed examination room and broke down. "What brings you in today?" The doctor asked me. "I need help... please.." was all I could manage to say. He asked me several yes or no questions and I started to calm down and talk to him. We discussed the medications he was going to put me on, and what he recommended I do next. Hearing "You aren't the worst case we've seen." at my first therapy appointment was re-assuring. We discussed a lot in 2 hours and put forth a plan of action to start me on the right path.
Enduring
What I do now determines my very existence. I can choose to hide behind my past and continue to struggle, or finally fight back and take back control of my life. I already know it will not be easy, but nothing in my life has been easy. That's why I am the man I am today, that's why I'm able to tell my story. I may even have stumbles along the way, but hardly anything can possibly match what I've already been through. I'm a survivor, a fighter, and I refuse to let this be the one thing that takes me out. I have no clue what the future holds, but one thing I know about the future, is that it will be nothing like my past.
Living
To be continued...
submitted by edgeness0 to offmychest [link] [comments]

casino kitty party invitations video

Casino theme Party Invitations Template Free – Delightful in order to the blog site, in this time period I will teach you in relation to Casino theme Party Invitations Template Free. Jul 19, 2018 - Explore Shiwangi Peswani's board 'Kitty Party Invitation Ideas', followed by 24601 people on Pinterest. Feb 18, 2017 - Casino Birthday Party Invitations. See more ideas about party invitations, invitations, birthday party invitations. Invitations. Send casino themed party invitations to your friends with a feeling that their night will be one to remember. Also put some numbers on the invitations and make sure that your guests bring their invitations. In-between the party announce any three nos. which you have written on the invitations cards. Casino Theme Kitty Invitations; List of samples of good invitation messages for kitty party to send are listed below: 1). To dear friend, I invite you to the kitty party at my place tomorrow noon. I hope you will arrive for the feasting together and would enjoy a game or two. Casino theme party invitations start as low as $1.80, so even if you're on a budget you can still get a unique and creative casino theme party invitation! Now let's dig into all of the different options and types of casino theme party invitations on this page. You've got great invitation shapes like circle and rectangle. To assist you with all the planning, Canva is here to help you tick one item off your checklist -- designing invitations! With Canva, you can say “no dice” to dull invites! We have a growing library of professionally-designed templates, all of which you can use to make your guests all hyped up for your casino party. This is a very popular no deposit bonus that offers you a huge sum of money as bonus – usually Casino Kitty Party Invitations between $500 and $3000. You are required to use up the entire bonus money in a given time, usually 60 minutes. Casino Kitty Party Invitations, texas treasure casino cruise, oasis casino in kuruman, peek a boo slot canyon ut Casino theme game for Christmas & New year party // fun game for ladies kitty party . Unique kitty party games to become unique host of your kitty party . Time to time I ll share some more life changing videos Diwali, Deepavali or Dipavali is ... Casino Kitty Party Invitations, blackjack phone service through your pc, casino links launceston, tornado casino klaipeda

casino kitty party invitations top

[index] [260] [3812] [3061] [6778] [1144] [2028] [4631] [491] [5947] [6578]

casino kitty party invitations

Copyright © 2024 m.realmoneygamestop.xyz