Best of Vegas 2019 Winners - Las Vegas Weekly

NEW INFO 5 Results from share redemption are posted. Less than .2% redeemed. Very bullish as investors are showing extreme confidence in the future of PLBY.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/playboy-mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-120000721.html
NEW INFO 4 Definitive Agreement to purchase 100% of Lovers brand stores announced 2/1.
https://www.streetinsider.com/Corporate+News/Playboy+%28MCAC%29+Confirms+Deal+to+Acquire+Lovers/17892359.html
NEW INFO 3 I bought more on the dip today. 5081 total. Price rose AH to $12.38 (2.15%)
NEW INFO 2 Here is the full webinar.
https://icrinc.zoom.us/rec/play/9GWKdmOYumjWfZuufW3QXpe_FW_g--qeNbg6PnTjTMbnNTgLmCbWjeRFpQga1iPc-elpGap8dnDv8Zww.yD7DjUwuPmapeEdP?continueMode=true&tk=lEYc4F_FkKlgsmCIs6w0gtGHT2kbgVGbUju3cIRBSjk.DQIAAAAV8NK49xZWdldRM2xNSFNQcTBmcE00UzM3bXh3AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA&uuid=WN_GKWqbHkeSyuWetJmLFkj4g&_x_zm_rtaid=kR45-uuqRE-L65AxLjpbQw.1611967079119.2c054e3d3f8d8e63339273d9175939ed&_x_zm_rhtaid=866
NEW INFO 1 Live merger webinar with PLBY and MCAC on Friday January 29, 2021 at 12:00 NOON EST link below
https://mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/press-release-details/2021/Playboy-Enterprises-Inc.-and-Mountain-Crest-Acquisition-Corp-Participate-in-SPACInsider-ICR-Webinar-on-January-29th-at-12pm-ET/default.aspx
Playboy going public: Porn, Gambling, and Cannabis
!!!WARNING READING AHEAD!!! TL;DR at the end. It will take some time to sort through all the links and read/watch everything, but you should.
In the next couple weeks, Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp is taking Playboy public. The existing ticker MCAC will become PLBY. Special purpose acquisition companies have taken private companies public in recent months with great success. I believe this will be no exception. Notably, Playboy is profitable and has skyrocketing revenue going into a transformational growth phase.
Porn - First and foremost, let's talk about porn. I know what you guys are thinking. “Porno mags are dead. Why would I want to invest in something like that? I can get porn for free online.” Guess what? You are absolutely right. And that’s exactly why Playboy doesn’t do that anymore. That’s right, they eliminated their print division. And yet they somehow STILL make money from porn that people (see: boomers) pay for on their website through PlayboyTV, Playboy Plus, and iPlayboy. Here’s the thing: Playboy has international, multi-generational name recognition from porn. They have content available in 180 countries. It will be the only publicly traded adult entertainment (porn) company. But that is not where this company is going. It will help support them along the way. You can see every Playboy magazine through iPlayboy if you’re interested. NSFW links below:
https://www.playboy.com/
https://www.playboytv.com/
https://www.playboyplus.com/
https://www.iplayboy.com/
Gambling - Some of you might recognize the Playboy brand from gambling trips to places like Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Cancun, London or Macau. They’ve been in the gambling biz for decades through their casinos, clubs, and licensed gaming products. They see the writing on the wall. COVID is accelerating the transition to digital, application based GAMBLING. That’s right. What we are doing on Robinhood with risky options is gambling, and the only reason regulators might give a shit anymore is because we are making too much money. There may be some restrictions put in place, but gambling from your phone on your couch is not going anywhere. More and more states are allowing things like Draftkings, poker, state ‘lottery” apps, hell - even political betting. Michigan and Virginia just ok’d gambling apps. They won’t be the last. This is all from your couch and any 18 year old with a cracked iphone can access it. Wouldn’t it be cool if Playboy was going to do something like that? They’re already working on it. As per CEO Ben Kohn who we will get to later, “...the company’s casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth.” Honestly, I stopped researching Scientific Games' sports betting segment when I saw the word ‘omni-channel’. That told me all I needed to know about it’s success.
“Our SG Sports™ platform is an enhanced, omni-channel solution for online, self-service and retail fixed odds sports betting – from soccer to tennis, basketball, football, baseball, hockey, motor sports, racing and more.”
https://www.scientificgames.com/
https://www.microgaming.co.uk/
“This latter segment has become increasingly enticing for Playboy, and it said last week that it is considering new tie-ups that could include gaming operators like PointsBet and 888Holdings.”
https://calvinayre.com/2020/10/05/business/playboys-gaming-ops-could-get-a-boost-from-spac-purchase/
As per their SEC filing:
“Significant consumer engagement and spend with Playboy-branded gaming properties around the world, including with leading partners such as Microgaming, Scientific Games, and Caesar’s Entertainment, steers our investment in digital gaming, sports betting and other digital offerings to further support our commercial strategy to expand consumer spend with minimal marginal cost, and gain consumer data to inform go-to-market plans across categories.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tMDAA1
They are expanding into more areas of gaming/gambling, working with international players in the digital gaming/gambling arena, and a Playboy sportsbook is on the horizon.
https://www.playboy.com/read/the-pleasure-of-playing-with-yourself-mobile-gaming-in-the-covid-era
Cannabis - If you’ve ever read through a Playboy magazine, you know they’ve had a positive relationship with cannabis for many years. As of September 2020, Playboy has made a major shift into the cannabis space. Too good to be true you say? Check their website. Playboy currently sells a range of CBD products. This is a good sign. Federal hemp products, which these most likely are, can be mailed across state lines and most importantly for a company like Playboy, can operate through a traditional banking institution. CBD products are usually the first step towards the cannabis space for large companies. Playboy didn’t make these products themselves meaning they are working with a processor in the cannabis industry. Another good sign for future expansion. What else do they have for sale? Pipes, grinders, ashtrays, rolling trays, joint holders. Hmm. Ok. So it looks like they want to sell some shit. They probably don’t have an active interest in cannabis right? Think again:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/09/24/playboy-gets-serious-about-cannabis-law-reform-advocacy-with-new-partnership-grants/?sh=62f044a65cea
“Taking yet another step into the cannabis space, Playboy will be announcing later on Thursday (September, 2020) that it is launching a cannabis law reform and advocacy campaign in partnership with National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), Last Prisoner Project, Marijuana Policy Project, the Veterans Cannabis Project, and the Eaze Momentum Program.”
“According to information procured exclusively, the three-pronged campaign will focus on calling for federal legalization. The program also includes the creation of a mentorship plan, through which the Playboy Foundation will support entrepreneurs from groups that are underrepresented in the industry.” Remember that CEO Kohn from earlier? He wrote this recently:
https://medium.com/naked-open-letters-from-playboy/congress-must-pass-the-more-act-c867c35239ae
Seems like he really wants weed to be legal? Hmm wonder why? The writing's on the wall my friends. Playboy wants into the cannabis industry, they are making steps towards this end, and we have favorable conditions for legislative progress.
Don’t think branding your own cannabis line is profitable or worthwhile? Tell me why these 41 celebrity millionaires and billionaires are dummies. I’ll wait.
https://www.celebstoner.com/news/celebstoner-news/2019/07/12/top-celebrity-cannabis-brands/
Confirmation: I hear you. “This all seems pretty speculative. It would be wildly profitable if they pull this shift off. But how do we really know?” Watch this whole video:
https://finance.yahoo.com/video/playboy-ceo-telling-story-female-154907068.html
Man - this interview just gets my juices flowing. And highlights one of my favorite reasons for this play. They have so many different business avenues from which a catalyst could appear. I think paying attention, holding shares, and options on these staggered announcements over the next year is the way I am going to go about it. "There's definitely been a shift to direct-to-consumer," he (Kohn) said. "About 50 percent of our revenue today is direct-to-consumer, and that will continue to grow going forward.” “Kohn touted Playboy's portfolio of both digital and consumer products, with casino-style gaming, in particular, serving a crucial role under the company's new business model. Playboy also has its sights on the emerging cannabis market, from CBD products to marijuana products geared toward sexual health and pleasure.” "If THC does become legal in the United States, we have developed certain strains to enhance your sex life that we will launch," Kohn said. https://cheddar.com/media/playboy-goes-public-health-gaming-lifestyle-focus Oh? The CEO actually said it? Ok then. “We have developed certain strains…” They’re already working with growers on strains and genetics? Ok. There are several legal cannabis markets for those products right now, international and stateside. I expect Playboy licensed hemp and THC pre-rolls by EOY. Something like this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/842996758/10-playboy-pre-roll-tubes-limited?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=pre+roll+playboy&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1 Maintaining cannabis operations can be costly and a regulatory headache. Playboy’s licensing strategy allows them to pick successful, established partners and sidestep traditional barriers to entry. You know what I like about these new markets? They’re expanding. Worldwide. And they are going to be a bigger deal than they already are with or without Playboy. Who thinks weed and gambling are going away? Too many people like that stuff. These are easy markets. And Playboy is early enough to carve out their spot in each. Fuck it, read this too: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimosman/2020/10/20/playboy-could-be-the-king-of-spacs-here-are-three-picks/?sh=2e13dcaa3e05
Numbers: You want numbers? I got numbers. As per the company’s most recent SEC filing:
“For the year ended December 31, 2019, and the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s historical consolidated revenue was $78.1 million and $101.3 million, respectively, historical consolidated net income (loss) was $(23.6) million and $(4.8) million, respectively, and Adjusted EBITDA was $13.1 million and $21.8 million, respectively.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Licensing segment contributed $44.2 million in revenue and $31.1 million in net income.”
“In the ninth months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Direct-to-Consumer segment contributed $40.2 million in revenue and net income of $0.1 million.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Digital Subscriptions and Content segment contributed $15.4 million in revenue and net income of $7.4 million.”
They are profitable across all three of their current business segments.
“Playboy’s return to the public markets presents a transformed, streamlined and high-growth business. The Company has over $400 million in cash flows contracted through 2029, sexual wellness products available for sale online and in over 10,000 major retail stores in the US, and a growing variety of clothing and branded lifestyle and digital gaming products.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
Growth: Playboy has massive growth in China and massive growth potential in India. “In China, where Playboy has spent more than 25 years building its business, our licensees have an enormous footprint of nearly 2,500 brick and mortar stores and 1,000 ecommerce stores selling high quality, Playboy-branded men’s casual wear, shoes/footwear, sleepwear, swimwear, formal suits, leather & non-leather goods, sweaters, active wear, and accessories. We have achieved significant growth in China licensing revenues over the past several years in partnership with strong licensees and high-quality manufacturers, and we are planning for increased growth through updates to our men’s fashion lines and expansion into adjacent categories in men’s skincare and grooming, sexual wellness, and women’s fashion, a category where recent launches have been well received.” The men’s market in China is about the same size as the entire population of the United States and European Union combined. Playboy is a leading brand in this market. They are expanding into the women’s market too. Did you know CBD toothpaste is huge in China? China loves CBD products and has hemp fields that dwarf those in the US. If Playboy expands their CBD line China it will be huge. Did you know the gambling money in Macau absolutely puts Las Vegas to shame? Technically, it's illegal on the mainland, but in reality, there is a lot of gambling going on in China. https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/10/19/magic-johnson-and-uncle-buds-cbd-brand-enter-china-via-tmall-partnership/?sh=271776ca411e “In India, Playboy today has a presence through select apparel licensees and hospitality establishments. Consumer research suggests significant growth opportunities in the territory with Playboy’s brand and categories of focus.” “Playboy Enterprises has announced the expansion of its global consumer products business into India as part of a partnership with Jay Jay Iconic Brands, a leading fashion and lifestyle Company in India.” “The Indian market today is dominated by consumers under the age of 35, who represent more than 65 percent of the country’s total population and are driving India’s significant online shopping growth. The Playboy brand’s core values of playfulness and exploration resonate strongly with the expressed desires of today’s younger millennial consumers. For us, Playboy was the perfect fit.” “The Playboy international portfolio has been flourishing for more than 25 years in several South Asian markets such as China and Japan. In particular, it has strategically targeted the millennial and gen-Z audiences across categories such as apparel, footwear, home textiles, eyewear and watches.” https://www.licenseglobal.com/industry-news/playboy-expands-global-footprint-india It looks like they gave COVID the heisman in terms of net damage sustained: “Although Playboy has not suffered any material adverse consequences to date from the COVID-19 pandemic, the business has been impacted both negatively and positively. The remote working and stay-at-home orders resulted in the closure of the London Playboy Club and retail stores of Playboy’s licensees, decreasing licensing revenues in the second quarter, as well as causing supply chain disruption and less efficient product development thereby slowing the launch of new products. However, these negative impacts were offset by an increase in Yandy’s direct-to-consumer sales, which have benefited in part from overall increases in online retail sales so far during the pandemic.” Looks like the positives are long term (Yandy acquisition) and the negatives are temporary (stay-at-home orders).
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921006093/tm213766-1_defa14a.htm
This speaks to their ability to maintain a financially solvent company throughout the transition phase to the aforementioned areas. They’d say some fancy shit like “expanded business model to encompass four key revenue streams: Sexual Wellness, Style & Apparel, Gaming & Lifestyle, and Beauty & Grooming.” I hear “we’re just biding our time with these trinkets until those dollar dollar bill y’all markets are fully up and running.” But the truth is these existing revenue streams are profitable, scalable, and rapidly expanding Playboy’s e-commerce segment around the world.
"Even in the face of COVID this year, we've been able to grow EBITDA over 100 percent and revenue over 68 percent, and I expect that to accelerate going into 2021," he said. “Playboy is accelerating its growth in company-owned and branded consumer products in attractive and expanding markets in which it has a proven history of brand affinity and consumer spend.”
Also in the SEC filing, the Time Frame:
“As we detailed in the definitive proxy statement, the SPAC stockholder meeting to vote on the transaction has been set for February 9th, and, subject to stockholder approval and satisfaction of the other closing conditions, we expect to complete the merger and begin trading on NASDAQ under ticker PLBY shortly thereafter,” concluded Kohn.
The Players: Suhail “The Whale” Rizvi (HMFIC), Ben “The Bridge” Kohn (CEO), “lil” Suying Liu & “Big” Dong Liu (Young-gun China gang). I encourage you to look these folks up. The real OG here is Suhail Rizvi. He’s from India originally and Chairman of the Board for the new PLBY company. He was an early investor in Twitter, Square, Facebook and others. His firm, Rizvi Traverse, currently invests in Instacart, Pinterest, Snapchat, Playboy, and SpaceX. Maybe you’ve heard of them. “Rizvi, who owns a sprawling three-home compound in Greenwich, Connecticut, and a 1.65-acre estate in Palm Beach, Florida, near Bill Gates and Michael Bloomberg, moved to Iowa Falls when he was five. His father was a professor of psychology at Iowa. Along with his older brother Ashraf, a hedge fund manager, Rizvi graduated from Wharton business school.” “Suhail Rizvi: the 47-year-old 'unsocial' social media baron: When Twitter goes public in the coming weeks (2013), one of the biggest winners will be a 47-year-old financier who guards his secrecy so zealously that he employs a person to take down his Wikipedia entry and scrub his photos from the internet. In IPO, Twitter seeks to be 'anti-FB'” “Prince Alwaleed bin Talal of Saudi Arabia looks like a big Twitter winner. So do the moneyed clients of Jamie Dimon. But as you’ve-got-to-be-joking wealth washed over Twitter on Thursday — a company that didn’t exist eight years ago was worth $31.7 billion after its first day on the stock market — the non-boldface name of the moment is Suhail R. Rizvi. Mr. Rizvi, 47, runs a private investment company that is the largest outside investor in Twitter with a 15.6 percent stake worth $3.8 billion at the end of trading on Thursday (November, 2013). Using a web of connections in the tech industry and in finance, as well as a hearty dose of good timing, he brought many prominent names in at the ground floor, including the Saudi prince and some of JPMorgan’s wealthiest clients.” https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/technology/at-twitter-working-behind-the-scenes-toward-a-billion-dollar-payday.html Y’all like that Arab money? How about a dude that can call up Saudi Princes and convince them to spend? Funniest shit about I read about him: “Rizvi was able to buy only $100 million in Facebook shortly before its IPO, thus limiting his returns, according to people with knowledge of the matter.” Poor guy :(
He should be fine with the 16 million PLBY shares he's going to have though :)
Shuhail also has experience in the entertainment industry. He’s invested in companies like SESAC, ICM, and Summit Entertainment. He’s got Hollywood connections to blast this stuff post-merger. And he’s at least partially responsible for that whole Twilight thing. I’m team Edward btw.
I really like what Suhail has done so far. He’s lurked in the shadows while Kohn is consolidating the company, trimming the fat, making Playboy profitable, and aiming the ship at modern growing markets.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-twitter-ipo-rizvi-insight/insight-little-known-hollywood-investor-poised-to-score-with-twitter-ipo-idUSBRE9920VW20131003
Ben “The Bridge” Kohn is an interesting guy. He’s the connection between Rizvi Traverse and Playboy. He’s both CEO of Playboy and was previously Managing Partner at Rizvi Traverse. Ben seems to be the voice of the Playboy-Rizvi partnership, which makes sense with Suhail’s privacy concerns. Kohn said this:
“Today is a very big day for all of us at Playboy and for all our partners globally. I stepped into the CEO role at Playboy in 2017 because I saw the biggest opportunity of my career. Playboy is a brand and platform that could not be replicated today. It has massive global reach, with more than $3B of global consumer spend and products sold in over 180 countries. Our mission – to create a culture where all people can pursue pleasure – is rooted in our 67-year history and creates a clear focus for our business and role we play in people’s lives, providing them with the products, services and experiences that create a lifestyle of pleasure. We are taking this step into the public markets because the committed capital will enable us to accelerate our product development and go-to-market strategies and to more rapidly build our direct to consumer capabilities,” said Ben Kohn, CEO of Playboy.
“Playboy today is a highly profitable commerce business with a total addressable market projected in the trillions of dollars,” Mr. Kohn continued, “We are actively selling into the Sexual Wellness consumer category, projected to be approximately $400 billion in size by 2024, where our recently launched intimacy products have rolled out to more than 10,000 stores at major US retailers in the United States. Combined with our owned & operated ecommerce Sexual Wellness initiatives, the category will contribute more than 40% of our revenue this year. In our Apparel and Beauty categories, our collaborations with high-end fashion brands including Missguided and PacSun are projected to achieve over $50M in retail sales across the US and UK this year, our leading men’s apparel lines in China expanded to nearly 2500 brick and mortar stores and almost 1000 digital stores, and our new men’s and women’s fragrance line recently launched in Europe. In Gaming, our casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth. Our product strategy is informed by years of consumer data as we actively expand from a purely licensing model into owning and operating key high-growth product lines focused on driving profitability and consumer lifetime value. We are thrilled about the future of Playboy. Our foundation has been set to drive further growth and margin, and with the committed capital from this transaction and our more than $180M in NOLs, we will take advantage of the opportunity in front of us, building to our goal of $100M of adjusted EBITDA in 2025.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
Also, according to their Form 4s, “Big” Dong Liu and “lil” Suying Liu just loaded up with shares last week. These guys are brothers and seem like the Chinese market connection. They are only 32 & 35 years old. I don’t even know what that means, but it's provocative.
https://www.secform4.com/insider-trading/1832415.htm
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-ii-002600994.html
Y’all like that China money?
“Mr. Liu has been the Chief Financial Officer of Dongguan Zhishang Photoelectric Technology Co., Ltd., a regional designer, manufacturer and distributor of LED lights serving commercial customers throughout Southern China since November 2016, at which time he led a syndicate of investments into the firm. Mr. Liu has since overseen the financials of Dongguan Zhishang as well as provided strategic guidance to its board of directors, advising on operational efficiency and cash flow performance. From March 2010 to October 2016, Mr. Liu was the Head of Finance at Feidiao Electrical Group Co., Ltd., a leading Chinese manufacturer of electrical outlets headquartered in Shanghai and with businesses in the greater China region as well as Europe.”
Dr. Suying Liu, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp., commented, “Playboy is a unique and compelling investment opportunity, with one of the world’s largest and most recognized brands, its proven consumer affinity and spend, and its enormous future growth potential in its four product segments and new and existing geographic regions. I am thrilled to be partnering with Ben and his exceptional team to bring his vision to fruition.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
These guys are good. They have a proven track record of success across multiple industries. Connections and money run deep with all of these guys. I don’t think they’re in the game to lose.
I was going to write a couple more paragraphs about why you should have a look at this but really the best thing you can do is read this SEC filing from a couple days ago. It explains the situation in far better detail. Specifically, look to page 137 and read through their strategy. Also, look at their ownership percentages and compensation plans including the stock options and their prices. The financials look great, revenue is up 90% Q3, and it looks like a bright future.
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
I’m hesitant to attach this because his position seems short term, but I’m going to with a warning because he does hit on some good points (two are below his link) and he’s got a sizable position in this thing (500k+ on margin, I think). I don’t know this guy but he did look at the same publicly available info and make roughly the same prediction, albeit without the in depth gambling or cannabis mention. You can also search reddit for ‘MCAC’ and very few relevant results come up and none of them even come close to really looking at this thing.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gOvAd6lebs452hFlWWbxVjQ3VMsjGBkbJeXRwDwIJfM/edit?usp=sharing
“Also, before you people start making claims that Playboy is a “boomer” company, STOP RIGHT THERE. This is not a good argument. Simply put. The only thing that matters is Playboy’s name recognition, not their archaic business model which doesn’t even exist anymore as they have completely repurposed their business.”
“Imagine not buying $MCAC at a 400M valuation lol. Streetwear department is worth 1B alone imo.”
Considering the ridiculous Chinese growth as a lifestyle brand, he’s not wrong.
Current Cultural Significance and Meme Value: A year ago I wouldn’t have included this section but the events from the last several weeks (even going back to tsla) have proven that a company’s ability to meme and/or gain social network popularity can have an effect. Tik-tok, Snapchat, Twitch, Reddit, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter. They all have Playboy stuff on them. Kids in middle and highschool know what Playboy is but will likely never see or touch one of the magazines in person. They’ll have a Playboy hoodie though. Crazy huh? A lot like GME, PLBY would hugely benefit from meme-value stock interest to drive engagement towards their new business model while also building strategic coffers. This interest may not directly and/or significantly move the stock price but can generate significant interest from larger players who will.
Bull Case: The year is 2025. Playboy is now the world leader pleasure brand. They began by offering Playboy licensed gaming products, including gambling products, direct to consumers through existing names. By 2022, demand has skyrocketed and Playboy has designed and released their own gambling platforms. In 2025, they are also a leading cannabis brand in the United States and Canada with proprietary strains and products geared towards sexual wellness. Cannabis was legalized in the US in 2023 when President Biden got glaucoma but had success with cannabis treatment. He personally pushes for cannabis legalization as he steps out of office after his first term. Playboy has also grown their brand in China and India to multi-billion per year markets. The stock goes up from 11ish to 100ish and everyone makes big gains buying somewhere along the way.
Bear Case: The United States does a complete 180 on marijuana and gambling. President Biden overdoses on marijuana in the Lincoln bedroom when his FDs go tits up and he loses a ton of money in his sports book app after the Fighting Blue Hens narrowly lose the National Championship to Bama. Playboy is unable to expand their cannabis and gambling brands but still does well with their worldwide lifestyle brand. They gain and lose some interest in China and India but the markets are too large to ignore them completely. The stock goes up from 11ish to 13ish and everyone makes 15-20% gains.
TL;DR: Successful technology/e-commerce investment firm took over Playboy to turn it into a porn, online gambling/gaming, sports book, cannabis company, worldwide lifestyle brand that promotes sexual wellness, vetern access, women-ownership, minority-ownership, and “pleasure for all”. Does a successful online team reinventing an antiquated physical copy giant sound familiar? No options yet, shares only for now. $11.38 per share at time of writing. My guess? $20 by the end of February. $50 by EOY. This is not financial advice. I am not qualified to give financial advice. I’m just sayin’ I would personally use a Playboy sports book app while smoking a Playboy strain specific joint and it would be cool if they did that. Do your own research. You’d probably want to start here:
WARNING - POTENTIALLY NSFW - SEXY MODELS AHEAD - no actual nudity though
https://s26.q4cdn.com/895475556/files/doc_presentations/Playboy-Craig-Hallum-Conference-Investor-Presentation-11_17_20-compressed.pdf
Or here:
https://www.mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/default.aspx
Jimmy Chill: “Get into any SPAC at $10 or $11 and you are going to make money.”
STL;DR: Buy MCAC. MCAC > PLBY couple weeks. Rocketship. Moon.
Position: 5000 shares. I will buy short, medium, and long-dated calls once available.

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Book Rey Mysterio If He Never Joined WWE in 2018 - Part 2: Booyaka

Part 1 here
In this part, we saw Rey Mysterio jump onto the scene of NJPW. He started off hot, taking on his two amigos in Jushin Thunder Liger and Hiroshi Tanahashi respectively. At King of Pro-Wrestling, he defeated Liger - but fell to The Ace in a match for his G1 Climax briefcase. He then won the IWGP United States Championship off of Cody to end his offspring of Bullet Club, and would embark on a title reign. He successfully defended against Bandido last time we saw him, and now he moves onto his next challenger.
Book Rey Mysterio If He Never Joined WWE in 2018 - Part 2: Booyaka
G1 Supercard:
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Tomohiro Ishii - IWGP United States Championship
Rey Mysterio skips out on the New Japan Cup, and instead prepares for the G1 Supercard. It will be the biggest show NJPW have held in America, and since he’s the United States Champion he will be defending. Rey ventures off to GCW for Joey Janela’s Spring Break, taking part in the Clusterfuck as a surprise entrant. On Night Two, after Janela faces off with Jungle Boy - he calls out Rey to a match for a later date. Mysterio doesn’t respond, instead he’s in Madison Square Garden to face off against a New Japan semi-finalist, Tomohiro Ishii. He lost to Okada in the semis, and is angry. He wants to take his anger out on someone, and the IWGP United States Champion is his next victim.
He fought in the inaugural title match but came up short to Kenny Omega, but now he has his chance to become the first Japanese man to hold it. After seeing Mayu Iwatani retain the Women of Honor Championship, we move to our next match - as Tomohiro Ishii walks out to a loud MSG pop. In the front row are Mysterio’s daughter, Aalyah and his wife. Then we see his son, Dominick, as a young lion at ringside. He got kicked in the head by Minoru Suzuki earlier so he’s just having a great time. They’re dad then enters out in the same gear he wore to the actual WrestleMania that weekend, as the villain “Mysterio” from Spider-Man Homecoming. He walks out with the gold Tomohiro lusts for, and rolls inside to pose with it on the second rope.
The bell is rung and Mysterio goes to lock up - BUT ISHII GRABS HIM INTO A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! HE FOLLOWS WITH A BRIDGING GERMAN!! 1.........2.....KICK OUT BY REY REY!!! Mysterio is shocked at the sudden attack, and scurries up in the corner. ISHII GOES FOR A CLOTHESLINE BUT REY TURNS IT INTO A CRUCIFIX PIN!!! 1........ISHII KICKS OUT AND IS HIT BY A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! REY WITH A HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN!! Rey regains and takes a moment to intake what’s happening, and GOES FOR A SHIRANUI!! ISHII COUNTERS WITH A SPIKE DDT!!! 1..............2..........KICK OUT INTO A POWERBOMB!!!! 1.............2..........TOMOHIRO LOCKS IN A BOSTON CRAB!! There is no escape for Mysterio from this rabid dog - who is hungry. Ishii locks in the hold and cinches it tighter.
REY GOES TO FLIP HIM OUT, BUT ISHII GETS RIGHT BACK UP AND HITS HIM WITH A BOOT TO THE HEAD!! ISHII LIFTS HIM UP INTO A SNAP SUPLEX!! Tomohiro Ishii is now on the hunt, as he starts to unleash chops. OPEN HAND TO THE CHEST!! Rey falls to the mat, but is scooped back up into OVERHEAD CHOP!! Rey crumples to the mat again and starts to cough. ISHII THROWS HIM OUTSIDE INTO THE ARMS OF HIS SON!! ISHII THEN WITH A BIG BOOT ON THE FLOOR TO DOMINICK, AND THROWS HIM INTO THE APRON!! Ishii looks down at the fallen young boy - BUT IS THEN HIT BY A ENZIGURI FROM REY!!! MYSTERIO HITS A FRONT DROPKICK INTO THE RING POST!! HE THROWS HIM BACK INSIDE AND DIVES WITH A FROGSPLASH!!! 1.............2..........KICK OUT!!! ISHII ROLLS THROUGH AND LIFTS MYSTERIO UP INTO A VERTICAL SUPLEX!!! 1...........MYSTERIO GETS OUT!!!
The crowd are going nuts at these two guys fighting spirit. ISHII GOES FOR A GERMAN SUPLEX, BUT REY FLIPS OUT AND HITS A HEADSCISSORS!! HE GOES FOR A 619 - BUT ISHII SPINS HIM TO THE OUTSIDE!! TOMOHIRO RUNS THE ROPES, BUT IS HIT BY A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY!! He lifts Ishii up and runs the ropes, TO HIT A BULLDOG!! INTO A TORNADO DDT!! He calls for a 619, as Ishii crawls to the ropes. HE HITS IT!! HE DIVES FOR THE SEATED SENTON - BUT NO NECK TOM CATCHES AND HITS A BRAINBUSTER!!! 1...............2..............MYSTERIO KICKS OUT!!! Everyone explodes that Rey kicked out, and Ishii is still that angry dog - but he just got a whiff of a juicy steak. Tom lifts him up, looks him dead in his dead eyes - AND HEADBUTTS HIM TO SHIT!!
ISHII FURTHER TARGETS THE HEAD WITH AN ENZIGURI!! HE RUNS FOR A LARIAT, BUT REY DUCKS AND HITS A MYSTERIO-RANA!! ISHII KICKS OUT AND ROLLS INTO THAT LARIAT!!! ISHII GOES FOR A BRAINBUSTER, BUT MYSTERIO EVADES AND HITS THE MYSTERIO-EXPRESS!! ISHII NO SELLS AND IS HIT BY A ENZIGURI!! ISHII NO SELLS AND HITS REY WITH A THREE AMIGOS!! He mocks his fallen friend Eddie with those moves - and that fuels Rey’s fire. REY WITH A SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENTON!! HE HITS A HEADSCISSORS AND CALLS FOR A 619!!! HE CONNECTS!!! SPRINGBOARD SPLASH!!!! 1...........2........KICK OUT!!!!!! ISHII LIFTS HIMSELF UP WITH A PRIMAL ROAR, AN HITS THE ISHII DRILLER!!!!! 1................2................3!!!! TOMOHIRO ISHII WINS AND BECOMES YOUR NEW, AND FIRST EVER JAPANESE, IWGP UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!!
Tomohiro Ishii defeats Rey Mysterio (12:51)
PROGRESS Chapter 88: Super Strong Style 16:
Marty Scurll vs. Rey Mysterio
With his United States Championship lost, ending his 92 day reign, Mysterio heads away from Japan for a while to regain himself. He’s confirmed to show up at PROGRESS‘ Super Strong Style, but later revealed that he won’t actually participate - instead wrestle on the last night in a standard singles match with no prizes but merit. Meanwhile, his opponent is scheduled to be...Marty Scurll. A man who hasn’t appeared in PROGRESS in a long while, mainly because he’s in the middle of a ROH World Championship reign. Having begun his reign in June of 2018, Marty still holds it. He’ll return to PROGRESS for this night however, as he wants to face Rey…badly. After Dominion last year when Rey lost to Marty, he’s wanted to defeated him one on one. A year of wait, and he finally gets his chance. The ultimate hero vs. The ultimate villain, it’s like a comic book finale.
In the lead up, Marty cuts a promo on Mysterio. In it he is as snivelling as ever, offering his wife Angie a night with him and calling Dominick “a giant lummocks“. Then when the third night of the Super Strong Style 16 arrives, we hear Rey Mysterio’s entrance music for the first time in PROGRESS history, as he enters to a raucous pop from the Alexandra Palace. Alexandra Park in London lose their minds for the Lucha Libre legend, who comes out in Black Knight attire (a Marvel superhero from Britain). The fans love him and he shakes hand with Jim Smallman as he enters. Marty Scurll’s reception is mixed, but he certainly wants it to be vocally harsh. He takes beer out of fans hands and spits it at them, which certainly turns their reactions around.
The two men stare down after the bell is rung, a seismic stare. Rey puts his hand up with two fingers, but so does Scurll. They then both do the “2-0-5” taunt in sync. The crowd laugh, which Marty doesn’t like. He taunts on the second turnbuckle to earn their ire. Rey does the same and receives a good response. Scurll then jumps off and walks over to Rey - WHO DIVES AT HIM WITH A HURRICANERANA! They then run the ropes, AND MARTY CATCHES HIM WITH AN ARM DRAG HANDSPRING! MYSTERIO HITS HIS OWN ARM DRAG! Marty runs the ropes but Rey goes for a FRONT DROPKICK - but Marty halts so Rey misses the boat. SCURLL THEN DOUBLE FOOT STOMPS ON THE LUCHADORS FEET!! He lifts him up and starts to chop his chest.
Marty finishes the chops, AND THEN HITS A ROPE-ASSISTED ENZIGURI!! He stomps on Rey while he shouts at fans who boo him, telling them to be louder. He smashes his knee into a kneeling Rey, and then lifts him into a Gory Special!! REY ESCAPES WITH A SUNSET FLIP!! HE RUNS THE ROPES AND GOES FOR A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY, BUT SCURLL CATCHES WITH A SITOUT SUPLEX SLAM!! HE RUNS THE ROPES AND HITS A PENALTY KICK!! HE LOCKS IN AN OCTOPUS HOLD!! He wrenches on it, but Rey shuffles to the ropes. Scurll then slides outside to shout at a fan who insulted him. SCURLL IS THEN HIT BY A SUICIDE DIVE INTO A HEADSCISSORS BY MYSTERIO!! REY THROWS HIM INSIDE AND HITS A FROGSPLASH!!! 1................2............KICK OUT!!! MARTY DOESN’T DIE AFTER THE SURPRISE ATTACK!!
Rey is now out of his trance of being beaten down and is back in the fight. Scurll goes for a Wheelbarrow Bodyscissors but Rey counters with an Arm Drag! HE GOES FOR A SUNSET FLIP PIN BUT SCURLL BREAKS OUT WITH A LANZA!! SCURLL THEN LIFTS REY UP FOR A GERMAN SUPLEX!! HE CONNECTS, AND GOES FOR ANOTHER! BUT MYSTERIO FLIPS OUT AND HITS A HEADSCISSORS!! HE THEN CONNECTS A BASEBALL SLIDEFOLLOWED BY HEADSCISSORS!! Rey is on a roll as he dances like Eddie outside. Scurll goes to push him into a fans seat, but Mysterio ducks and PUSHES HIM INTO THE APRON!! They then fight there. Scurll knocks Rey off and CONNECTS A SUPERKICK FROM THE APRON!! HE THEN DIVES OUT WITH A MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR!!
Now they’re both on the ground. Scurll is dead and so is Rey. They crawl up by the fans laps. Scurll asks a fan to hold Rey in place as he lines up a Penalty Kick. MYSTERIO EVADES BEFORE THE KICK CONNECTS AND PUSHES HIM ONTO A GROUP OF FANS SEATS!! HE THEN DIVES OFF THE SECOND ROPE WITH A CROSSBODY - OVER THE FANS HEADS TO SCURLL!! They’re both even more dead than before and spend time climbing out of the wreckage, through fans and bent and fallen chairs. Rey navigates his way back while Marty writhes in the agony. Once back in the ring Mysterio dives for a Seated Senton - BUT IS HIT BY A SUPERKICK!! SCURLL HITS THE BLACK PLAGUE AND ROLLS INTO THE CROSSFACED CHICKENWING!! REY GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!! Scurll angrily lets go, throwing the luchador to the mat.
They’re back up and the contest is still on. Rey knocks Scurll down with a SUNSET FLIP INTO A ROUNDHOUSE KICK, AND THEN HITS THE DROPPIN DA DIME!!! 1.............2...........KICK OUT!!! MYSTERIO LIFTS SCURLL UP AND GOES FOR A BULLDOG, BUT MARTY HITS A BACKBREAKER RACK DROPPED INTO A FACEBUSTER!! SCURLL JUMPS FOR A TORNADO DDT - BUT MYSTERIO CATCHES WTH A DROPKICK!! HE THEN FLIES WITH HIS OWN TORNADO DDT!! 1...........2.........SCURLL ROLLS OUT AND GOES FOR THE TORNADO DDT, BUT MYSTERIO CATCHES HIM WITH A SUPER HURRICANERANA!! MARTY LANDS ON HIS FEET AND HITS THE PARTY’S OVER!! HIS OLD FINISHER BUSTED OUT ON THIS OCCASION!!! HE COVERS, 1...............2...............MYSTERIO KICKS OUT JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!
They roll outside to recover after the big rush of counters. Scurll is first up and walks over to Rey’s daughter and wife. He tries to chat them up, BUT REY TURNS HIM AROUND INTO A THROW INTO THE RING POST!! HE HITS A BIG BOOT INTO THE STEEL!! Rey then sets up a wooden table, and brings Scurll up to the apron. They both trade forearms there. Marty jumps to the second rope, possibly looking for a TORNADO DDT!! REY BRINGS HIM DOWN AND HITSMA HURRICANERANA OFF THE APRON!! SCURLL CRASHES DOWN THROUGH THE WOODEN TABLE ONTO THE WOODEN FLOOR!! Scurll grabs his back in utter agony, his spine crushed by the wooden table and floor. Rey then picks him off the mat and rolls him inside.
Rey is looking to end it now, as he climbs up for a SPRINGBOARD SPLASH!! HE THEN LOOKS FOR A 619, BUT SCURLL HITS A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!! SCURLL THEN GOES FOR A KNEELING REVERSE PILEDRIVER!! MYSTERIO COUNTERS WITH A ROLL UP FOLLOWED BY A FRONT DROPKICK AFTER THE KICK OUT! REY THEN CLIMBS UP FOR A DIVING WEST COAST POP!! 1............2.........KICK OUT!! REY GOES FOR ANOTHER - BUT ITS CAUGHT!! MARTY CATCHES HIM INTO A BIRD OF PREY!! HE HITS A TORNADO DDT!! HE FINALLY LOCKS IN THE CROSSFACED CHICKENWING!! REY ESCAPES AND SWINGS AROUND THE ROPES IN A 619 BUT IS HIT BY A SUPERKICK!! SCURLL THEN LOCKS IN THE CROSSFACED CHICKENWING WITH A BODYSCISSORS!! REY TAPS OUT!!!
Marty Scurll defeats Rey Mysterio (19:58)
Dominion 2019:
Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Rey Mysterio - IWGP Heavyweight Championship
At Wrestling Dontaku, we see Kazuchika Okada and SANADA face off for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in Night Two’s main event on May 4th. Afterwards, Rey Mysterio appears on video where he says he will return to New Japan at Dominion to take on Okada for his IWGP Heavyweight Championship. The Rainmaker then states that in his post-match press conference, that he’s always wanted to face Rey Mysterio and that he’ll be happy to do it. Rey is a good and honourable man who deserves this title match after 25 years of wrestling. Okada is happy to give him the opportunity but makes sure Mysterio knows, he won’t win.
Later in the month is AEW’s Double or Nothing. The highly anticipated show features a plethora of talent and star studded match ups, after the Jacksonville and Las Vegas rallies individually. Rey Mysterio appears at neither however despite heavy rumour and speculation. However, to open the show we see the Casino Battle Royale. In this we get a bomb dropped on us - the debut of Mysterio in AEW. Entering as the Joker, he comes and cleans house. It comes down to him and Adam Page, who face off in a 5-minute long battle. The winner will face either Kenny Omega or Chris Jericho at All Out for the AEW World Championship so the stakes are high. In the end, Hangman eliminates Rey after a Buckshot and Superkick combo.
Then two weeks later is Dominion. For the first time ever, Rey Mysterio will challenge for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. After a hell of the show we reach the main event. We’ve seen Dragon Lee vs. Will Ospreay, and Kota Ibushi vs. Tetsuya Naito, and now we’re here. Rey Mysterio cuts a promo earlier in the show about how this means the world to him, this opportunity, and that he needs to win. He will never get a chance like this again, and can’t waste it. Mysterio represents is no-nonsense ordeal, as he comes out dressed as The Punisher. He’s got the navy singlet, with a skull across it. His mask then has the skull as well on it. Mysterio taunts on the second rope, but then Okada comes out. It’s the same thing he felt against Tanahashi and Liger, just being in the presence of someone on another world.
When the bell rings, they don’t lock up straight away. They take in the magnitude of the stage and suck it all in. About a minute passes of this, before they lock up. They get into a collar and elbow, and Rey spins into a waist lock. Okada arm drags him off and cinches in a chinlock. Rey tries to flip out but Okada simply lowers down with him. HE THEN HITS A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!! Okada cinches in another chinlock. Rey gets up and Irish whips Okada to the ropes. The Rainmaker rebounds and connects a Shoulder Block to take Mysterio down. Rey gets up while Okada runs the ropes, and hits a HEADSCISSORS! Mysterio ducks under a clothesline and cinches the waistlock. He takes Okada down and applies a nerve hold, then hits a Spinal Tap!
Okada lifts himself up and runs the ropes for a Short-arm Lariat! Rey stumbles back and rolls into a VICTORY ROLL!! 1........2.....KICK OUT!! OKADA GETS UP WITH A SHOULDER BLOCK, AND THEN RUNS THE ROPES FOR A RONT DROPKICK INTO THE CORNER!! Mysterio takes a Bret Hart sell of falling on impact. OKADA LIFTS HIM FOR A FLAPJACK BUT REY FLIPS OUT AND HITS AN ARM DRAG!! HE RUNS THE ROPES BUT IS CAUGHT IN A WHEELBARROW !BODYSCISSORS, THAT IS COUNTERED WITH A BULLDOG!! FLYING HEADSCISSORS BY MYSTERIO!! HE RUNS THE ROPES BUT OKADA HITS THE FLAPJACK AND FOLLOWS WITH A MILLION DOLLAR DROPKICK!! Okada then lifts Mysterio up and throws him to the corner, and starts to apply shoulder blocks.
Okada Irish whips Mysterio who LEAPFROGS THE RAINMAKER AND HITS A MYSTERIO-EXPRESS!!! 1..........2.......KICK OUT!! OKADA WITH ANOTHER SHORT-ARM LARIAT!! Okada connects a European Uppercut to a kneeling Rey! This is the cut off, and The Rainmaker starts to stomp down on him. He lifts Mysterio up and Irish whips Rey, who jumps to the second rope AND DIVES OFF WITH A DIVING HURRICANERANA!!! OKADA ROLLS THROUGH AND CONNECTS A OPEN HAND CHOP!! DROPKICK!! HE LIFTS REY UP FOR A BACKBODY DROP BUT MYSTERIO EVADES AND HITS A SPINNING WHEEL KICK!! Rey is back in the fight, and runs the ropes for a RUNNING CROSSBODY!! HE HITS A TILT-A-WHIRL TORNADO DDT!! 1..........2........KICK OUT!!!
Rey pulls himself up by the ropes, hoping the comeback got him. He punches the air, but lifts The Rainmaker up. He heads to the apron and awaits Okada - BUT SUNSET FLIPS OVER! REY ROLLS HIM AND HITS A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! Mysterio then runs the ropes but OKADA WITH A BIG BOOT!! HE HITS THE HEAVY RAIN!! 1........2.........KICK OUT!!! REY PULLS HIMSELF UP AND HITS A LOU THESZ PRESS!! HE GOES FOR A SHIRANUI - BUT OKADA DUMPS HIM ONTO THE MAT!! Rey doesn’t get up from that one, feeling the pain. Okada stomps on him and kicks the head, THEN GOES FOR A DDT!! MYSTERIO SLIDES OUT AND HITS A HEADSCISSORS!! HE RUNS THE ROPES AND CONNECTS THE 619 OUT OF NOWHERE!! He climbs the ropes and points to the crowd - DIVING SPLASH!! 1.........2.........KICK OUT FROM THE RAINMAKER!!!
Rey gets desperate to end it and HITS A BASEBALL SLIDE TO THE OUTSIDE!! HE FOLLOWS WITH A SUICIDE DIVE INTO A HEADSCISSORS!! Okada falls into the guardrail both times, feeling the steel on his back. Rey goes to Irish whip but Okada reverses into his own. Rey then hops the guardrail and awaiting to see what Okada does. OKADA THEN DIVES OVER THE GUARDRAIL WITH THE SCOOBY DOOBY DOO!!! They both lay dead, as the referee counts down from 20. Eventually they get back up, after a lot of stumbling and tumbling. They get back in and REY DIVES WITH THE WEST COAST POP!! 1.........2.......OKADA ROLLS OUT OF IT WITH REY ON HIS BACK!!! ALABAMA SLAM!!! KICKOUT!!! HE LOCKS IN THE DEEP IN DEBT BUT REY GETS OUT!! HE RUNS TO THE CORBER BUT SO DOES OKADA WHO HITS A RUNNING BACK ELBOW!! HE THEN CONNECTS THE AIR RAID CRASH NECKBREAKER!!! 1...............2.............KICK OUT!!!!
Both guys have kicked out a bunch of times, but now they’re down to the last minute. They’ve gone over 20 minutes and start to trade forearms. They double down after their fifth blows. They crawl by the corners - AND REY HITS THE AIR MYSTERIO!! HE RUNS UP FOR A MYSTERIO-RANA!!!! 1...........2........OKADA ROLS OUT AND HITS A SCOOP SLAM!! HE THEN CLIMBS THE ROPES - AND DIVES WITH A DIVING ELBOW DROP!! HE LIFTS HIM UP FOR A RAINMAKER - BUT MYSTERIO DUCKS UNDER AND HITS A POISONED RANA!!! HE DIVES IN WITH A SPRINGBOARD SITOUT FACEBUSTER!! REY GOES FOR ANOTHER MYSTERIO EXPRESS, BUT OKADA COUNTERS AND LOCKS IN THE DEEP IN DEBT!! MYSTERIO ESCAPES, BUT IS LOCKED IN WITH A COBRA CLUTCH!!!! REY REACHES THE ROPES!!! HE GOES FOR A 619 BUT OKADA CATCHES AND HITS THE RAINMAKER!!!! 1................2.................3!!!!!!
Kazuchika Okada defeats Rey Mysterio (26:13)
Fyter Fest 2019:
The Elite (Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson) vs. Rey Mysterio and The Lucha Brothers (Fénix and Pentagon Jr.) - Six-man Tag Team Match
With the launch of All Elite Wrestling, many peoples attention have been grabbed. Double or Nothing as we know saw Rey Mysterio make his shock debut to open the main show as the Joker slot in the Casino Battle Royale. Him and Hangman Adam Page had a war as the final two, ending with Page winning. Now comes Fyter Fest, however this scheduled match between The Elite and The Lucha Bros/Pac has been altered. Pac pulls out and so the replacement is revealed on The Road To Fyter Fest, where Rey Mysterio is interviewed and then he announces he will be the partner of the Lucha Bros. This is the official main event of Fyter Fest, as the actual last match is Unsanctioned.
The Young Bucks enter first dressed as Ryu and Ken each, both posing on the stage until…the lights go down. A fan walks on stage, but then they go down again. KENNY APPEARS AS AKUMA’S RAGING DEMON!! He holds the finger gun over the fans body and makes his way down to the ring with his Elite stablemates. Then comes The Lucha Brothers. On the stage are Fénix and Pentagon dressed in their skull masks and hoodies. They both walk out but point to the centre, WHERE OUT COMES REY MYSTERIO!! Rey unhoods from his blue cloak to reveal his normal mask. He is dressed as Death from the Castlevania series in line with the whole skeleton aesthetic as well as for the video game tie-in.
“Round 1 – FIGHT!” yells Justin Roberts as Nick Jackson and Rey Mysterio start us off. They go into a lockup and start to push forward and back. Nick lifts himself to the second rope and tightropes it, before jumping down with an Arm Drag. Rey rolls through with that but jumps back in a Rana. They both run the ropes but Nick leapfrogs and Mysterio rolls under, then springboards off with a Crossbody. A cover goes nowhere and Nick kips up for his own arm drag, followed by a Back Body Drop that Rey flips out of. They then go to a stalemate at this point and reposition in their respective corners. Kenny whispers to Nick while Mysterio stretches on the ropes. They both then move forward to the centre.
Rey hits an Overhead Chop and follows with an Open Hand to the chest. He does this while maintaining wrist control. He then hits a Roundhouse Kick and an Enziguri, and runs up the ropes, then dives off with a CROSSBODY! Nick goes for a Superkick once up, but Rey spins him into a Spinning Wheel Kick attempt, which Nick spins and they HIT STEREO SUPERKICKS!! THEY THEN DOUBLE DOWN WITH CLOTHESLINES!! While their down, in come the others. EVERY TRIO IS IN THE RING AND A BRAWL BREAKS LOOSE! Kenny and Penta are going at it while Matt and Fénix do battle. They trade slaps and chops and kicks, until Mysterio and Nick are back up. REY HITS A AIR MYSTERIO TO NICK JACKSON!! The Lucha Bros then hit Superkicks to Kenny and Matt to take them outside. ALL THE LUCHADORS THEN DIVE OUT AFTER THE ELITE!!
They all enter the ring and isolate Matt. The Bros hit Superkicks and hold him in place for a MYSTERIO EXPRESS!! Nick comes inside but is hit by a Hook Kick, and then with a SEATED SENTON FROM REY!! FÉNIX WITH A DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT TO NICK!!! 1……..2…..KICK OUT!!!!! The Bros roll out and Nick and Mysterio keep going. They trade forearms, until Rey tags in Fénix. Fénix comes in hot with a Springboard Front Missile Dropkick to Nick. He looks for a double team with Pentagon, BUT NICK HITS THEM BOTH WITH A DROPSAULT!! HE TAGS IN MATT! MATT COMES IN WITH A TOPE CON HILO TO BOTH GUYS!1 HE HITS A NORTHERN LIGHTS ON PENTAGON WITH AN O’CONNOR ROLL ON FÉNIX!! 1………2……KICK OUT!! HIM AND NICK THEN HIT DOUBLE SLINGSHOT SITOUT FACEBUSTERS!!
Matt then gets a tag to Kenny Omega. OMEGA IS IN! Kenny runs straight forward with a Dropkick to Pentagon sending him outside. He hits a Backbreaker to a tagged in Mysterio , 1……2….KICK OUT!! HE GOES FOR THE YOU CAN’T ESCAPE!! BUT IT IS INDEED ESCAPED! MYSTERIO DIVES OFF THE TOP WITH A MOONSAULT!! Kenny recovers himself, BEFORE DIVING OUTSIDE WITH A RISE OF THE TERMINATOR TO PENTAGON!! PENTAGON CUTS HIM OFF! Cero…Miedo – AND THEY START TO FIGHT ON THE OUTSIDE!! They go to the apron where Pentagon lays in some chops, BUT OMEGA WITH A KOTARO KRUSHER ON THE APRON!! THE BUCKS THEN SEND FÉNIX TO THE FLOOR WITH A BACK BODY DROP + CANNONBALL SENTON COMBO!!
Now all The Elite are inside and isolate Rey Mysterio. The Elite triple team him, with Matt and Nick holding Rey in place for A V-TRIGGER!! FOLLOWED BY A GERMAN SUPLEX!! KENNY HITS THE YOU CAN’T ESCAPE!! MATT FOLLOWS WITH A TOP ROPE ELBOW AND NICK WITH A SWANTON!!! 1………2……KICK OUT!!!! They pick him up and The Bucks try to double team. MYSTERIO MOVES AND MATT SPEARS NICK!! ENZIGURI FROM MYSTERIO TO OMEGA!! HE TAGS IN PENTAGON!! Pentagon comes in and chops everyone, and then hits a Double Japanese Arm Drag on Matt and Nick! SUPERKICK TO KENNY FOLLOWED BY A LUNGBLOWER!! Kenny rolls out, but then FÉNIX SPRINGBOARDS TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A TORNILLO TO OMEGA!! REY FOLLOWS WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!! PENTAGON THEN HITS A LANZA TO MATT BACK IN THE RING AND COVERS! 1………2…….KICK OUT!!!
MATT FIRES BACK!! RUNNING CANADIAN DESTROYER TO PENTAGON – FOLLOWED BY A SPEAR!! Omega tags in and fights off all the luchadors, AND HITS DRAGON SUPLEXS ON ALL OF THEM!! Pentagon cuts him off again, AND SUPERKICKS NICK! HE TOSSES FÉNIX ONTO HIM WITH A MOONSAULT!! REY THEN HITS A WEST COAST POP ON KENNY!! 1…….2…..KICK OUT!!!! Mysterio then picks him up and hits THREE ROUNDHOUSE KICKS!! THE WHOLE MATCH THEN BREAKS DOWN INTO A SUPERKICK PARTY!! The Elite rally, BUT EAT SUPERKICKS!! THEY FIRE BACK WITH HADOKENS!! EVERY LUCHADOR HIT BY LIGER BOMBS!! NICK THEN WITH ASSISTED 450 SPLASHES ON FÉNIX AND MYSTERO!! PENTAGON MAKES THE SAVE! NICK WITH A SLINGSHOT X-FACTOR!! PENTAGON WITH A SLINGBLADE! OMEGA WITH THE V-TRIGGER!!
FÉNIX THEN FLIES IN WITH A CUTTER!! NICK CUTS HIM OFF WITH A NECKBREAKER!! FÉNIX THEN HITS THE SPANISH FLY TO NICK, OFF THE ROPES, INTO MATT AND PENTAGON ON THE FLOOR!! This takes those guys out but we still have Mysterio and Omega. KENNY HITS A V-TRIGGER OUT OF MIDAIR, AND THE TIGER DRIVER 98!!! 1………..2………KICK OUT!! KENNY WITH ANOTHER V-TRIGGER AND GOES FOR THE ONE-WINGED ANGEL – BUT REY HEADSCISSORS OUT!! HE CALLS FOR THE 619 AND CONNECTS IT!! HE THEN FLIES HIGH WITH THE WEST COAST POP TO FINISH OMEGA!!!!! 1……………..2………………3!!! THE LUCHADORS WIN THE BOUT, AND REY MYSTERIO PINS KENNY OMEGA CLEAN!!
The Lucha Brothers and Rey Mysterio defeat The Elite (20:20)

What a USL D1 league might look like

TL;DR: Man with too much time on his hands goes deep down the rabbit hole on a concept this sub already didn’t seem that enthusiastic about. If you really want to skip ahead, CTRL+F “verdict” and it’ll get you there.
Two days ago, u/MrPhillyj2wns made a post asking whether USL should launch a D1 league in order to compete in Concacaf. From the top voted replies, it appears this made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
But I’ve been at home for eight weeks and I am terribly, terribly bored.
So, I present to you this overview of what the USL pyramid might look like if Jake Edwards got a head of steam and attempted to establish a USSF-sanctioned first division. This is by no means an endorsement of such a proposal or even a suggestion that USL SHOULD do such a thing. It is merely an examination of whether they COULD.
Welcome to the ~~Thunderdome~~ USL Premiership
First, there are some base-level assumptions we must make in this exercise, because it makes me feel more scientific and not like a guy who wrote this on Sunday while watching the Belarusian Premier League (Go BATE Borisov!).

All D1 teams must comply with known USSF requirements for D1 leagues (more on that later).
MLS, not liking this move, will immediately remove all directly-owned affiliate clubs from the USL structure (this does not include hybrid ownerships, like San Antonio FC – NYCFC). This removes all MLS2 teams but will not affect Colorado Springs, Reno, RGVFC and San Antonio.
The USL will attempt to maintain both the USL Championship and USL League One, with an eventual mind toward creating the pro/rel paradise that is promised in Relegations 3:16.
All of my research regarding facility size and ownership net worth is correct – this is probably the biggest leap of faith we have to make, since googling “NAME net worth” and “CITY richest people” doesn’t seem guaranteed to return accurate results.
The most a club can increase its available seating capacity to meet D1 requirements in a current stadium is no more than 1,500 seats (10% of the required 15,000). If they need to add more, they’ll need a new facility.
Let’s pretend that people are VERY willing to sell. It’s commonly acknowledged that the USL is a more financially feasible route to owning a soccer club than in MLS (c.f. MLS-Charlotte’s reported $325 million expansion fee) and the USSF has some very strict requirements for D1 sanctioning. It becomes pretty apparent when googling a lot of team’s owners that this requirement isn’t met, so let’s assume everyone that can’t sells to people who meet the requirements.

(Known) USSF D1 league requirements:
- League must have 12 teams to apply and 14 teams by year three
- Majority owner must have a net worth of $40 million, and the ownership group must have a total net worth of $70 million. The value of an owned stadium is not considered when calculating this value.
- Must have teams located in the Eastern, Central and Pacific time zones
- 75% of league’s teams must be based in markets with at a metro population of at least 1 million people.
- All league stadiums must have a capacity of at least 15,000
The ideal club candidate for the USL Premiership will meet the population and capacity requirements in its current ground, which will have a grass playing surface. Of the USL Championship’s 27 independent/hybrid affiliate clubs, I did not find one club that meets all these criteria as they currently stand.
Regarding turf fields, the USSF does not have a formal policy regarding the ideal playing surface but it is generally acknowledged that grass is superior to turf. 6 of 26 MLS stadiums utilize turf, or roughly 23% of stadiums. We’ll hold a similar restriction for our top flight, so 2-3 of our top flight clubs can have turf fields. Seem fair?
Capacity is going to be the biggest issue, since the disparity between current requirements for the second-tier (5,000) and the first tier (15,000) is a pretty massive gap. Nice club you have there, triple your capacity and you’re onto something. As a result, I have taken the liberty of relocating certain (read: nearly all) clubs to new grounds, trying my utmost to keep those clubs in their current markets and –importantly--, ensure they play on grass surfaces.
So, let’s do a case-by-case evaluation and see if we can put together 12-14 teams that meet the potential requirements, because what else do you have to do?
For each club’s breakdown, anything that represents a chance from what is currently true will be underlined.
Candidate: Birmingham Legion FC
Location (Metro population): Birmingham, Ala. (1,151,801)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Legion Field (FieldTurf, 71,594)
Potential owner: Stephens Family (reported net worth $4 billion)
Notes: Birmingham has a pretty strong candidacy. Having ditched the 5,000-seater BBVA Field for Legion Field, which sits 2.4 miles away, they’ve tapped into the city’s soccer history. Legion Field hosted portions of both the men’s and women’s tournaments at the 1996 Olympics, including a 3-1 U.S. loss to Argentina that saw 83,183 pack the house. The Harbert family seemed like strong ownership contenders, but since the death of matriarch Marguerite Harbert in 2015, it’s unclear where the wealth in the family is concentrated, so the Stephens seem like a better candidate. The only real knock that I can think of is that we really want to avoid having clubs play on turf, so I’d say they’re on the bubble of our platonic ideal USL Prem.
Candidate: Charleston Battery
Location (Metro population): Charleston, S.C. (713,000)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Johnson Hagood Stadium (Grass, ~14,700)
Potential owner: Anita Zucker (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: Charleston’s candidacy isn’t looking great. Already disadvantaged due to its undersized metro population, a move across the Cooper River to Johnson Hagood Stadium is cutting it close in terms of capacity. The stadium, home to The Citadel’s football team, used to seat 21,000, before 9,300 seats on the eastern grandstand were torn down in 2017 to deal with lead paint that had been used in their construction. Renovation plans include adding 3,000 seats back in, which could hit 15,000 if they bumped it to 3,300, but throw in a required sale by HCFC, LLC (led by content-creation platform founder Rob Salvatore) to chemical magnate Anita Zucker, and you’ll see there’s a lot of ifs and ands in this proposal.
Candidate: Charlotte Independence
Location (Metro population): Charlotte, N.C. (2,569, 213)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Jerry Richardson Stadium (Turf, 15,314)
Potential owner: James Goodnight (reported net worth $9.1 billion)
Notes: Charlotte ticks a lot of the boxes. A move from the Sportsplex at Matthews to UNC-Charlotte’s Jerry Richardson stadium meets capacity requirements, but puts them on to the dreaded turf. Regrettably, nearby American Legion Memorial Stadium only seats 10,500, despite a grass playing surface. With a sizeable metro population (sixth-largest in the USL Championship) and a possible owner in software billionaire James Goodnight, you’ve got some options here. The biggest problem likely lies in direct competition for market share against a much better-funded MLS Charlotte side due to join the league in 2021.
Candidate: Hartford Athletic
Location (Metro population): Hartford, Conn. (1,214,295)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Pratt & Whitney Stadium (Grass, 38,066)
Potential owner: Ray Dalio (reported net worth $18.4 billion)
Notes: Okay, I cheated a bit here, having to relocate Hartford to Pratt & Whitney Stadium, which is technically in East Hartford, Conn. I don’t know enough about the area to know if there’s some kind of massive beef between the two cities, but the club has history there, having played seven games in 2019 while Dillon Stadium underwent renovations. If the group of local businessmen that currently own the club manage to attract Dalio to the table, we’re on to something.
Candidate: Indy Eleven
Location (Metro population): Indianapolis, Ind. (2,048,703)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Lucas Oil Stadium (Turf, 62,421)
Potential owner: Jim Irsay (reported net worth of $3 billion)
Notes: Indy Eleven are a club that are SO CLOSE to being an ideal candidate – if it weren’t for Lucas Oil Stadium’s turf playing surface. Still, there’s a lot to like in this bid. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what current owner and founder Ersal Ozdemir is worth, but it seems like there might be cause for concern. A sale to Irsay, who also owns the NFL Indianapolis (nee Baltimore) Colts, seems likely to keep the franchise there, rather than make a half-mile move to 14,230 capacity Victory Field where the AAA Indianapolis Indians play and expand from there.
Candidate: Louisville City FC
Location (Metro population): Louisville, Ky. (1,297,310)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Lynn Family Stadium (Grass, 14,000, possibly expandable to 20,000)
Potential owner: Wayne Hughes (reported net worth $2.8 billion)
Notes: I’m stretching things a bit here. Lynn Family stadium is currently listed as having 11,700 capacity that’s expandable to 14,000, but they’ve said that the ground could hold as many as 20,000 with additional construction, which might be enough to grant them a temporary waiver from USSF. If the stadium is a no-go, then there’s always Cardinal Stadium, home to the University of Louisville’s football team, which seats 65,000 but is turf. Either way, it seems like a sale to someone like Public Storage founder Wayne Hughes will be necessary to ensure the club has enough capital.
Candidate: Memphis 901 FC
Location (Metro population): Memphis, Tenn. (1,348,260)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Liberty Bowl Stadium (Turf, 58,325)
Potential owner: Fred Smith (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: Unfortunately for Memphis, AutoZone Park’s 10,000 seats won’t cut it at the D1 level. With its urban location, it would likely prove tough to renovate, as well. Liberty Bowl Stadium more than meets the need, but will involve the use of the dreaded turf. As far as an owner goes, FedEx founder Fred Smith seems like a good local option.
Candidate: Miami FC, “The”
Location (Metro population): Miami, Fla. (6,158,824)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Riccardo Silva Stadium (FieldTurf, 20,000)
Potential owner: Riccardo Silva (reported net worth $1 billion)
Notes: Well, well, well, Silva might get his wish for top-flight soccer, after all. He’s got the money, he’s got the metro, and his ground has the capacity. There is the nagging issue of the turf, though. Hard Rock Stadium might present a solution, including a capacity of 64,767 and a grass playing surface. It is worth noting, however, that this is the first profile where I didn’t have to find a new potential owner for a club.
Candidate: North Carolina FC
Location (Metro population): Durham, N.C. (1,214,516 in The Triangle)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Carter-Finley Stadium (Grass/Turf, 57,583)
Potential owner: Steve Malik (precise net worth unknown) / Dennis Gillings (reported net worth of $1.7 billion)
Notes: We have our first “relocation” in North Carolina FC, who were forced to trade Cary’s 10,000-seat WakeMed Soccer Park for Carter-Finley Stadium in Durham, home of the NC State Wolfpack and 57,583 of their closest friends. The move is a whopping 3.1 miles, thanks to the close-knit hub that exists between Cary, Durham and Raleigh. Carter-Finley might be my favorite of the stadium moves in this exercise. The field is grass, but the sidelines are artificial turf. Weird, right? Either way, it was good enough for Juventus to play a friendly against Chivas de Guadalajara there in 2011. Maybe the move would be pushed for by new owner and medical magnate Dennis Gillings, whose British roots might inspire him to get involved in the Beautiful Game. Straight up, though, I couldn’t find a net worth for current owner Steve Malik, though he did sell his company MedFusion for $91 million in 2010, then bought it back for an undisclosed amount and sold it again for $43 million last November. I don’t know if Malik has the juice to meet D1 requirements, but I suspect he’s close.
Candidate: Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC
Location (Metro population): Pittsburgh, Penn. (2,362,453)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Heinz Field (Grass, 64,450)
Potential owner: Henry Hillman (reported net worth $2.5 billion)
Notes: I don’t know a ton about the Riverhounds, but this move in particular feels like depriving a pretty blue-collar club from its roots. Highmark Stadium is a no-go from a seating perspective, but the Steelers’ home stadium at Heinz Field would more than meet the requirements and have a grass surface that was large enough to be sanctioned for a FIFA friendly between the U.S. WNT and Costa Rica in 2015. As for an owner, Tuffy Shallenberger (first ballot owner name HOF) doesn’t seem to fit the USSF bill, but legendary Pittsburgh industrialist Henry Hillman might. I’m sure you’re asking, why not the Rooney Family, if they’ll play at Heinz Field? I’ll tell you: I honestly can’t seem to pin down a value for the family. The Steelers are valued at a little over a billion and rumors persist that Dan Rooney is worth $500 million, but I’m not sure. I guess the Rooneys would work too, but it’s a definite departure from an owner in Shallenberger who was described by one journalist as a guy who “wears boots, jeans, a sweater and a trucker hat.”
Candidate: Saint Louis FC
Location (Metro population): St. Louis, Mo. (2,807,338)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Busch Stadium (Grass, 45,494)
Potential owner: William DeWitt Jr. (reported net worth $4 billion)
Notes: Saint Louis has some weirdness in making the jump to D1. Current CEO Jim Kavanaugh is an owner of the MLS side that will begin play in 2022. The club’s current ground at West Community Stadium isn’t big enough, but perhaps a timely sale to Cardinals owner William DeWitt Jr. could see the club playing games at Busch Stadium, which has a well established history of hosting other sports like hockey, college football and soccer (most recently a U.S. WNT friendly against New Zealand in 2019). The competition with another MLS franchise wouldn’t be ideal, like Charlotte, but with a big enough population and cross marketing from the Cardinals, maybe there’s a winner here. Wacko idea: If Busch doesn’t pan out, send them to The Dome. Sure, it’s a 60k turf closed-in stadium, but we can go for that retro NASL feel and pay homage to our nation’s soccer history.
Candidate: Tampa Bay Rowdies
Location (Metro population): Tampa, Fla. (3,068,511)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Raymond James Stadium (Grass, 65,518)
Potential owner: Edward DeBartolo Jr. (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: This one makes me sad. Despite having never been there, I see Al Lang Stadium as an iconic part of the Rowdies experience. Current owner Bill Edwards proposed an expansion to 18,000 seats in 2016, but the move seems to have stalled out. Frustrated with the city’s lack of action, Edwards sells to one-time San Francisco 49ers owner Edward DeBartolo Jr., who uses his old NFL connections to secure a cushy lease at the home of the Buccaneers in Ray Jay, the site of a 3-1 thrashing of Antigua and Barbuda during the United States’ 2014 World Cup Qualifying campaign.
Breather. Hey, we finished the Eastern Conference teams. Why are you still reading this? Why am I still writing it? Time is a meaningless construct in 2020 my friends, we are adrift in the void, fueled only by brief flashes of what once was and what may yet still be.
Candidate: Austin Bold FC
Location (Metro population): Austin, Texas (2,168,316)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Darrel K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium (FieldTurf, 95,594)
Potential owner: Michael Dell (reported net worth of $32.3 billion)
Notes: Anthony Precourt’s Austin FC has some unexpected competition and it comes in the form of tech magnate Michael Dell. Dell, were he to buy the club, would be one of the richest owners on our list and could flash his cash in the new first division. Would he have enough to convince Darrel K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium (I’m not kidding, that’s its actual name) to go back to a grass surface, like it did from ’96-’08? That’s between Dell and nearly 100,000 UT football fans, but everything can be had for the right price.
Candidate: Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC
Location (Metro population): Colorado Springs, Colo. (738,939)
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Falcon Stadium (FieldTurf, 46,692)
Potential owner: Charles Ergen (reported net worth $10.8 billion)
Notes: Welcome to Colorado Springs. We have hurdles. For the first time in 12 candidates, we’re back below the desired 1 million metro population mark. Colorado Springs actually plans to build a $35 million, 8,000 seat venue downtown that will be perfect for soccer, but in our timeline that’s 7,000 seats short. Enter Falcon Stadium, home of the Air Force Academy Falcons football team. Seems perfect except for the turf, right? Well, the tricky thing is that Falcon Stadium is technically on an active military base and is (I believe) government property. Challenges to getting in and out of the ground aside, the military tends to have a pretty grim view of government property being used by for-profit enterprises. Maybe Charles Ergen, founder and chairman of Dish Network, would be able to grease the right wheels, but you can go ahead and throw this into the “doubtful” category. It’s a shame, too. 6,035 feet of elevation is one hell of a home-field advantage.
Candidate: El Paso Locomotive FC
Location: El Paso, Texas
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Sun Bowl (FieldTurf, 51,500)
Potential owner: Paul Foster (reported net worth $1.7 billion)
Notes: God bless Texas. When compiling this list, I found so many of the theoretical stadium replacements were nearly serviceable by high school football fields. That’s insane, right? Anyway, Locomotive don’t have to settle for one of those, they’ve got the Sun Bowl, which had its capacity reduced in 2001 to a paltry 51,500 (from 52,000) specifically to accommodate soccer. Sure, it’s a turf surface, but what does new owner Paul Foster (who is only the 1,477th wealthiest man in the world, per Forbes) care, he’s got a team in a top league. Side note: Did you know that the Sun Bowl college football game is officially, through sponsorship, the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl? Why is it not the Frosted Flakes Sun Bowl? Why is the cereal mascot the promotional name of the football game? What are you doing, Kellogg’s?
Candidate: Las Vegas Lights FC
Location: Las Vegas, Nev. (2,227,053)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Allegiant Stadium (Grass, 61,000)
Potential owner: Sheldon Adelson (reported net worth $37.7 billion)
Notes: Sin City. You had to know that the club that once signed Freddy Adu because “why not” was going to go all out in our flashy hypothetical proposal. Thanks to my narrative control of this whole thing, they have. Adelson is the second-richest owner in the league and has decided to do everything first class. That includes using the new Raiders stadium in nearby unincorporated Paradise, Nevada, and spending boatloads on high profile transfers. Zlatan is coming back to the U.S., confirmed.
Candidate: New Mexico United
Location: Albuquerque, N.M.
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Isotopes Park – officially Rio Grande Credit Union Field at Isotopes Park (Grass, 13,500 – 15,000 with expansion)
Potential owner: Maloof Family (reported net worth $1 billion)
Notes: New Mexico from its inception went deep on the community vibe, and I’ve tried to replicate that in this bid. The home field of Rio Grande Cr---I’m not typing out the whole thing—Isotopes Park falls just within the expansion rules we set to make it to 15,000 (weird, right?) and they’ve found a great local ownership group in the Lebanese-American Maloof (formerly Maalouf) family from Las Vegas. The only thing to worry about would be the metro population, but overall, this could be one of the gems of USL Prem.
Candidate: Oklahoma City Energy FC
Location: Oklahoma City, Okla. (1,396,445)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark (Grass, 13,066)
Potential owner: Harold Hamm (reported net worth $14.2 billion)
Notes: There’s a bright golden haze on the meadow and it says it’s time to change stadiums and owners to make it to D1. A sale to oil magnate Harold Hamm would give the club the finances it needs, but Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark (home of the OKC Dodgers) actually falls outside of the boundary of what would meet capacity if 1,500 seats were added. Could the club pull off a move to Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium in Norman, Oklahoma – home of the Oklahoma Sooners? Maybe, but at 20 miles, this would be a reach.
Candidate: Orange County SC
Location: Irvine, Calif. (3,176, 000 in Orange County)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Angels Stadium of Anaheim (Grass, 43,250)
Potential owner: Arte Moreno (reported net worth $3.3 billion)
Notes: You’ll never convince me that Rangers didn’t choose to partner with Orange County based primarily on its name. Either way, a sale to MLB Angels owner Arte Moreno produces a fruitful partnership, with the owner choosing to play his newest club out of the existing Angels stadium in OC. Another baseball conversion, sure, but with a metro population of over 3 million and the closest thing this hypothetical league has to an LA market, who’s complaining?
Candidate: Phoenix Rising FC
Location: Phoenix, Ariz. (4,857,962)
Time zone: Arizona
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): State Farm Stadium (Grass, 63,400)
Potential owner: Ernest Garcia II (reported net worth $5.7 billion)
Notes: We’re keeping it local with new owner and used car guru Ernest Garcia II. His dad owned a liquor store and he dropped out of college, which is making me feel amazing about my life choices right now. Casino Arizona Field is great, but State Farm Stadium is a grass surface that hosted the 2019 Gold Cup semifinal, so it’s a clear winner. Throw in Phoenix’s massive metro population and this one looks like a lock.
Candidate: Reno 1868 FC
Location: Reno, Nev. (425,417)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Mackay Stadium (FieldTurf, 30,000)
Potential owner: Nancy Walton Laurie (reported net worth $7.1 billion)
Notes: The Biggest Little City on Earth has some serious barriers to overcome, thanks to its low metro population. A sale to Walmart heiress Nancy Walton Laurie and 1.6 mile-move to Mackay Stadium to split space with the University of Nevada, Reno makes this bid competitive, but the turf surface is another knock against it.
Candidate: Rio Grande Valley FC
Location: Edinburg, Texas (900,304)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): McAllen Memorial Stadium (FieldTurf, 13,500 – 15,000 with expansion)
Potential owner: Alice Louise Walton (reported net worth $45 billion)
Notes: Yes, I have a second straight Walmart heiress on the list. She was the first thing that popped up when I googled “McAllen Texas richest people.” The family rivalry has spurred Walton to buy a club as well, moving them 10 miles to McAllen Memorial Stadium which, as I alluded to earlier, is a straight up high school football stadium with a full color scoreboard. Toss in an additional 1,500 seats and you’ve met the minimum, despite the turf playing surface.
Candidate: San Antonio FC
Location: San Antonio, Texas (2,550,960)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Alamodome (FieldTurf, 64,000)
Potential owner: Red McCombs (reported net worth $1.6 billion)
Notes: I wanted to keep SAFC in the Spurs family, since the franchise is valued at $1.8 billion. That said, I didn’t let the Rooneys own the Riverhounds based on the Steelers’ value and it felt wrong to change the rules, so bring on Clear Channel co-founder Red McCombs. Toyota Field isn’t viable in the first division, but for the Alamodome, which was built in 1993 in hopes of attracting an NFL franchise (and never did), San Antonio can finally claim having *a* national football league team in its town (contingent on your definition of football). Now if only we could do something about that turf…
Candidate: San Diego Loyal SC
Location: San Diego, Calif. (3,317,749)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): SDCCU Stadium (formerly Qualcomm) (Grass, 70,561)
Potential owner: Phil Mickelson (reported net worth $91 million)
Notes: Yes, golf’s Phil Mickelson. The existing ownership group didn’t seem to have the wherewithal to meet requirements, and Phil seemed to slot right in. As an athlete himself, he might be interesting in the new challenges of a top flight soccer team. Toss in a move to the former home of the chargers and you might have a basis for tremendous community support.
Candidate: FC Tulsa
Location: Tulsa, Okla. (991,561)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Skelly Field at H.A. Chapman Stadium (FieldTurf, 30,000)
Potential owner: George Kaiser ($10 billion)
Notes: I’m a fan of FC Tulsa’s rebrand, but if they want to make the first division, more changes are necessary. A sale to Tulsa native and one of the 100 richest men in the world George Kaiser means that funding is guaranteed. A move to Chapman Stadium would provide the necessary seats, despite the turf field. While the undersize population might be an issue at first glance, it’s hard to imagine U.S. Soccer not granting a waiver over a less than a 10k miss from the mark.
And that’s it! You made it. Those are all of the independent/hybrid affiliates in the USL Championship, which means that it’s time for our…
VERDICT: As an expert who has studied this issue for almost an entire day now, I am prepared to pronounce which USL Championships could be most ‘ready” for a jump to the USL Prem. A reminder that of the 27 clubs surveyed, 0 of them met our ideal criteria (proper ownership $, metro population, 15,000+ stadium with grass field).
Two of them, however, met almost all of those criteria: Indy Eleven and Miami FC. Those two clubs may use up two of our three available turf fields right from the outset, but the other factors they hit (particularly Silva’s ownership of Miami) makes them difficult, if not impossible to ignore for the top flight.
But who fill in the rest of the slots? Meet the entire 14-team USL Premier League:
Hartford Athletic
Indy Eleven
Louisville City FC
Miami FC
North Carolina FC
Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC
Tampa Bay Rowdies
Saint Louis FC
San Antonio FC
New Mexico United
Phoenix Rising FC
Las Vegas Lights FC
Orange County SC
San Diego Loyal SC
Now, I shall provide my expert rationale for each club’s inclusion/exclusion, which can be roughly broken down into four categories.
Firm “yes”
Hartford Athletic: It’s a good market size with a solid stadium. With a decent investor and good community support, you’ve got potential here.
Indy Eleven: The turf at Lucas Oil Stadium is no reason to turn down a 62,421 venue and a metro population of over 2 million.
Louisville City FC: Why doesn’t the 2017 & 2018 USL Cup champion deserve a crack at the top flight? They have the market size, and with a bit of expansion have the stadium at their own SSS. LCFC, you’re in.
Miami FC, “The”: Our other blue-chip recruit on the basis of ownership value, market size and stadium capacity. Yes, that field is turf, but how could you snub Silva’s chance to claim victory as the first division 1 club soccer team to play in Miami?
Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC: Pittsburgh sacrificed a lot to be here (according to my arbitrary calculations). Their market size and the potential boon of soccer at Heinz Field is an important inclusion to the league.
Saint Louis FC: Willie hears your “Busch League” jokes, Willie don’t care. A huge market size, combined with the absence of an NFL franchise creates opportunity. Competition with the MLS side, sure, but St. Louis has serious soccer history and we’re willing to bet it can support two clubs.
Tampa Bay Rowdies: With a huge population and a massive stadium waiting nearby, Tampa Bay seems like too good of an opportunity to pass up for the USL Prem.
Las Vegas Lights FC: Ostentatious, massive and well-financed, Las Vegas Lights FC is everything that the USL Premier League would need to assert that it didn’t intend to play second fiddle to MLS. Players will need to be kept on a short leash, but this is a hard market to pass up on.
Phoenix Rising FC: Huge population, big grass field available nearby and a solid history of success in recent years. No brainer.
San Diego Loyal SC: New club? Yes, massive population in a market that recently lost an absolutely huge sports presence? Also yes. This could be the USL Prem’s Seattle.
Cautious “yes”
New Mexico United: You have to take a chance on New Mexico United. The club set the league on fire with its social media presence and its weight in the community when it entered the league last season. The market may be slightly under USSF’s desired 1 million, but fervent support (and the ability to continue to use Isotopes Park) shouldn’t be discounted.
North Carolina FC: Carter-Finley’s mixed grass/turf surface is a barrier, to be sure, but the 57,000+ seats it offers (and being enough to offset other fully-turf offerings) is enough to put it in the black.
Orange County SC: It’s a top-tier club playing in a MLB stadium. I know it seems unlikely that USSF would approve something like that, but believe me when I say “it could happen.” Orange County is a massive market and California likely needs two clubs in the top flight.
San Antonio FC: Our third and only voluntary inclusion to the turf fields in the first division, we’re counting on San Antonio’s size and massive potential stadium to see it through.
Cautious “no”
Birmingham Legion FC: The town has solid soccer history and a huge potential venue, but the turf playing surface puts it on the outside looking in.
Memphis 901 FC: Like Birmingham, not much to dislike here outside of the turf playing surface at the larger playing venue.
Austin Bold FC: See the other two above.
FC Tulsa: Everything’s just a little bit off with this one. Market’s slightly too small, stadium has turf. Just not enough to put it over the top.
Firm “no”
Charleston Battery: Small metro and a small potential new stadium? It’s tough to say yes to the risk.
Charlotte Independence: A small new stadium and the possibility of having to compete with an organization that just paid over $300 million to join MLS means it’s best for this club to remain in the USL Championship.
Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC: When a club’s best chance to meet a capacity requirement is to host games at a venue controlled by the military, that doesn’t speak well to a club’s chances.
El Paso Locomotive FC: An undersized market and a turf field that meets capacity requirements is the death knell for this one.
Oklahoma City Energy FC: Having to expand a baseball field to meet requirements is a bad start. Having to potentially play 20 miles away from your main market is even worse.
Reno 1868 FC: Population nearly a half-million short of the federation’s requirements AND a turf field at the hypothetical new stadium makes impossible to say yes to this bid.
Rio Grande Valley FC: All the seat expansions in the world can’t hide the fact that McAllen Memorial Stadium is a high school stadium through and through.
Here’s who’s left in the 11-team Championship:
Birmingham Legion FC
Charleston Battery
Charlotte Independence
Memphis 901 FC
Austin Bold FC
Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC
El Paso Locomotive FC
Oklahoma City Energy FC
Reno 1868 FC
Rio Grande Valley FC
FC Tulsa
With MLS folding the six affiliates it has in USL League One, the league is a little bit thin (especially considering USSF’s requirements for 8 teams for lower level leagues), but seems definitely able to expand up to the necessary numbers with Edwards’ allusions to five new additions this year:
Chattanooga Red Wolves SC
Forward Madison FC
Greenville Triumph SC
Union Omaha
Richmond Kickers
South Georgia Tormenta
FC Tucson
Format of Assorted Leagues – This (like everything in this post) is pure conjecture on my part, but here are my thoughts on how these leagues might function in a first year while waiting for additional expansion.
USL Premier – We’ll steal from the 12-team Scottish Premiership. Each club plays the other 11 clubs 3 times, with either one or two home matches against each side. When each club has played 33 matches, the top six and bottom six separate, with every club playing an additional five matches (against each other team in its group). The top club wins the league. The bottom club is automatically relegated. The second-bottom club will enter a two-legged playoff against someone (see below) from the championship playoffs.
USL Championship -- 11 clubs is a challenge to schedule for. How about every club plays everyone else three times (either one or two home matches against each side)? Top four clubs make the playoffs, which are decided by two-legged playoffs. The winner automatically goes up. I need feedback on the second part – is it better to have the runner-up from the playoffs face the second-bottom club from the Premiership, or should the winner of the third-place match-up get the chance to face them to keep drama going in both playoff series? As for relegation, we can clearly only send down the last place club while the third division is so small.
USL League One – While the league is so small, it doesn’t seem reasonable to have the clubs play as many matches as the higher divisions. Each club could play the other six clubs four times – twice at home and twice away – for a very equitable 24-match regular season, which would help restrict costs and still provide a chance to determine a clear winner. Whoever finishes top of the table goes up.
And there you have it, a hypothetical look at how the USL could build a D1 league right now. All it would take is a new stadium for almost the entire league and new owners for all but one of the 27 clubs, who wouldn’t feel that their property would be massively devalued if they got relegated.
Well that’s our show. I’m curious to see what you think of all of this, especially anything that you think I may have overlooked (I’m sure there’s plenty). Anyway, I hope you’re all staying safe and well.

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It's The Rich Man's World in Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor

Warning: Mild Spoilers for Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor, as well as its second season Against All Odds.
In a Discord server I mod, one of the bots has an option to gamble with a virtual currency. You gain coins by scoring in a coveted top-three spot for any given artist. The gambling is limited to a single channel, fittingly called #gambling-den, and while at the start I have observed people gambling some of this fake currency, lately it’s full of users simply gambling “all”. I don’t have the channel muted, even though I should have, and I like to gamble all as well - just to see myself lose. Every time I return to the channel - not that this happens worryingly often, simply once in a while - I gamble with the intent of losing everything I got. Maybe this time, I tell myself, I will quit for good. Maybe this time, I will learn my lesson. After all, everything should be in moderation, and I always lose with these things (I was thinking of the gambling moments in the designated city in Pokémon games), and anyway, gambling is haram. Yet I never mute the channel, and I feel a low current in myself, the tip of a dynamite ready to spark: a sliver of a hope to raise the white numbers on a black background. A fuse kicks off when I do, and a cold wind blows out my flame when I don’t. Tough luck, I tell myself. Maybe next time.
Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor, and its successor Kaiji: Against All Odds tap into this vague rush of luck and unfold it into its extremes: innocuous games develop to sprawling plans of strategy and a deathly corrosion of empathy and selfishness; debt-riddled characters, beginning from the protagonist Itou Kaiji, that put their hope into said games, regardless what happens to their minds and bodies; and lastly, the owners of the devious games that enjoy the sight that presents itself. You could watch Kaiji and thank God your sense of gambling isn’t as severe as his -- but you could also watch Kaiji and see a millennial suffering through the uncaring systems of this world.
The first thing we know of twenty-one-year old Kaiji is that he’s just lost a gamble among friends. “The future is in our hands”, doubling both as opening title and poster in Kaiji’s single-room apartment, quickly unhinges on one side as if it sensed the viewer’s presence or realized the sheer crookedness of this statement. The narrator quickly adds with a grave voiceover that Kaiji lives in Tokyo for three years, hasn’t been employed since New Years, and that he is a bum. He spends his money on beer and gambles and likes to hang stolen emblems of foreign cars like trophies to be won in order to release the pent-up resentment. “Anyone who drives this car can’t be a good person, anyway,” Kaiji says with a petty smile on his face, but moments later, the reality of his situation crushes him: “It’s all about money,” he mutters, lying on the ground while a silent tear runs over his cheeks. Seasoned loan shark Endou pays Kaiji a visit moments to remind him of a debt he cosigned, its crushing interest raising it to unmanageable levels, all of which Kaiji has to pay for alone now. The only way out of it is to enter a ship named Espoir (French for “hope”), alongside an accompanying game: it will either clear his debt or put him into underground work for a year or two. Kaiji seems against it - he won’t pay the debt, and to hell with the ship. But Endou is quick to remind him that the worst possible outcome is to continue living like he does. The cruise could be a great opportunity to rid of this “loser” mentality that Kaiji has: his resignation to this life, as unhappy as it is. After all, the things Kaiji wants are always behind display cases, and could he ever think of buying the foreign cars he likes to mutilate? “You’ve given up from the beginning and are satisfied by the little pranks you play,” Endou says as a choir and organs wail dramatically behind him. “If you had ten million, would you do shit like that? Of course you wouldn’t!” Kaiji grunts, all too aware that Endou is right. Must be funny in the rich man’s world, ABBA have aptly sung in Money Money Money. almost four decades ago. Kaiji spends two seasons proving them right.
Early on in the first arc and in the game provided in the ship -- an adult men’s card game involving stars, money, a ticking clock, and rock-paper-scissors -- Kaiji mentions the desire to be better multiple times. “Once we get out of here,” he says, “let’s turn our life around. Let’s really try our best.” The game itself requires a hand of luck or the confidence to make his own choice, but as Kaiji fails to have either -- his cunning is reserved for self-interest at the morally purest level, and he’d rather have someone else choose for him -- he’s quickly scammed by the sly Funai. Kaiji finds himself two new friends to survive the game with, convinced that they wouldn’t betray him, and determined to get all three out of the ship hell or high water. The early winners enjoy the game from above with champagne flutes and stars pinned on their chest; the early losers find themselves doomed behind the game room, stripped bare both literally and mentally, dubbed as “hell” by both Kaiji and the narrator. As the four-hour time and card counters tick down ominously, an uneasy, tense electricity passes through the viewer and Kaiji’s face, which usually alternates between a worried face slick with sweat or wet with tears. To win three stars each for the three with a limited amount of cards and money proves itself a tightrope act, requiring Kaiji to plan on the fly as they are thwarted over and over. It comes as little surprise that the visual metaphors in this show usually revolve around abysses, darknesses, lighthouses, and bridges; red, violet, and blue swirls of dark thoughts and evil intent; monstrous hands that claw and pull at the characters; stretches of zawa, translated as “uneasy atmosphere”. Kaiji stops mentioning this elusive better life in progressing episodes, more focused on friendships and winning for their sake, but he doesn’t deny others of their dreams: in the climax of the first arc as well as one of its tensest moments, Kaiji hears the calls of a teary-eyed man and saves him from the literal hell that awaits him. Ironically, it is preceded by a betrayal of the earlier mentioned friends.
The show is about as subtle about its observations on capitalism as a sledgehammer flying your way. The ultimate antagonist is Hyoudou, an old and rich conglomerate head who admits he likes to see poor people like Kaiji struggle, that the only form of sincerity is in the face of crushing debt and pain; two henchmen act as players opposite Kaiji, both in season one and season two; the second season’s first game plays out in a prison for debtors, its second in a casino run by the conglomerate, while the Espoir is a sponsored affair. The second card game involves slaves that can win against emperors; a character aptly surmises that the poor don’t care about overthrowing the system, simply about being rich themselves. Kaiji has a difficult relationship with society, leading him to unemployment, but he needs to have money somehow. Unsurprisingly, he circles back to gambling, and back into the conglomerate’s hands. But there’s also Kaiji’s fellow debtors that work against him, equal in Kaiji in every way barring their moral stance: while Kaiji will think of a collective - two losers that could help him out on a ship, say, or a group of workers that owe the local kingpin money - these debtors are driven by a selfish sense of survival. Empathy, kindness, and respect: these are the coordinates that Kaiji operates in such high-risk situations, rewarded by men that believe in Kaiji’s good graces and help him the best they can. However, these virtues are juxtaposed with Kaiji’s vice to simply win: a gamble involving tissues that he thinks of on the fly; an accusation of theft that Kaiji seizes as opportunity to offer a gamble; the pachinko game that nobody can beat. “The fucking pigs that thought of this system, where everyone is taken advantage of, are laughing their asses off. The more we think about loss and gain, the more obsessed we become, the more we play into these fuckers’ hands!” Kaiji shouts; the next episode, he regrets that he’s helped out anyone to begin with; the episode after that, he starts crying at the prospect of (literally) pushing aside someone to win. By the second season, he actively begs for a new gamble, anything to rid of his broke state and clear his debts as swiftly as possible. He’s led by vague beliefs of reaching for the stars, but a moment later the narrator flips around the hopeful image: “Kaiji is back into the darkness of gambling, where the light of stars never reach.” But in the darkness, he finds the light of fellow men, ultimately able to dispel the fog for even a single moment.
“Kaiji, fated to lose, loses; Hyoudou, fated to win, wins,” recaps the narrator in the second season. It’s crucial that only Hyoudou is mentioned here; as much as capitalism favors companies that own as much as possible as fast as possible, there is always a single man behind the company, the ruler over the rulers. We like to think of this singular owner in order to relay it to us, to give ourselves motivation and despair both; this trick involving carrots and sticks is one frequently brought up in the show as well, by the people that think they can claim a part of capitalism’s cake. Tonegawa admonishes Kaiji until the game turns in on him, calling him trash and belittling his ability to strategize. He berates another character, Sahara, for even asking more than a fake ticket meaning nothing: “Whether you’re a salaryman or a bureaucrat, everyone is risking their lives for money!” The show makes no illusions on ordinary life: to work up, suck up to people they dislike, and barely save with money - that the characters that are racked up with debt have no way to mingle with that league. In one of the most emotional moments of the show, it draws a link between money ruling the solitary person, the solitary person’s isolation, and how connections are all that we have left. It ceases to be about the debts made, gained, regained, and cleared: as two characters ask one another if they’re okay, that they’re here, they can make it to the other side. I am reminded of a moment of Korean future classic Parasite (2019, dir. Bong Joon Ho), in which the poor driver asks the rich man if, despite her lack of cooking, cleaning, or maintaining the house, he loves his wife. The rich man hesitates for a second, then starts laughing. “Of course I do,” he says with a conviction that love has no materialistic gain. It only propels the poor character to scam the rich some more.
The best arcs of Kaiji are the ones where he has some control in the games and said control isn’t pulled out of thin air. Ostensibly, it’s because an active protagonist makes for better stories, a far more engaging watch than a protagonist simply pulled from one moment to the next. But as the show personifies capitalism, gives him a name and an unseemly appearance to match, Kaiji’s control gains a second and third dimension. Because to talk about capitalism is to talk about control: who gets to have control, who can exact control on you, who bought the game and rigged it. So then, Kaiji seizing the means means a pushback, a rebellion: in a system within a system, he can thrive and win -- and maybe get the people around him to win, also. When Kaiji is able to tell the opponent’s card, it is not by sheer deus-ex-machina, but by observation and planning in the game’s long term. When he can accurately call out a scam, it’s with the additional knowledge that Kaiji himself has a counter plan. “We don’t care about your rules,” Kaiji’s VA sings in the first opening. “We don’t care about your morals / We weren’t born to lose.” The rebellious attitude manifests best when Kaiji has something to rebel against, and if it’s in his means. Conversely, the most crushing moments of Kaiji are the moments where the chance of him destroying himself irreversibly seem greater than him winning, when his life is on the line and his irises have shrunk far into his wide eyes. In those moments, it’s impossible not to think of the pain of Kaiji’s temporary friends; as if he could hear the viewer’s thoughts, Kaiji frequently cries for the same reason. Absolute despair, chants the narrator.
In her excellent essay collection Trick Mirror: Reflections of Self-Delusion, Jia Tolentino observes that, now more than ever, surviving can look a lot like a lottery. “As wealth continues to flow upward,” she continues, “as Americans are increasingly shut out of their own democracy, as political action is constrained to online spectacle, I have felt so many times that the choice of this era is to be destroyed or to morally compromise ourselves in order to be functional -- to be wrecked, or to be functional for reasons that contribute to the wreck.” For one and a half episode, we see Kaiji’s moral compromise in order to function in society: he pushes aside the people that are friendly to him and presents himself as difficult on purpose. But in the gambles and against morally compromised people, his own moral compass shines through. He can only control when it’s a system within a system, a rigged game he can work against, be it by its design or the opponent’s cheats. In the workplace, he admits he can’t suck up to others and that he hates others that do; in the gambling ship, he berates others that they didn’t care about friendship, about the promises he’s wholeheartedly believed in. His sole sore spot, expertly pushed by Endou over and over until its breaking point, is when he points out to Kaiji that he can’t make choices on his own, and thus control his own life. Control, then, becomes both the bridge the characters crave and the abyss that they all fear. It manifests in the darkness and the hands that seizes hold of the characters. It’s Kaiji’s obsession of gambling, and its lack the empty feeling he senses in ordinary life, desperation and economic bankruptcy beckoning at every corner. Control, simply put, hides in the games of the show, the gambles that Kaiji takes, over and over: the fleeting moments where Kaiji doesn’t cry or feels despair, where he takes the scam head-on and has a retaliation, where he can take care of others and of himself. The outside games showcase compulsion -- the lack of control -- but even then, it’s hard to admonish Kaiji, who genuinely seems like a good person compromised by the world he’s in. In the second opening’s second half, Hyoudou’s wide and joyous face twists and turns to a roulette that Kaiji runs on like a ball to someone’s game, money bills blowing past him. He stretches out his hand to a bird of light; in the next shot, it flies high above the air and Kaiji chases on concrete. He falls, scraped and bruised, and gets up, eyes wide and then narrow as the viewer takes the bird’s place and flies off to the distance. “I can do it,” sings the vocalist of Fear, and Loathing in Las Vegas. “Stretch out your hand.”
There’s a message pinned to the #gambling-den channel in our Discord server, dated 23rd December. “there is a command called !gamble all alt that will gamble an extreme amount of your coins, and result in gains or losses of up to 25x”. I tried it out and promptly won, totalling my fictional currency to around 100k and, more importantly, got myself a spot in the top 20 currency holders of our server (a proud #13). I tried out the command again, but mixed up the prefix; this was while watching a Kaiji episode, and I felt in my gut that I would lose. I tried again and, as I had predicted, lost all of my currency. A fellow user, one that is very fond of me, sent 500 my way, and right away I felt the embarrassment I always do when receiving presents. “It’s not that serious,” I wrote; but in truth, I still glance at the channel, waiting for the moment when I feel ready to lose it all again. Or, maybe, possibly, gain some more. You know, just so that I can lose it all.
Credits: Title is a lyric from ABBA’s Money Money Money, off the 1976 album Arrival.
Translations to the first season are provided by the sub group Triad, the second by Nutbladder (if the file names don’t completely fail me). The translation to zawa has been found by urbandictionary. If there is a mistake in the translations provided, please let me know.
Parasite (2019) is a movie directed by Boon Jong-Ho, distributed in the US by Neon.
The excerpt off Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion is in the essay A Story of a Generation in Seven Scams. The book is out via Random House and on all bookstores.
Translations to the second opening, Chase the Light, provided by Musicmatch.
Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor and Kaiji: Against All Odds has no licensors available for legal streaming (according to MAL).
Also thank you to DutchPeasant, Chariotwheel, and theangryeditor for their initial insights and comments.

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It's The Rich Man's World in Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor

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