The Future That Never Was: KITTY KITTY - #2 THE TWISTED HEIST
RR link Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS) #2 - THE TWISTED HEIST A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss? I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think? Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him. I’m such a poet. Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined. “We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?” “God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me. My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC. “To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?” “Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness. With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man. “Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?” The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field. “It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art. “Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.” The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then: “Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.” The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing. And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week. “I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…” “You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?” Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her: “It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.” I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified. “There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!” She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all. Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone: “I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.” Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on. I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt. “One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.” The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste. “I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.” Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky. “It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.” The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt. “Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response. I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human. “Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!” My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once. “No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost. “Shame!” Ali sighed. She then looked at her terminal, and continued: “Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!” Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later. These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol! “What a time to be alive!” Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit: “Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?” I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light. In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence. “And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?” Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction? “Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?” It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task. “You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers. Meera laughed before continuing: “Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.” The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left. “What is going on?” I gasped. After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show. Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck. “A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?” “No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches. Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek. “In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.” From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel. After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes. “Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?” So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case. “What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space. My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma. “Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right? “Indeed…” All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes. After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages. Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected. Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract. But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills. Don’t judge me. The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters. “Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy. “Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.” “Go on.” “We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.” In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day. “Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette. “The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…” Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming. “Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.” “Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water. “You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon. I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside. With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why… “Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door. Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints. To be honest, I expected a bigger mess. “Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower. An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack. “I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant. “Being legendary as usual,” I answered. Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist. “What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit. There was a hint of irritation in her voice. Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked. The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly. When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison: “What the fuck, Meera?” One… two. One… two. Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red. “What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!” She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry. The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind. “We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!” Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt. “I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport. We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar. It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen. In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion. Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab. “Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel. But Meera ignored me. “Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.” The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark. “It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!” Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming: “Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!” He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats. “Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself. The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship. “Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.” Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door. “What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!” “Did you forget who I am, my dear?” I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous! From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”. “Better off dead!” I shouted. My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension. “My bad!” My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled: “What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!” The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face. Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon. “This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed. I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab. Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo. “Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner. Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder. And I taught her everything. Almost. The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later. “Is everything all right?” My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen. Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols. Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they? But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain. I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan. “Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.” With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach. It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream: “What the fuck?” “And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!” “God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!” “We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece. “I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!” It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time. “Guys…” intervened Zéphyr. “What?” Ali and I had spoken together. “These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.” “You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting. Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness: “Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?” Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard. “I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.” “By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry. My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh. Disgrace! “He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked. Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform. “But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.” “Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet. “It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk. This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy! Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation. “There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…” And he ultimately left before adding: “Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.” Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship. This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after. “He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick. This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones. Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger. “I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops. “Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package. “You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls. My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose. Ali finally added: “I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.” Back to business!
Ohio - A large island amusement park similar to Cedar Point, possibly during a Halloween event. Your target and several of his employees have rented out the park for the day. Some assassination opportunities include: making a rollercoaster derail when your target is taking a private ride, drop tower malfunction, poisoned margarita served at the restaurant next to the beach section, disguising as a haunted house attraction monster, Ferris wheel sniping, cutting the brakes to a go-kart, starting a carousel at full speed before the target gets on his horse, beating the target to death with a whack-a-mole hammer at the arcade, poisoned cotton candy, disguising as a clown and concealing a bomb inside of a balloon, etc. New Jersey - a large zoo. Kill opportunities include: well, it’s a zoo. You can imagine the possibilities. Bruges - the beautiful, scenic city of Bruges, Belgium. I imagine many opportunities related to the city’s canals and its archaic architecture. Possibly with some subtle references to the 2008 dark comedy “In Bruges”. Zurich - a luxury train in Switzerland. I dunno I just think the layout of a train could make for a very interesting and challenging map. South Pacific Islands - this mission takes place on a cruise ship which is hosting a hard rock & heavy metal music festival. One of the targets being a member of one of the bands performing. Possible kill opportunities: “pyrotechnics failure”, disguising as the band’s guitarist to get backstage and bludgeon the target to death with your “axe”, drowning the target while he’s in a hot tub waiting for his groupies to show up, causing a slot machine in the yacht’s casino to electrocute your target by messing with its wires, engaging in a rigged game of Russian Roulette in some shady secret room near the casino, making a lighting fixture crash down onto the target during his concert, etc. Utah - a ski resort up in the mountains. Your targets have rented the resort privately for a couple’s vacation leaving only them, their guards, and those who work on the grounds of the lodge. Make sure that it’s one vacation they won’t live to forget. Kill opportunities: making a cable car or ski lift plummet to the ground, burying a bomb in the snow and detonating once a target snowboards or skis into its vicinity, throwing a propane tank down into the fireplace of the lodge’s common room, disguising as a loggelumberjack and making a large tree land on the target, disguising as a logger to gain access to a chainsaw, feeding a target into a woodchipper (Fargo style lol), poisoning a milkshake the couple orders at the lodge’s diner so that their romantic mutual drinking kills two birds with one stone, sneaking into the targets’ room and rubbing bear bait into the husband’s hunting clothes before he goes on a hunting trip in the nearby woods, etc.
Best run in terms of anything Quentin Tarantino: Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Reservoir Dogs. Martin Scorsese: Goodfellas, Casino, Kundun, Cape Fear, The Age of Innocence, and Bringing Out the Dead. Robert Altman: The Player, Short Cuts, Prêt-à-Porter, Kansas City, The Gingerbread Man, Cookie's Fortune, and Vincent & Theo. Robert Redford: Quiz Show, The Horse Whisperer, and A River Runs Through It. The Coen Brothers: Fargo, Miller's Crossing, The Big Lebowski, Barton Fink, and The Hudsucker Proxy. Wong Kar Wai: Chungking Express, Days of Being Wild, Ashes of Time, Fallen Angels, and Happy Together. Paul Thomas Anderson: Hard Eight, Boogie Nights, and Magnolia. David Fincher: Alien 3, Se7en, Fight Club, and The Game. Francis Ford Coppola: The Godfather 3, The Rainmaker, Jack, and Bram Stoker's Dracula. Steven Spielberg: Hook, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Amistad, Schindler's List, and Saving Private Ryan. Claire Dennis: Beau Travail, No Fear, No Die, I Can't Sleep, and Nénette and Boni. Richard Linklater: Before Sunrise, Slacker, Dazed and Confused, The Newton Boys, and SubUrbia. Abbas Kiarostami: Close Up, Taste of Cherry, The Wind Will Carry Us, Life, and Nothing More..., and Through the Olive Trees. Harold Ramis: Groundhog Day, Analyze This, Stuart Saves His Family, and Multiplicity. Michael Mann: Heat, The Last of the Mohicans, and The Insider. Wes Anderson: Bottle Rocket and Rushmore. Todd Haynes: Safe, Velvet Goldmine, and Poison. The Wachowskis: The Matrix and Bound. Emir Kusturica: Underground, Arizona Dream, and Black Cat, White Cat. Krzysztof Kieślowski: Three Colours Trilogy and Double Life of Veronique Steven Soderbergh: Out of Sight, Gray's Anatomy, Schizopolis, The Limey, Kafka, King of the Hill, and The Underneath. Jonathan Demme: Philadelphia, The Silence of the Lambs, and Beloved. Robert Zemeckis: Forrest Gump, Death Becomes Her, Contact, and Back to the Future Part III. Zhang Yimou: To Live, Raise the Red Lantern, Not One Less, The Story of Qiu Ju, Ju Dou, Keep Cool, Shanghai Triad, The Road Home, and Zhang Yimou. Terence Davies: The Long Day Closes and The Neon Bible. Clint Eastwood: Unforgiven, The Bridges of Madison County, True Crime, Absolute Power, The Rookie, White Hunter Black Heart, In the Line of Fire, and A Perfect World. Lars Von Trier: Breaking the Waves, Europa, and The Idiots. Hirokazu Kore-eda: After Life, However..., Lessons from a Calf, August without Him, and Maborosi. Gus Van Sant: My Own Private Idaho, To Die For, Good Will Hunting, Psycho, and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. David Lynch: Lost Highway, The Straight Story, Wild at Heart, and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. Amy Heckerling: Clueless and Look Who's Talking Too. Kathryn Bigelow: Point Blank, Strange Days, and Blue Steel. Thomas Vinterberg: Festen, Last Round, The Boy Who Walked Backwards, and The Biggest Heroes. Julie Dash: Daughters of the Dust, Funny Valentines, and Praise House. Pedro Almodóvar: All About my Mother, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, Live Flesh, High Heels, Kika, and The Flower of My Secret. Jan De Bont: Speed 1 & 2, Twister, and The Haunting. Oliver Stone: JFK, Nixon, Heaven & Earth, Natural Born Killers, The Doors, Any Given Sunday, and U Turn. Rob Reiner: Misery, A Few Good Men, The American President, Ghosts of Mississippi, and The Story of Us. Paul Verhoeven: Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers. Danny Boyle: Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, and A Life Less Ordinary. Tim Burton: Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Sleepy Hollow, Batman Returns, and Mars Attacks!. Ang Lee: Pushing Hands, Sense and Sensibility, The Ice Storm, Eat Drink Man Woman, The Wedding Banquet, and Ride with the Devil. Jane Campion: The Piano, An Angel at My Table, The Portrait of a Lady, and Holy Smoke!. Frank Darabont: The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. Lasse Hallström: What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Once Around, The Cider House Rules, and Something to Talk About. Jim Jarmusch: Dead Man, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, Night on Earth, and Year of the Horse. M. Night Shyamalan: The Sixth Sense, Praying with Anger, and Wide Awake. Luc Besson: La Femme Nikita, Atlantis, Léon: The Professional, The Fifth Element, and The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc. Alan Parker: The Commitments, Evita, Come See the Paradise, Angela's Ashes, and The Road to Wellville. Terry Gilliam: The Fisher King, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and 12 Monkeys. Mike Leigh: Naked, Secrets and Lies, Topsy-Turvy, Life Is Sweet, and Career Girls. Peter Jackson: Braindead, Heavenly Creatures, Forgotten Silver, and The Frighteners. Martin Brest: Scent of a Woman, Meet Joe Black, and Josh and S.A.M. Woody Allen: Everyone Says I Love You, Alice, Shadows and Fog, Husbands and Wives, Manhattan Murder Mystery, Mighty Aphrodite, Celebrity, Sweet and Lowdown, and Deconstructing Harry. Ridley Scott: Thelma & Louise, G.I. Jane, White Squall, and 1492: Conquest of Paradise. Bryan Singer: Apt Pupil, The Usual Suspects, and Public Access. Kenneth Branagh: Othello, Much Ado About Nothing, Hamlet, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, In the Bleak Midwinter, Dead Again, and Peter's Friends. Theodoros Angelopoulos: Eternity and a Day, Ulysses' Gaze, and The Suspended Step of the Stork. Spike Lee: Crooklyn, Malcolm X, Girl 6, Summer of Sam, Get on the Bus, Clockers, He Got Game, Mo' Better Blues, and Jungle Fever. Radu Mihaileanu: Trahir, Bonjour Antoine, and Train of Life. Richard Attenborough: Grey Owl, In Love and War, Chaplin, and Shadowlands. Tony Scott: The Last Boy Scout, True Romance, Crimson Tide, The Fan, Enemy of the State, Days of Thunder, and Revenge. Eric Rohmer: L'Arbre, le maire et la médiathèque and Les Rendez-vous de Paris. Jacques Rivette: Up, Down, Fragile, Secret Defense, La Belle Noiseuse, and Joan the Maid. Edward Yang: A Brighter Summer Day, A Confucian Confusion, and Mahjong. Michael Haneke: Benny's Video, Funny Games, and 71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance. Farrelly brothers: Kingpin, Dumb and Dumber, and There's Something About Mary. David Cronenberg : Naked Lunch, eXistenZ, Crash, and M. Butterfly. Takeshi Kitano: Sonatine, Fireworks, Kikujiro and Kid's Return Alex Cox: El Patrullero, Three Businessmen, The Winner, and Death and the Compass. Atom Egoyan: Calendar, Exotica, The Sweet Hereafter, Felicia's Journey, and The Adjuster. Manoel de Oliveira: The Divine Comedy, The Letter, Anxiety, Voyage to the Beginning of the World, Party, A Caixa, Abraham's Valley, The Convent, No, or the Vain Glory of Command, Day of Despair, and The Letter. Dardenne brothers: Rosetta, Je pense à vous, and La Promesse Jacques Rivette: La Belle Noiseuse, Top Secret, Up, Down, Fragile, and Joan the Maid. Kiyoshi Kurosawa: Cure, Charisma, The Guard from Underground, Barren Illusions, and License to Live. Jafar Panahi: The White Balloon and The Mirror. Tsai Ming-liang: The River, Vive L'Amour, The Hole, and Rebels of the Neon God. Hou Hsiao-hsien: The Puppetmaster, Flowers of Shanghai, Good Men, Good Women, and Goodbye South, Goodbye. Leos Carax: Les Amants du Pont-Neuf, Sans Titre, and Pola X. John Woo: Hard Boiled, Bullet in the Head, Hard Target, Once a Thief, Face/Off, and Broken Arrow. Olivier Assayas: Cold Water, A New Life, Irma Vep, Tous les garçons et les filles de leur âge..., Paris Awakens, Cinéma, de notre temps, Alice and Martin, Man Yuk: A Portrait of Maggie Cheung, Late August, Early September, and Filha da Mãe. Roman Polanski: Bitter Moon, Death and the Maiden, and The Ninth Gate. Brian De Palma: Carlito’s Way, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Raising Cain, Snake Eyes, and Mission: Impossible. Werner Herzog: Lessons of Darkness, My Best Fiend, Little Dieter Needs to Fly, and Scream of Stone. Cameron Crowe: Singles and Jerry Maguire. Alexander Sokurov: The Stone, Whispering Pages, Mother and Son, Moloch, and The Second Circle. Mohsen Makhmalbaf: Hello Cinema, Gabbeh, The Silence, The School the Wind Blew Away, Tales of Kish, A Moment of Innocence, Time of Love, Images from the Qajar Period, The Nights of Zayande-rood, Once Upon a Time, Cinema, Actor, and Stone and Glass Hayao Miyazaki: Princess Mononoke, Porco Rosso, and On Your Mark. Jean Luc Godard: Nouvelle Vague, JLG/JLG – Self-Portrait in December, New Wave, Hélas pour moi, For Ever Mozart, Germany Year 90 Nine Zero, Les Enfants jouent à la Russie, and Histoire(s) du Cinéma. Alexander Payne: Election and Citizen Ruth. James Foley: Glengarry Glen Ross, The Chamber, Two Bits, After Dark, My Sweet, The Corruptor, and Fear. Whit Stillman: The Last Days of Disco, Metropolitan, and Barcelona.
Best run in terms of anything Quentin Tarantino: Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Reservoir Dogs. Martin Scorsese: Goodfellas, Casino, Kundun, Cape Fear, The Age of Innocence, and Bringing Out the Dead. Robert Altman: The Player, Short Cuts, Prêt-à-Porter, Kansas City, The Gingerbread Man, Cookie's Fortune, and Vincent & Theo. Robert Redford: Quiz Show, The Horse Whisperer, and A River Runs Through It. The Coen Brothers: Fargo, Miller's Crossing, The Big Lebowski, Barton Fink, and The Hudsucker Proxy. Wong Kar Wai: Chungking Express, Days of Being Wild, Ashes of Time, Fallen Angels, and Happy Together. Paul Thomas Anderson: Hard Eight, Boogie Nights, and Magnolia. David Fincher: Alien 3, Se7en, Fight Club, and The Game. Francis Ford Coppola: The Godfather 3, The Rainmaker, Jack, and Bram Stoker's Dracula. Steven Spielberg: Hook, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Amistad, Schindler's List, and Saving Private Ryan. Claire Dennis: Beau Travail, No Fear, No Die, I Can't Sleep, and Nénette and Boni. Richard Linklater: Before Sunrise, Slacker, Dazed and Confused, The Newton Boys, and SubUrbia. Abbas Kiarostami: Close Up, Taste of Cherry, The Wind Will Carry Us, Life, and Nothing More..., and Through the Olive Trees. Harold Ramis: Groundhog Day, Analyze This, Stuart Saves His Family, and Multiplicity. Michael Mann: Heat, The Last of the Mohicans, and The Insider. Wes Anderson: Bottle Rocket and Rushmore. Todd Haynes: Safe, Velvet Goldmine, and Poison. The Wachowskis: The Matrix and Bound. Emir Kusturica: Underground, Arizona Dream, and Black Cat, White Cat. Krzysztof Kieślowski: Three Colours Trilogy and Double Life of Veronique Steven Soderbergh: Out of Sight, Gray's Anatomy, Schizopolis, The Limey, Kafka, King of the Hill, and The Underneath. Jonathan Demme: Philadelphia, The Silence of the Lambs, and Beloved. Robert Zemeckis: Forrest Gump, Death Becomes Her, Contact, and Back to the Future Part III. Zhang Yimou: To Live, Raise the Red Lantern, Not One Less, The Story of Qiu Ju, Ju Dou, Keep Cool, Shanghai Triad, The Road Home, and Zhang Yimou. Terence Davies: The Long Day Closes and The Neon Bible. Clint Eastwood: Unforgiven, The Bridges of Madison County, True Crime, Absolute Power, The Rookie, White Hunter Black Heart, In the Line of Fire, and A Perfect World. Lars Von Trier: Breaking the Waves, Europa, and The Idiots. Hirokazu Kore-eda: After Life, However..., Lessons from a Calf, August without Him, and Maborosi. Gus Van Sant: My Own Private Idaho, To Die For, Good Will Hunting, Psycho, and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. David Lynch: Lost Highway, The Straight Story, Wild at Heart, and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. Amy Heckerling: Clueless and Look Who's Talking Too. Kathryn Bigelow: Point Blank, Strange Days, and Blue Steel. Thomas Vinterberg: Festen, Last Round, The Boy Who Walked Backwards, and The Biggest Heroes. Julie Dash: Daughters of the Dust, Funny Valentines, and Praise House. Pedro Almodóvar: All About my Mother, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, Live Flesh, High Heels, Kika, and The Flower of My Secret. Jan De Bont: Speed 1 & 2, Twister, and The Haunting. Oliver Stone: JFK, Nixon, Heaven & Earth, Natural Born Killers, The Doors, Any Given Sunday, and U Turn. Rob Reiner: Misery, A Few Good Men, The American President, Ghosts of Mississippi, and The Story of Us. Paul Verhoeven: Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers. Danny Boyle: Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, and A Life Less Ordinary. Tim Burton: Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Sleepy Hollow, Batman Returns, and Mars Attacks!. Ang Lee: Pushing Hands, Sense and Sensibility, The Ice Storm, Eat Drink Man Woman, The Wedding Banquet, and Ride with the Devil. Jane Campion: The Piano, An Angel at My Table, The Portrait of a Lady, and Holy Smoke!. Frank Darabont: The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. Lasse Hallström: What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Once Around, The Cider House Rules, and Something to Talk About. Jim Jarmusch: Dead Man, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, Night on Earth, and Year of the Horse. M. Night Shyamalan: The Sixth Sense, Praying with Anger, and Wide Awake. Luc Besson: La Femme Nikita, Atlantis, Léon: The Professional, The Fifth Element, and The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc. Alan Parker: The Commitments, Evita, Come See the Paradise, Angela's Ashes, and The Road to Wellville. Terry Gilliam: The Fisher King, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and 12 Monkeys. Mike Leigh: Naked, Secrets and Lies, Topsy-Turvy, Life Is Sweet, and Career Girls. Peter Jackson: Braindead, Heavenly Creatures, Forgotten Silver, and The Frighteners. Martin Brest: Scent of a Woman, Meet Joe Black, and Josh and S.A.M. Woody Allen: Everyone Says I Love You, Alice, Shadows and Fog, Husbands and Wives, Manhattan Murder Mystery, Mighty Aphrodite, Celebrity, Sweet and Lowdown, and Deconstructing Harry. Ridley Scott: Thelma & Louise, G.I. Jane, White Squall, and 1492: Conquest of Paradise. Bryan Singer: Apt Pupil, The Usual Suspects, and Public Access. Kenneth Branagh: Othello, Much Ado About Nothing, Hamlet, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, In the Bleak Midwinter, Dead Again, and Peter's Friends. Theodoros Angelopoulos: Eternity and a Day, Ulysses' Gaze, and The Suspended Step of the Stork. Spike Lee: Crooklyn, Malcolm X, Girl 6, Summer of Sam, Get on the Bus, Clockers, He Got Game, Mo' Better Blues, and Jungle Fever. Radu Mihaileanu: Trahir, Bonjour Antoine, and Train of Life. Richard Attenborough: Grey Owl, In Love and War, Chaplin, and Shadowlands. Tony Scott: The Last Boy Scout, True Romance, Crimson Tide, The Fan, Enemy of the State, Days of Thunder, and Revenge. Eric Rohmer: L'Arbre, le maire et la médiathèque and Les Rendez-vous de Paris. Jacques Rivette: Up, Down, Fragile, Secret Defense, La Belle Noiseuse, and Joan the Maid. Edward Yang: A Brighter Summer Day, A Confucian Confusion, and Mahjong. Michael Haneke: Benny's Video, Funny Games, and 71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance. Farrelly brothers: Kingpin, Dumb and Dumber, and There's Something About Mary. David Cronenberg : Naked Lunch, eXistenZ, Crash, and M. Butterfly. Takeshi Kitano: Sonatine, Fireworks, Kikujiro and Kid'sReturn Alex Cox: El Patrullero, Three Businessmen, The Winner, and Death and the Compass. Atom Egoyan: Calendar, Exotica, The Sweet Hereafter, Felicia's Journey, and The Adjuster. Manoel de Oliveira: The Divine Comedy, The Letter, Anxiety, Voyage to the Beginning of the World, Party, A Caixa, Abraham's Valley, The Convent, No, or the Vain Glory of Command, Day of Despair, and The Letter. Dardenne brothers: Rosetta, Je pense à vous, and La Promesse Jacques Rivette: La Belle Noiseuse, Top Secret, Up, Down, Fragile, and Joan the Maid. Kiyoshi Kurosawa: Cure, Charisma, The Guard from Underground, Barren Illusions, and License to Live. Jafar Panahi: The White Balloon and The Mirror. Tsai Ming-liang: The River, Vive L'Amour, The Hole, and Rebels of the Neon God. Hou Hsiao-hsien: The Puppetmaster, Flowers of Shanghai, Good Men, Good Women, and Goodbye South, Goodbye. Leos Carax: Les Amants du Pont-Neuf, Sans Titre, and Pola X. John Woo: Hard Boiled, Bullet in the Head, Hard Target, Once a Thief, Face/Off, and Broken Arrow. Olivier Assayas: Cold Water, A New Life, Irma Vep, Tous les garçons et les filles de leur âge..., Paris Awakens, Cinéma, de notre temps, Alice and Martin, Man Yuk: A Portrait of Maggie Cheung, Late August, Early September, and Filha da Mãe. Roman Polanski: Bitter Moon, Death and the Maiden, and The Ninth Gate. Brian De Palma: Carlito’s Way, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Raising Cain, Snake Eyes, and Mission: Impossible. Werner Herzog: Lessons of Darkness, My Best Fiend, Little Dieter Needs to Fly, and Scream of Stone. Cameron Crowe: Singles and Jerry Maguire. Alexander Sokurov: The Stone, Whispering Pages, Mother and Son, Moloch, and The Second Circle. Mohsen Makhmalbaf: Hello Cinema, Gabbeh, The Silence, The School the Wind Blew Away, Tales of Kish, A Moment of Innocence, Time of Love, Images from the Qajar Period, The Nights of Zayande-rood, Once Upon a Time, Cinema, Actor, and Stone and Glass Hayao Miyazaki: Princess Mononoke, Porco Rosso, and On Your Mark. Jean Luc Godard: Nouvelle Vague, JLG/JLG – Self-Portrait in December, New Wave, Hélas pour moi, For Ever Mozart, Germany Year 90 Nine Zero, Les Enfants jouent à la Russie, and Histoire(s) du Cinéma. Alexander Payne: Election and Citizen Ruth. James Foley: Glengarry Glen Ross, The Chamber, The Corruptor, Two Bits, After Dark, My Sweet, and Fear. James Mangold: Heavy, Cop Land, and Girl, Interrupted. Whit Stillman: The Last Days of Disco, Metropolitan, and Barcelona.
Drive-In Movie Night: "Space Jam", August 27Swackhammer, an evil alien theme park owner, needs a new attraction at Moron Mountain. When his gang, the Nerdlucks, heads to Earth to kidnap Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes, Bugs challenges them to a basketball game to determine their fate. The aliens agree, but they steal the powers of NBA basketball players, including Larry Bird and Charles Barkley, so Bugs gets some help from superstar Michael Jordan. Rated PG, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, 8:45pm, $25 per car
Friday, August 28th:
Summer Concert Series, August 28Friday night summer music series, a seasonal tradition of music, food and wine. Stonington Vineyards welcomes the area's best acts for a relazing evening of music on the outdoor patio. Guests are invited to bring lawn chairs, blankets and light bites to enjoy. Reservations must be purchased in advance. No admissions at the door. Whisker Fish, GIRLS ON THE RUN, Stonington Vineyards, 523 Taugwonk Rd. Stonington, CT , 6PM-9PM, $10
Drive-In Movie Night: "Shazam!", August 28A boy is given the ability to become an adult superhero in times of need with a single magic word. Rated PG-13, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, CT, 8:45pm, $25 per car.
Twilight Concerts on the Farm, August 28th, The Tom Petty ProjectImpacting the course of Rock n Roll history, Tom Petty’s roots-rock guitar sound rose from the new-wave moment in the late 1970’s. Hits like “Free Fallin,” “Last Dance with Mary Jane,” “I Won’t Back Down,” “Learning to Fly” and so many more are ingrained in music history. The Tom Petty Project is a project of musicians from several bands in NY and CT who have come together to celebrate the music of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. “We do our best to represent the music of one of the best songwriters and bands the world has ever known.” Members include: Pete Najarian (Lead Vocals and Guitar), Phil Lopresti (Lead Guitar and Backing Vocals), Scott Persson (Drums and Backing Vocals), Mark Bridgman (Bass and Backing Vocals), and Glenn Cavazzi (Keyboards).Located at South Farms, the show takes place on over 10 acres of manicured farmland. The venue boasts a beautifully structured grid layout, adhering to public health guidelines while still maintaining the intimacy of live concerts. The vast spacing and outdoor conditions (open air) help reduce potential transmission and encourage social distancing. Guests are welcome to bring lawn chairs and blankets for comfortable seating and enjoying the farm field. Outside food and beverages are prohibited. Food trucks and a full bar will be available on site. Masks are not required within the guest grid. Hand sanitizing stations will be dispersed throughout the venue. High-touch areas such as door handles, counter surfaces will be regularly and consistently disinfected throughout the show. Restrooms will be cleaned and restocked regularly throughout the show. Everyone entering the venue, including guests, artists, crew and staff will be health checked including a temperature check and short questionnaire. Presented by the Palace Theater of Waterbury, Premier Concerts and Manic Presents. South Farms, 21 Higbie Rd, Morris, CT, 5pm, $20
Saturday, August 29th:
Corn Maze: "Thank You Our Heroes", August 29 - November 1Theme: “Thank You Our Heroes,” an appreciation for our Frontline Workers. The iconic Statue of Liberty, a symbol that unites all Americans, is adorned with a giant Heart, the symbol that universally stands for our show of thanks and appreciation for our Frontline Workers during this COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic. You will learn about nurses, medical professionals, EMT’s, fire fighters, charitable organizations, and more. The Corn Maze is four acres, and there is a total of one mile of paths and hundreds of decision points. There are 10 positions in the Maze which coincide with 10 multiple choice questions on a passport that guides the visitors, if you answer correctly you go the right way, if you answer incorrectly you get lost!. The passports have multiple themes, you can choose the subject that most interests you. We staff the Maze with Corn Cops who are there to assist as needed. The average time needed to navigate the entire Maze is 30-40 minutes. The Maze is interactive, engaging and fun for all ages. Donations This is our 21st Corn Maze. Since 2000, we have donated $1 of every ticket sold to the American Cancer Society. The accumulative total coming into this year is $623,315. In addition, this will be the first year that we will donate fifty cents of every ticket sold to the Connecticut Cancer Foundation. Lyman Orchards, 32 Reeds Gap Rd. Middlefield, CT, Mon.-Fri. 1 p.m.-6 p.m.; Sat.-Sun. & holidays 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Last tickets sold and entry of the day is 5:30 p.m. I can't seem to find a price.
Red Barn Live: A Drive-In Live Music Concert, August 29Grab your quaranteam and head to the farm for a night of live music as the sun sets! Just like a drive-in movie but instead of a film, live covers of your favorite hits will accompany you on one of the last evenings of summer. BYO food, beverages and comfy accessories to make your popped trunk, truck bed, car roof or front seats feel like box seats at Madison Square Garden. Headliner John Torres of the band Color Fields is a native of Bridgeport who grew up listening to artists like Cat Stevens, Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young, Jim Croce, and The Beatles. John began songwriting while at Carleton College in Northfield, MN, and has spent the last 3 years crafting a sound that is entirely his own. His music has been described as soulful, honest, playful, and tormented. Mr. Know It All, a classic rock band with Fairfield roots, and a great friend of the farm, will open the show at 5 p.m. with their covers of your favorite Hard Rock, Classic Rock, and 1990s bands. Parking has been set up to allow for six feet distancing between cars to ensure a safe and serene night in front of the Red Barn. We ask that everyone remain in/on their vehicles for the duration of the concert, if you do need to move about outside your cars, masks are required. Pre-registration is required and all proceeds directly benefit the farm. Red Barn at Ambler Farm, 257 Hurlbutt St. Wilton, CT, Doors open at 4 p.m., concert 5 p.m.-9 p.m., $100 per car.
Fairfield Comedy Presents: Krystyna Hutchinson, August 29An outdoor, live stand-up comedy at Circle Hotel's backyard. Bring your chairs, blankets, and picnic and bring your appetite for laughter. Circle Hotel Fairfield, 417 Post Rd. Fairfield, CT, 5:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., $25-$35
Priam Vineyards Comedy Night, August 29Phase out of quarantine and enjoy a safe, socially distant, outdoor comedy show. The show will take place on the spacious patio area. There will also be a tented area to accommodate safe distancing while seated, as well as the vineyard lawn. All public areas will be cleaned, wiped, and sanitized regularly as per state mandate. Come early and take advantage of food truck to enjoy dinner before the show. First glass of wine is included with the ticket. NO LIQUIDS OF ANY KIND are permitted to be brought onsite. Wine by the bottle and glass will be available to order at the bar. Seating is provided, or bring your own chair or blanket for the lawn. For more information,Priamvineyards.comJoin us for an unforgettable evening of laughing and drinking, featuring some of the funniest and most talented comics from all over the northeast. The Comedy Craft Beer Tour brings the best of Northeast comedy to local breweries, wineries, and any other venue that serves alcohol throughout New England and beyond for an evening that keeps the drinks flowing, and the laughs coming. The comics have done comedy all over the globe and now bring their experiences to some of the best local venues around for an intimate evening of laughs, drinks, food, and fun. We provide the absolute funniest comedy around, featuring comics w/ television and movie credits, who perform at the major clubs and festivals throughout the country, and are some of the brightest stars of today and tomorrow. Priam Vineyards, 11 Shailor Hill Rd. Colchester, CT, 6:30-8:30, $30
Film: "Aladdin", August 29Enjoy classic films on the Kate’s big screen, with surround sound, in a physically distanced and safe environment. Details on what the Kate is doing to keep you safe can be found atwww.thekate.orgAladdin, a street-smart commoner, pairs up with clever, confident Princess Jasmine to fight against the evil sorcerer Jafar and foil his plans of taking over the kingdom. Along the way, Aladdin learns to believe in himself...with the help of a comical, shape-shifting Genie whose three wishes can change everything. Katharine Hepburn Cultural Arts Center, 300 Main St. Old Saybrook, CT, 7pm, Adults $10, children $5.
Drive-In Movie Night: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", August 29Harry, Ron and Hermione return to Hogwarts for another magic-filled year. Harry comes face to face with danger yet again, this time in the form of escaped convict, Sirius Black, and turns to sympathetic Professor Lupin for help. Rated PG, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, CT, 8:45pm, $25 per car
Sunday, August 30th:
Twilight Concerts on the Farm, August 30, Nikki GlaserShow features comedian Nikki Glaser. Nikki Glaser is one of the funniest female voices in comedy today. For over a decade at clubs across the country, and as the host of three hit podcasts, she has been honing her shockingly-honest, no-holds barred style of comedy. You can currently find Nikki flexing her over-sharing muscle as the host of Comedy Central’s first live daily morning show, YOU UP WITH NIKKI GLASER for SiriusXM, which is entirely female-produced. Nikki’s recent Netflix comedy special, BANGIN’, was released October 2019. BANGIN’ was the most watched Netflix special of the month and VULTURE included it on their “10 Best Comedy Specials of 2019” year-end list. In late January, she kicked off her nationwide comedy tour, BANG IT OUT! Previously, Nikki hosted, co-created and executive produced thecritically-acclaimedand daring comedic show, NOT SAFE WITH NIKKI GLASER, for Comedy Central and NIKKI & SARA LIVE for MTV. Nikki was a standout at the Comedy Central Roasts of Alec Baldwin, Bruce Willis and Rob Lowe, and has had memorable film and television roles in Judd Apatow’s TRAINWRECK, NBC’s AP BIO and INSIDE AMY SCHUMER, amongst others. Nikki has multiple stand-up specials and late-night tv appearances in which she jokes about her most humiliating moments as a woman in the modern world. Nikki’s past and current struggles with anorexia, depression, and anxiety are fair game in both her stand-up, and in in-depth interviews with THE HOWARD STERN SHOW, WTF WITH MARC MARON and JOE ROGAN. She has become a complete open book on mic -and not just for the laughs, she’s also adamant on being the empowering voice for women that she yearned for as a young, confused, adolescent herself. Located at South Farms, the show takes place on over 10 acres of manicured farmland. The venue boasts a beautifully structured grid layout, adhering to public health guidelines while still maintaining the intimacy of live concerts. The vast spacing and outdoor conditions (open air) help reduce potential transmission and encourage social distancing. Guests are welcome to bring lawn chairs and blankets for comfortable seating and enjoying the farm field. Outside food and beverages are prohibited. Food trucks and a full bar will be available on site. Masks are not required within the guest grid. Hand sanitizing stations will be dispersed throughout the venue. High-touch areas such as door handles, counter surfaces will be regularly and consistently disinfected throughout the show. Restrooms will be cleaned and restocked regularly throughout the show. Everyone entering the venue, including guests, artists, crew and staff will be health checked including a temperature check and short questionnaire. Presented by the Palace Theater of Waterbury, Premier Concerts and Manic Presents. South Farms, 21 Higbie Rd. Morris, CT, 5:30 & 9pm, $100,
Dave Attell, August 30He’s New York City’s hardest-working comic and he’s bringing a night of laughs to The Playhouse with an outdoor show on the field next to the Playhouse. Dave Attell earned a cult following with his Comedy Central hit Insomniac with Dave Attell. He has worked alongside some of the biggest names in comedy including Adam Sandler (his old friend from their NYU days) in Judd Apatow’s Funny People, he also starred alongside Amy Schumer in her hit films Trainwreck and I Feel Pretty. Dave can also be seen on HBO’s critically acclaimed series Crashing with Pete Holmes. His stand up series, Dave Attell’s Comedy Underground and his one hour special Road Work were featured on Comedy Central and Road Work is now streaming on Netflix. His film credits also include Chris Rock’s cult film Pootie Tang and his television credits include some of the best in comedy including The Simpsons, Difficult People, Bob’s Burgers, Arrested Development, The Jim Gaffigan Show, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Inside Amy Schumer, Everybody Loves Raymond, Louie, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and the list goes on. Fellow comics Patton Oswalt and Bill Burr have hailed him as the greatest off-color comedian alive. He’s a master of the one-liner, and no one is safe from Dave’s comedy. Ridgefield Playhouse, 80 East Ridge Rd. 80 East Ridge, Ridgefield, CT, 7pm, $45
Drive-In Movie Night: "Ocean's Eleven", August 30 Less than 24 hours into his parole, charismatic thief Danny Ocean is already rolling out his next plan: In one night, Danny’s hand-picked crew of specialists will attempt to steal more than $150 million from three Las Vegas casinos. But to score the cash, Danny risks his chances of reconciling with ex-wife, Tess. Rated PG-13, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, CT, 8:45pm, $25 per car
FIND MORE THINGS TO DO HERE, STAY SAFE, SOCIAL DISTANCE, WEAR MASKS, AND HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!
Full Summary of Wade Keller's Huge Interview With AEW President Tony Khan
Tony says he feels "really, really great" and "well prepared" about their first episode.
Feels like they're getting amazing press. With the help of TNT/Warner Media, they've had advertising through podcasts, social media, Facebook ads, mainstream TV ads (NFL, HBO, "wrestling TV"), airports, movie theater trailers, etc.
Since watching the shows from gorilla, while also producing, is different from just watching the shows live, Tony makes sure to always watch the shows back (usually the next day), and plans to continue that for TV. Mentions that he watched Fight for the Fallen after he watched WWE Extreme Rules, and was "blown away by how much better our show was" and felt like that was one of AEW's weaker shows.
Says Double or Nothing is "the most commercially and critically successful wrestling pay-per-view" of the year. Cites doing over 110,000 buys at the price point they set, for their first ever show, while not having any TV to build it up. Happy with how well All Out did, despite the challenges of losing Jon Moxley to a MRSA infection 10 days before.
Top-5 issues he's had with their shows (in no particular order):
1. The Double or Nothing Casino Battle Royale started out flat, because they wanted to build towards a moment with MJF and Shawn Spears (that would factor into the future animosity between them), but the downside is that their first impression suffered because of it.
2. They could have (and were supposed to) handle the chairshot from Shawn Spears to Cody better, but it didn't go off as planned. Thankfully Cody was okay, and thought the Cody/Shawn Spears feud was fantastic.
3. The Hangman Page vs. Kip Sabian match should not have gone as long as it did. He regrets not having cut 5 minutes from it, plus it went 2 minutes longer than it was supposed to. Felt like it dragged, and didn't do anyone any favors (thinks it should have gone 12-13, not 17-19 minutes).
4. Losing Jon Moxley to MRSA, but think they handled that as well as they could. Really glad Jon's okay, and they're focused on Moxley vs Omega going forward.
5. Concedes that the Buy-In shows probably shouldn't have so much comedy when the main card is so serious.
As far as TV goes, you can still expect to see the arenas set up in a similar way, great wrestling matches, and a high production value. You probably won't see things like the Moxley vs Janela match.
Tonight's countdown special on TNT is designed to help introduce AEW to new viewers. They suspect that a lack of wrestling on Tuesday night (for the first time in a long time) will lead to viewers seeking out wrestling programming on TV.
While a lot of people will show up for a TV premiere, if you don't deliver then they might not show up for Week 2. He "wants Week 2 to be just as big of an event as Week 1, and Week 3 to be just as big as Week 1 and 2, and so forth." They're planning on "rolling out huge things every week."
Talks about the importance of Being the Elite - and how AEW wouldn't exist without it - despite it being a very different tone from AEW's shows. Says the "Road to" series will probably be more in-line with the tone they're going for for their shows. Says there's nothing wrong with having a sketch comedy show on YouTube, and a serious wrestling show on TV (which isn't to say that they'll never have comedic segments).
Doesn't want to insult people's intelligence. Against "invisible cameras" and doesn't want to rely on "DQ's," "ridiculous ref bumps," and "distraction roll-ups" too often.
His own personal wrestling influences are wide-ranging, dating as far back as the WWWF, and including Memphis, Mid-South, 90s New Japan and All Japan, and 2010s New Japan (references Kenny Omega, Prince Devitt, and Kota Ibushi). Says he shares common interests with Cody regarding Jim Crockett Promotions, WCW, and Mid-Atlantic; and common interests with Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks with Japanese wrestling.
Even though "they all have different tastes in wrestling," they have a "similar mindset for what is good and what is bad." "90+% of the time" when one of them thinks they have a good idea, they all agree.
Hopes to grow the audience by putting on a great show, rather than trying to cater to specific demographics.
Designed to be more sports-based, but that doesn't mean they will lack drama (just like traditional sports aren't devoid of drama). Stories will stem from "wrestling in the ring," "personal issues," and "grudges" - with less focus on the "preposterous" and "ridiculous."
Wasn't surprised to see to see NXT go head-to-head with AEW on TV. Says that if AEW ran Tuesdays, he would have suspected NXT would move to that day (and says that arguably would have made more sense for NXT, since moving Smackdown to Fridays and potentially losing those Tuesday viewers).
While the shows will be wrestling-heavy, they will still have promos ("We have Chris Jericho and Jon Moxley: it would be insane not to let these guys talk") - "just not ridiculous, scripted promos."
Doesn't want to "over-produce" the commentary. While he has chimed in "a handful of times" for things to say - and while he regrets some things that have been said - he likes that it feels "real" and "organic."
Wants to have a show that's focused "in and around the ring" (compares to how the UFC is presented). Doesn't like so much focus on what's happening backstage.
Since the show is TV-14, they are being given more leeway and are being encouraged to be themselves and "be edgy."
In regards to WWE, they're not attempting to "counter-program" them or anything, but aren't above poking fun. They just don't want it to "become a habit" or "become a theme of the show." He was fine with Cody smashing the throne, because it came from his personal experiences. Says they're a "challenger brand," and while there isn't just one competitor, "there's one obvious competitor that we're always going to be compared to, for the foreseeable future." He doesn't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but actually a good thing - "especially after Monday."
Wants wrestlers to appear authentic. In regards to their characters, he doesn't want people to do things that they don't believe themselves. He's against writing dialogue for wrestlers, and thinks it can just result in them coming off as bad actors.
Says he's been "waiting for this moment for a really long time." In regards to the start date, he says that he's "known for a year and a half that this day is coming, and I could have told you that it was either going to be today or tomorrow." Cannot legally get into specifics, but says he has a "long-term," "multi-year" commitment with TNT.
In regards to wrestling being looked down upon by TNT in the past, he says that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Says he was able to demonstrate factual numbers and patterns to say that "TNT had a big wrestling audience, and we can have one again. We're going to have one. We're going to have it tomorrow and we're going to have it a long time."
Committed to doing big, quarterly PPVs. Also interested in other big events (like the CEO-partnered Fyter Fest, and the charity fundraising Fight for the Fallen) that they can put out either through BRLive or streaming. Double or Nothing will always be held Memorial Day weekend in Las Vegas. All Out will always be held Labor Day weekend in the Chicago area. Full Gear has a chance to be the big, winter quarterly show (didn't necessarily seem to be as committed to the idea of it staying in the Baltimore area).
Says the ITV deal was not supposed to be announced (sounds very annoyed with this situation). They had replays scheduled for Sunday/Monday, "but they're still working on getting the show on earlier." He fully expects "this week" that they'll be up before that. It was just announced prematurely before everything was fully hammered out. "Hopefully stay tuned and we'll have some good news soon."
In regards to planning out TV, especially further down the line: "It's going to be way harder than we thought. It's going to be really hard, I know it's going to be, but it's not going to be the first time I've tried to do something I haven't done before. I think we have good aptitudes for this. I think it's going to be a challenge, and I don't expect it to be easy at all - believe me - but I do think we're going to pull it off and I think it's going to go great."
Agrees that wrestlers work best when they're amplified versions of their own personalities, but that's not necessarily always going to be the case (cites Kenny Omega's recent character change as not really being true to who Kenny is as a person).
Says that overall he's a lot less nervous with AEW than he is with the Jaguars or Fulham, because a lot more things are under his control.
In regards to keeping kayfabe on social media, says that he doesn't necessarily think it's a big deal and he trusts his performers to handle it well. He has had to talk to people a couple times in regards to bad things they've said on social media, but generally that isn't an issue. Says that could change a bit once they're doing weekly TV. Wade Keller seems to be of the mindset that wrestlers should always be "on," but Tony doesn't necessarily seem to agree (he gives the example of the media scrums not being done in kayfabe, and it being fine because it's clearly separate from the PPV).
As far as being wrestler-friendly, they'll have a relatively light schedule (every Wednesday this year, other than Christmas, plus Full Gear on a Saturday). Not everyone on the roster is going to be on every show - by design to give people time off and breaks for a healthier work/life balance. If it's a "reasonable request," he will allow wrestlers to work independent dates outside of AEW. They also have a tuition-matching program for people looking to get an education (says that he believes WWE also offers that, but it would be very difficult to work that around WWE's schedule), and some wrestlers are able to have careers outside of wrestling, as well (such as Britt Baker's dentistry, who he would never want to force to be on the road for 5 days out of the week). Many wrestlers also work various in-office position with AEW.
Doesn't want to be a "control freak," and is very open to feedback and suggestions from wrestlers. They try to have producers and coaches that are very agreeable guys to work with (cites Jerry Lynn and Dean Malenko), and he would rather say "yes" than "no" to a wrestler's idea.
In regards to AEW forcing WWE to make a better on-air product, he says "that is already clearly happening." "Yes, I do expect they will have to make some changes to their shows to accommodate some things that we're doing, like, for example pyro, I don't think it's a coincidence that pyro came back." "When there's a competitive wrestling market it's better for the fans, it's definitely better for the wrestlers, and I think it's better for the companies, too, because the competition not only brings the best out of both companies, but the market it creates - let's face it, people are very excited with what's going on between AEW and WWE."
Wants to do with the women's division what WCW did with the cruiserweight division: notably with the joshi and how they interact with the western women.
Thinks his roster is as good as what any other brand has on TV in regards to in-ring skill and personality.
In regards to the recent RAW ending, "if people like that: great. It seemed like a lot of people didn't, but I'm sure there's some people that did, and I don't begrudge those people for liking it. Different people like different things in wrestling - everyone's entitled to their opinion." Goes on to say that he would never ban anyone from the arena for wearing a wrestling shirt from another promotion, and just thinks it's cool that you're wearing a wrestling shirt, period.
Defining success, he says that it's more subjective with AEW than his other sports teams. They've set benchmarks, internal targets, and network targets as goals. "I would like for this show to have a good audience and for this show to be on for many years. I would like to make the wrestling business a better place, as we've already done in 2019, I'd still like to be doing that in the future." "I would like for us to be a profitable company. I expect to make back everything I've invested and then some. When we're making profits it'll be that much sweeter."
No plans for house shows this year, and when they do start doing them it will not be every weekend. Never wants to be running 5-6 days a week. He'd "like to settle into doing somewhere between 85 and 125 dates a year... but again, every person doesn't need to be on every show, and I don't really see why anyone would be wrestling 100 times a year or more, for us."
The 400-seat South Point Showroom is one of Las Vegas’ top off-Strip destinations for live entertainment, hosting renowned events as Tony Orlando, Frankie Avalon, The Lettermen and Tower of Power. We host nightlife acts such as the ever popular Spazmatics and Gregg Austin’s M-Town & more where our over 1100sq. ft. dance floor. comes alive! South Point Hotel, Casino & Spa is at 9777 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89183. “Official Hotel and Casino of Las Vegas Motor Speedway” and sponsor of the September 2021 Las Vegas NASCAR Monster Energy cup race, South Point 400. The Dirty at 12:30 on Las Vegas Blvd is a weekly late night stand-up comedy show taking place every Friday night inside the Grandview Lounge at the Southpoint Hotel and Casino. Rising Comedians from around the world, hosted and produced by Mr. Dirty himself Gabe Lopez. Come early for great seats or find yourself standing. South point is a very big place but you can enjoy the food,entertainment (we saw Crystal Gayle,she was great)If you like horse there are many events there.Also a huge bowling alley 60 lanes.The rooms were very nice and clean.All the staff was very friendly.We would go back,next … Reasonable price for 2 hour comedy. David Bowling January 7, 2017. I really like this place. Full service Casino, baja miguel's - south point casino las vegas • baja miguels south point casino las vegas • bathrooms at south point hotel and casino las vegas • South Point Hotel And Casino - Showroom Information and Address 9777 Las Vegas Blvd South Las Vegas, NV 89185 To buy South Point Hotel And Casino - Showroom tickets for sale Las Vegas at discounted prices, choose from the South Point Hotel And Casino - Showroom Las Vegas schedule and dates below. Stub offers cheap South Point Hotel And Casino - Showroom Las Vegas tickets for 2020 South Point The 2,163-room South Point is a huge upper-middle-range suburban hotel for those looking to be a little away from the frenzy of The Strip, but close enough to visit all the attractions offered there. The property is a self-contained resort with everything one could ever need on a trip to Vegas, including 11 restaurants, a pool, a large casino, a huge bowling alley, and even a movie theater and an equestrian center. Live music and comedians at The Showroom, conventions and equestrian events in the Arena, Movies presented in XD with Auro Sound at the Century Theatres, entertainment comes in many forms at the South Point Hotel & Casino. Immerse yourselve in Las Vegas' culture by surrounding yourself with entertainment. Not a bad place to stay especially during COVID. The staff is on point and things are well managed for the most part. Most things are open with reduced capacity, but there are lots of people especially on weekends which means lots of long lines and waiting for everything (2 hour waits to get into the buffet, for example!). During the week it is pretty quiet overall. South Point Hotel, Casino & Spa has partnered with Farnam, the leading horse care and supplies provider in the industry, on the property’s brand-new outdoor covered arena, Farnam Arena. Farnam, a long-standing partner of the South Point Arena and Equestrian Center, has been the sponsor of the center’s wash racks and farrier area for three years.
The South Point Hotel and Casino consists of a 25 story hotel tower and 90,000 square feet (8,400 m2) convention center located on a 60 acres (24 ha) site al... ***IMPORTANT PLEASE WATCH FULL VIDEO***On this Episode of season 3 we meet up with DCNC FAMILY and we take Ya'll to SOUTH POINT CASINO where Queen Julie & Ma... A quick sweep of the South Point casino from their lobby. See my other videos for a room review at South Point. Today we wonder about South Point Hotel and Casino on Las Vegas Blvd. South Point is another off the strip option with lots of food choices. Even though it i... Early morning walk down Las Vegas Boulevard to the South Point Casino. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators ... Insights on my recent visit to South Point Las Vegas after its Reopening, showing the new safety measures implemented. For more information, please go to the...
